I apologize in advance that this may be a bit of a downer post. I have just left my home in Cairns for Melbourne. It's a bit of culture shock going from such a cute, quaint city to a large metropolis. The worst part was leaving my family of friends that I had developed. Sure, it was only 4 people I got really close with, but for me, that is quite significant. It normally takes me awhile to open up to people, but I was able to with them after about a month and a half and I am really grateful for that. The last few days have been rough though. Knowing that one of my good friends was leaving for Bali and that I was leaving for Melbourne the next day was hard. But I'll get to that, I'll talk about some of the happier details of my last week in Cairns. (Though not my last week ever in Cairns, I'm obviously going back).
I finally managed to do the Blue Arrow hike at the Botanical Gardens. It wasn't quite as hard as what I thought it would be and it didn't really take us that long either. About 5 and a half hours round trip, including the one and a half hours to walk there and back and stopping for lunch. It was a good little walk for us though. We even saw a goanna! He wasn't too sure about us though and climbed up a tree as we walked past. I did also manage to get some new ink before leaving Cairns. It's small and shop minimum around here is really expensive, about $100, but with the exchange rate it's not super bad... but still expensive.
A couple of my friends and I decided to take the day on Friday, get day drunk and walk around Cairns getting touristy pictures that we haven't taken yet. It was a blast. We even made a stop at the Woolshed for a couple of jugs of rum and coke. Some food at pie face and a little bit of a rest at the lagoon and our day was fantastic. That would have been a great day to have last forever, but it had to come to an end, as did our time together.
On Saturday, we went to our boss's house to make dreamcatchers. It was good to be crafty again and just hang with the girls. However, there was a moment during the afternoon where I all of a sudden just felt really sad, or scared, or something. It was like a switch had flipped. I think it was finally hitting me that I was really leaving Cairns. Really leaving my new family. It put a damper on the rest of the day for me, and actually left a bit of a cloud around me for the next few days. I had had such a good time in Cairns and actually connected with a great group of people, which I wasn't really sure would happen, and now I had to leave them all. Yes, change is good, but it's also hard.
I bought a going away present for our friend who was leaving for Bali. It was rum and coke. I think I was having trouble dealing with the departure, since I got much more drunk than I intended. Not the fun, talkative drunk, the need to be taken care of, singing into the toilet drunk. I felt terrible. Our last night hanging out and that was what happened to me. However, it did come a bit full circle considering out first night hanging out left me in a similar situation. I had to spend the night on our couch trying to set myself right. I don't think I really got any sleep and in the morning, I basically felt numb as we said out goodbyes. It's strange and terrible to grow so close with someone in such a short amount of time to have them go away and be unsure of when you'll see each other again. Knowing I was leaving the next day and would have to say goodbye to more people didn't make things easier. Packing up all my stuff wasn't fun. I needed a few moments to myself. That was kind of the crappy part, because I needed time to process, but I knew time with my friend family was limited.
On my last night, the girls were really sweet. They bought me a going away cheesecake and got me a card. I just about lost it then and there. It was going to be a long night. We sat in the courtyard drinking for a good while before heading out to the Salt House for cheap drinks. There was a bit of an argument that broke out there and it really put me off. I was already having an off night, being really quiet and retreating back into my shell. They could all see it as well. We decided to have one last night at the Woolshed for $8 jugs and then a nice kebab on the way home. Another argument broke out at the kebab shop and I almost took off for home alone. I couldn't deal with leaving and people arguing all at the same time. Even sitting here in my hostel in Melbourne, I don't think I've fully processed it. I continue to torture myself by browsing through photos of our good times. It might take me a few days to shake it, but I'm sure by the time I get to Adelaide I should be better. After all, we're in the epic adventure part of the journey. Running around and traveling. I will most likely return to Cairns before I depart for home to get my open water diving certification so that I can return in September to complete a dive master traineeship. At least that is the bold plan for now. If that goes well, I can return home the long was and visit my friend family on the way.
I can't believe March is over. I remember thinking when I got to Cairns that 12 weeks or so here would be a long time. This last month, especially since my birthday, has just flew. I know it has to do with the fact that it was about that time that I actually started to be a bit more boisterous and really get to know people around the hostel. I'm so happy that I did and that I didn't just stay the quiet little one. I am so grateful for my core group and I love all of them to pieces. They all make me a better person. And they give me new places to visit! Well, that's about all I can really muster to write about right now. I've got to get ready for some free tacos and for my Adam Hills show! Yay comedy! I'm hoping he'll set me right. He's one of the few things that can lift my spirits no matter what. Can't wait for opening night tonight. Well friends, thanks again for taking the time to read if you did. Sorry it wasn't a bit more entertaining or upbeat this week, but don't worry, I'll have more to tell soon. Hope you all are doing well.
Cheers,
-Celina
