Jack Datisman is Ukrainian by descent. I think he is the second generation born in the U.S. Before I left, he sent me an email with some very sound advice - I know he was thinking about my welfare and I took his words to heart. Jack first warned me that foreign countries are full of foreigners so don't be surprised when everything looks and sounds different. You get the gist of Jack's advice.
However, he did give me some very serious counsel. His Ukrainian babushka (grandmother) warned him very sternly about a Ukrainian curse that goes, "May you be kicked by a duck!" Whoa! That gives one pause for thought. Mind you this is a very serious curse. Jack waxed philosophical about whether a duck could actually kick. And what would it do? Now ostriches are a different story. I've heard that their kick is so powerful it can disembowel a person. What would a duck do? Disem-ankle you or maybe a tall duck might disem-shin you? I guess I didn't want to find out, but I had two occassions in Ijevan to hear Jack's words in my ears and feel shivers down my spine.
The first occassion was when I was in the Botanical Gardens in Ijevan. The gardens were the pride of the city at one time but the hardships of the last 20 years - earthquakes, the pull-out of the Soviet Union and the costly and bloody war against Azerbaijan have made economic recovery very difficult. The gardens have suffered from neglect although they are quite beautiful. The magnolias were blossoming as were other flowers, plum trees and other vegetation. I was at the far end of the park when I heard a very strange sound. At first it sounded like a child in distress. Of course, I started in that direction. Then the sound changed to more of a pig sound. Even though Artsun and I had just been in the wilds yesterday with the danger of feral pigs, I walked even closer. Then, amazingly, the sound changed to a duck-like squawk. Jack's warning ringing in my ears, I moved closer. Of course I moved closer, I want to die a slow death being kicked to ducks in the far corners of Dendro Park in Ijevan.
I finally got close to a puddle of water and there were three frogs. FROGS!!! making these sounds. So I am alive to tell the tale and not only is it hard to understand spoken Armenian, I also can't understand Armenian Frog.
The second occassion was much tamer. As I was walking through the village of Getahovit on my way back to Ijevan after a mountain hike, three geese took exception to my sharing the path with them. I figured that since they weren't ducks and weren't Ukrainian, I would just give them a wide berth and that worked. I'm still alive and kicking. Well, not exactly kicking but at least not being kicked.
Sirem,
Bob
