It's been a while since the last blog, so apologies as this will be a big one helped by the fact I have 2.5 hours on a ferry to kill. We are waiting to depart Phuket Harbour on an overcrowded but surprisingly comfortable boat to Phi Phi where Alexia and Ash await us for the next 3 nights.
Quick warning to people travelling to KL - they either won't accept credit cards anywhere or refuse to take tourists credit cards. We were lucky it wasn't a huge issue for us it just meant an earlier night but get cash.
On Tuesday afternoon awaiting us at Phuket airport were the smiling but tired faces of Lexi and Ash and our shuttle bus driver to take us to the resort. I'll get the thank you done now as their names will appear later so to resort manager Leah and to the Googly Eyed Warrior thank you for sorting our perfect rooms out for us.
We checked in, dropped bags, lied about having a shower and a rest and went straight to the beach for an ice cold beer. Those that know me well know that sometimes I can get in an overexcited mood - the sun, waves, great company and table service are all key triggers of this. While we had an awesome afternoon and it was so cool to meet any man who can calm Lexi down it ended rather early with the last thing I remember seeing was 7.58pm on the room clock. We did manage to eat which meant the next day wouldn't start too badly but I also learned a valuable lesson in checking the plumbing when using a urinal in the future. I can confirm that the weird sensation I was having when using the public toilet was in fact me pissing on my own foot.
We had 6 nights in total at the Outrigger in Laguna Beach, and each of those mornings took full advantage of the buffet breakfast, clean towels, free soaps and shampoos and first class service.
Day 2 was standard tourism around the pool reading and sleeping. The plan was that night to make the trip in to Patong and Bangla Rd. Now I am not a massive fan of Patong having been worn down by a week on the strip 7 years ago but in fairness the company back then was shit and it is something you have to see at least once. Kate and the guys were in for a treat on their first experience. My Nan reads these so I will keep it clean, but in Patong you can see, touch, feel or taste what ever the heart desires and there are many westerners there to take advantage of that. We had the honour and privilege of watching an Asian dressed as Elvis sing Biebs to us over dinner - fair to say I got a tad into that. Lexi and Ash went to a ping pong show and learned a new way to prepare your morning eggs and old bleeding heart mighty saved a poor crying English girl until he realised she'd lost her darts and money shockingly and was being played. When will I learn. After the craziness we regrouped at Australia Bar and I found myself in a shot drinking contest with the lovely ladyboy waiter Billy which she won. After what was an ordinary taxi ride in, our tuk tuk home was amazing. Music pumping, speeding and traffic laws being ignored, laughs and great times - the only way to travel in Thialand.
I have very little to report about the next day. I went to breakfast still drunk. We ate a burger at the place that won 'second best burger' two years running. I should have eaten at the joint that won as I spent the afternoon hugging a toilet bowl. Kate tried to look after me but I was unresponsive. I spent the night alone in bed.
Lexi and Ash's last day and I put yesterday down to a bug and was firing again. We knocked off Harry Potter and the Order of the Phoenix and a quick surf before making our way to a bit further down the beach to a bit more of an interesting area for dinner and drinks with the locals. The meal and drinks flowed at Emmy's bar as did the conversation in broken English with our new friends. We met a lovely waiter who works his ass off to send money back home to his family in Cambodia and a bartender who was convinced Kate's drinks didn't have enough alcohol in them and added a little bit more each time. We then headed over to Orange Corner bar. Kate and I destroyed the competition on the pool table - it was an awesome display. We then sat down to drinks with a gay married Russian couple who were living in Thailand after being married in Denmark as gays are still heavily persecuted in Russia. The conversation was great and fun until one of them played God Save the Queen. It all went very pear shaped as he got angry at us for not knowing our anthem and being disrespectful while telling me how dumb I was for not recognising Queen Victoria was our first PM in 1836. See ya mate time to leave. Grabbed a traveler and hopped in a tuk tuk with Gimley. Offered old mate Gimmers a sip of my beer and in one foul swoop I was left with an empty can and a real appreciation for a great man.
See you in a few days Lexi and Ash, enter Googs and the lovely Tanya. Very happy for Googs as he deserves a good lady and a good lady Tanya is. We accompanied them to the Black Tie Muay Thai III gala event in the hotel ball room and were shocking underdressed but owned it as Kate and I played secret billionaires. We had seats A1 and A2 to a night of fighting, free flow, great food and rich people feeling good about themselves giving to charity. It was this sense of charity that made Kate's move to drop 1000B on raffle tickets seem odd as we are the poor ones, however it paid dividends with us winning! A vip experience at a night club in Bangla Rd for us and 4 others and a coffee machine and tea / coffee products. The second prize completely useless to us but who cares we won. UFC experts and now Muay Thai experts Googs and myself called all the fights the way the judges saw them. Very pleased with my girl knocking out the little Pom chick. Flattened when Googs gave me a clothesline from hell in the middle of the ring. To end the night perfectly we met the lovely Barton (CFO of a chain of restaurants in Phuket) and were informed by "Chef" that we were invited to a bottomless brunch tomorrow on him - no need for arm twisting there.
We roll in the next day for bottomless brunch at 11.30am welcomed with beers and cocktails. The food was stunning and we can't thank Chef and Leah enough for this experience. It was lifestyles of the rich and famous. We sat, we drank, we ate...we had a ball topped off by a video call back home to the Freight Train. We also learned the secrets of the hotel trade. The juice cups are so small to stop Chinese from wasting so much. The secret of the towels is industrial driers. Room service is so expensive to deter people from using is. Buffets run at about 30% wastage! This is again due mainly to the Chinese and their need to fill the table with food even if they don't plan to eat it. While Kate and I took a nap Googs 3rd-wheeled it with Leah and Tanya who kept drinking somehow all late afternoon before the gang added Barton and headed back to Bangla to use our prize. Low expectations were blown out of the water. Vodka and Jäger flowed as the rnb pumped all free of charge. We really had a fun night made better by having an old friend there and meeting some new amazing people. The lovely Barton drove us home in his car and if you are any good at math you know 6 doesn't go into 5. Sure enough we are pulled over by the traffic police. Fair to say we started to feel sick and quite concerned. Googs was calculating how much money he had in the bank, Kate was grateful she didn't bring her real rings and I was hoping my tattoos were a map of the prison plumbing system. Barton - calmer than any man - said a few words and we were on our way. Did we over react? We spent the rest of the car ride home convincing each other our fears were real...
I will not remember Phuket for the resort but for the people we shared the resort with. Amazing people.
Googs - I am wearing my footy jumper as I write this - even received a compliment!!!
While we love the luxury, to be honest we are both looking forward to getting back to hostel life. It's hard to explain but it feels a bit more 'us' and of course can't wait to explore somewhere new in Phi Phi with Lexi and my boy Ash. 3 nights there if this boat doesn't sink and then off to Chiangmai.
