My theory on M&M's is this:
The orange ones weird me out.
I particularly like the brown ones, the green ones and the red ones. I think it's because I like chocolate, and that I gained a creepily strong passion for Christmas from my mother. I didn't even convert to hating it when I met Amy and I converted to just about everything when I met Amy. Except Thanksgiving. I still hate Thanksgiving, which might explain the orange M&M issue if I actually based my M&M decisions on favored holidays. I guess I might hate Thanksgiving because of orange M&Ms but that's just ridiculous. We all know I hate Thanksgiving because of stuffing.
Anyway, back to the issue at hand.
I miss the tan M&Ms and I don't know why we when we voted for a new M&M that the purple one lost or why we had to get rid of the tan M&Ms. People said it had to do with completing the rainbow one step at a time, but I think that's crap because if we wanted rainbows, we'd eat skittles.
I think if I were Mexican I'd sue Mars for trying to colonize our M&M choices and that replacing the tan M&Ms for blue is, is symbolic of clearing out the Mexicans for "the pure". But that may be because I've been spending too much time in literary analysis classes, that skew everything, including how you view your M&Ms.
My girls say I put too much thought into this. In fact, I have. They are, after all, just small little chocolate chips covered in a thin candy shell.
You never think about M&M's. You just take one (or if you're daring and don't have a problem with the colors clashing in your mouth, a whole handful) and shove them in your mouth and go on your way. You don't think about what's inside (unless they are peanut M&M's whose insides are very in-your-face about it all) and you never even notice that the candy shell is actually WHITE, painted blue or red or what have you.
I think JLo said once in an Off-Hollywood film that she only eats the brown ones because they don't have artificial coloring.
That's silly.
Because even the brown is artificially brown.
Anyway: Bring back the tan M&M!
That is all.
