To say I've adjusted to being back "home" wouldn't be 100% truthful. I've started to get things squared away and started to get back into the groove of work, even if it is just temporary for 3 months. It is definitely weird being back. I'm having a bit of reverse culture shock. I miss having GST included in everything, I miss half flush toilets, I really miss hearing a large diversity of accents, I even miss not having a tv so I can be forced to meet people and do things. I really do miss my home in Cairns and all my friends back there as well as those that have already returned to their home countries. Some of us have plans to get together for a reunion at some point in the future, but we will have to see how it pans out.
Reflecting on my experience, it's strange to see how far I've come. I went from being over the moon excited to leave for Australia at the end of December, to having a complete breakdown upon arrival in Sydney since I didn't have a job right away and didn't know what I was doing. I even considered coming home early since I had no idea what I had just done to myself and my life. Luckily I got through that. Also, almost everyone I talked to went through the same experience. Looking for jobs and trying to figure everything out can be rough when you truly are on your own, but it's something you have to go through. Yes, it sucks balls when you're going through it, but you'll make it through and you'll be hella grateful that you stuck it out, I know I am.
I fell in love with Australia all over again. This time a little further north in Cairns. I know it's not everyone's cup of tea, and I often have to hold my tongue when people say they were in Cairns for a week and that was too long. I love the city, the culture, the activities, the people, everything. I really do consider it one of my homes. Once I finally settled myself down and got to working, I really got into a groove. It took me about a month, but eventually I was even able to make some dear, close friends that I am supremely grateful for meeting. I honestly didn't think I would actually make close friends while abroad, I thought it would be strangers chatting to pass the time, but it was so much more than that. I learned to let my guard down more and just be the crazy version of myself from the start. Apparently I'm not quite as socially inept as I thought and I'm not as much of an introvert as I thought. Part of me is retreating right now, and I just hope I can get it back when I return. I'm sure I will. I want it all back. For the first time in my life, I felt like I was actually living life and not just plodding along. It didn't matter if I had a life plan mapped out, I was living for the moment and just doing what I liked and wanted. It was quite liberating.
I miss the fact that when you travel, the first question you normally get asked is "where are you from?" Not "what do you do?" or something along those lines. There have been times I've had hour long conversations with people only to leave and realize that we don't even know each others names. As the days went by, I was heaps better at randomly chatting up people and being genuine. Just on the ride to the airport, I had a nice conversation with the other passengers about diving while I was messaging three friends from the boat. It was fantastic, but felt a little sad since I had connected with loads of people over the last two weeks and now had to leave. Luckily, a few will still be around when I return.
Part of me feels a bit bad that I'm not overwhelmed with excitement and happiness about be back home. Honestly though, home doesn't feel the same. Or rather, it feels exactly the same while I'm the one who has changed and it's not quite home anymore. In fact, Cairns feels like my home and the three months I'm spending at home feels like a break and vacation from home - though I'm working heaps more on this portion of my "vacation". Basically, it just feels weird. Part of me desperately wants to tell all of my stories to people, but I know they really only want the cliff notes version before their eyes glaze over. I went through a lot of stuff and had a lot of experiences while their, and people back here at home only know bits and pieces, if they know anything at all. It was my friends abroad who helped my through the tough times and knew what I was going through and laughed with me along the way.
As far as future plans, I'm back home until early September working, then it's back to Cairns. I will start by doing a dive master traineeship and afterward, I may possibly stay on for an instructorship. I will have to sort things out with visas and what not, but I'll cross those bridges when I get to them. I can't wait until I get to go back and see my friends and continue diving and living in Cairns. Hopefully I will get to go to some other cool dive sites on my days off. The next step is to see if I can figure out how to get residency as quickly as possible, then I won't have to bother with silly visas anymore.
Since I will be working all summer, I won't be posting anything until I leave for Cairns again, or perhaps once I am back in Cairns. So, until then, have a great one and I'll see ya'll soon.
Cheer,
-Celina
