Australia - Sydney
We arrive in Australia after a 13 hour flight from San Francisco, which was actually not as bad as we thought it would be. We were sat in the middle 4 seats along with two guys, which is always worse as it feels as though there is no privacy or space of one’s own. However there were no noisy or horrid people on the plane and as it was Qantas there was plenty of food and drink and choice of entertainment so it really wasn’t too bad. As it was a night flight many people were asleep for long periods of time too which is always preferable. We land in Sydney around 9am and it is quite bizarre as we have completely lost a day due to the time difference between the US and Oz. We walk through the arrivals and spot Brett and Jo almost immediately. It is so good to see them again we have really been looking forward to it. We don’t actually feel too bad but we know from past experience that the jet lag can kick in later, especially with the humidity and heat so we opt to go back to the house to relax.
As we exit the airport the humidity hits us in our faces like a wet cloth...yuk. Apparently the previous week has been rain and pretty chilly for the time of year and before that it was around 45 degrees. We are praying that is does not get back to that whilst we are around how on earth can one function in such an atmos it’s ridiculous. We drive back to Jo’s house in Balmain and the memories come flooding back of when we were last here as we spot the pretty harbour and surrounds. Balmain is more of a residential shopping area than where Jo lived before at Coogee, and it reminds us of London somewhat. We catch up briefly with Jo and Brett before they go off to do domestic stuff and we have a lie down as the plan is to go out in the evening. Nothing has changed it is just like old times it doesn’t matter how far or how long one is apart from certain people if the special bond is there then it remains.
In the evening we had to a restaurant in the area called the Harvest, a place we visited last time when we were in Sydney - it is a vegetarian restaurant with a very good menu and quality food. We are not disappointed at all and special mention goes to the desserts, most notably the most amazing date (sticky toffee) pudding we’ve ever tasted. We manage to down a good three bottles of wine and head back to the house.
The next day we go for a walk around Balmoral and one of the many bays that Sydney has. We encounter a fair few people doing the same thing and it strikes me that last time I was here I recalled it being very friendly and warm but for some reason I am not getting the same vibe this time. We sit for a while on a beach and observe. Some little blonde kids are chasing the gulls up and down the beach it is very funny to watch. Suddenly though, two of them are running off way out of sight of the carers and Mummy proceeds to walk down the beach shouting “Molly and Sebastian” very loudly numerous times with no response from the tykes whatsoever. Eventually she catches up with them and they are running back, at which point the delightful Molly half squats and pees right there and then through her knickers on the beach. We are all in stitches how very dignified of her Mummy must be so proud. She does see the funny side I suppose you have to when you have them but who’d have them ha ha. That evening we go to another local restaurant called Thai Nood, which is very cheap and has a lot of good dishes but also some mediocre ones (cheap chicken – really what do you expect). Back at the house we polish off yet more wine – Jo and Brett have stocked up the fridge as well as a huge wine rack – there must be over 30 bottles in total! We indulge in a bit of Wii playing – a first for D and I and it is great fun. Tennis, bowling, golf, and dancing are just some of the things to do in the comfort of one’s home. We are a bit sceptical as to the value of the Wii in terms of social interaction, however with four of us taking turns it is a good laugh and very sociable. The next day we all wake up with terrible hangovers but this is going to be the standard for the next two weeks. One night we stay in and play drinking games which involves a game of cards called ‘Dirty Minds’ it is filthy and hilarious. One day we drive to Wanda beach which is absolutely gorgeous and very remote. That same evening we go to an Italian restaurant in Balmain called Fico. It is way over-priced and the food is very average these people do not know what they are missing.
[Oh I forgot to add, afterwards we went to some of the pubs in Balmain and witnessed a horrible scenario involving the Australian police. We were outside in a beer garden and some uniformed cops came in with sniffer dogs and started going around all of the tables and getting the dogs to sniff customers's bags. This isn't news to anyone that has been out in a busy town centre on a Saturday night but this pub was really not the place one would expect to encounter this. Of course the cops are doing their job and respect to that, however, their attitude absolutely stank. People were genuinely surprised and asked (nicely) what was going on, as the dogs went around once, twice, even three times by some people. One guy about 60 was out with family and he asked the young male cop what the crack was, to which he was told that if he did not leave the pub immediately, he would be stung with a $500fine for disturbing the peace, or similar. Absolutely dreadful. This young officer must have been no more than 21, clearly far too much testosterone, and no respect whatsoever for the customers in the pub. To respond in this way was just pathetic and does no favours for police reputation. This reminded us of the olden days when SUS laws were in place in the UK. So we head to another pub in Balmain and we are actually laughing, as the same cops come in (there are about 5 of them) and head off with the dog to sniff out any crim's. Good job we left our stash at home ha ha. The attitude of the cops is the same, dirty looks to anyone who dares to query anything, stony faced the rest of the time, obnoxious. Later on as we are walking home they are standing on the pavement with the dogs (no crim's though), posturing and looking 'ard. Look five o, we know you have a job to do and it's thankless but be nice to nice people and don't treat everyone like a scumbag or people wont like you. Doh!]
The Hunter Valley
On Thursday as a treat for my birthday Jo has booked us into a cottage at Tatler’s in the Hunter Valley. The place is beautiful and it is great having our own space and Brett offers to be the designated driver which is very kind of him. We proceed to have tastings at Tatler’s (wonderful – great staff) the same place where Jo had her hen night and the guy remembers her as she was dressed in hotpants and knee high boots and had a whip! We also visit Tempus II and a couple of others that I cannot remember the name of. We go to another winery restaurant called Chez Pok at Peppers, which is quite pricey with ok food. Not recommended. Especially as the next day we get a phone call accusing us of not paying the bill - when it was actually the incompetence of their staff that meant there was a mix up with the receipts, and then information was not relayed to the manager to state that we had indeed called and settled in full that very morning. Useless idiots. Lastly we head to an Irish pub called Harrigans, which is horrid and full of vacuous townie Aussies, so we have just the one drink then scarper. By the time we return to the cottage we are completely smashed and behaving like utter dickheads, playing football with a wine cork (I win), several games of Connect 4 (I win) and fighting using unsuitable weapons (hot embers from the roaring real fire)! It is the most hilarious night and the next morning we pay for our sins – it’s a good job checkout is not until 12. We have lunch at Tatler’s – great food and service although a bit slow on the actual cooking, then drive out to a golf course at Nelson Bay, where Jo and Brett have been to before. It is a perfect day for it the sun is blazing although with hindsight we should have gone for the carts. I have never played golf and my first few shots are misses, with chunks of the green flying all over the place. Brett and D are way ahead of Jo and I to start with, and we are very slow, kindly letting anyone who is close behind us go through. Well we don’t want them to see how shit we are. It is a lovely green with the added bonus of kangaroos and wallabies leaping about everywhere you could not make this stuff up. They are not phased by the golfers at all and I can’t believe none of us actually hit one. We play eighteen holes and by the end of it Jo and I are catching up and actually playing better than the boys. They are not amused girls can’t play golf! We finish off with a drink in the club, which is full of grannies playing bingo, then drive out to the seaside and eat the most delicious fish (gem fish) and chips, before heading back to Sydney. It is quite a long drive so we pass the time by singing along to Jo’s ipod, which holds delights such as Mark Morrison and really old Kylie stuff, which impresses D no end.
On Saturday we are all shattered so we stay in and the next day we go to Darling Harbour and have a walk around with the tourist masses. We visit the Orbit bar, which is a fabulous revolving bar 49 floors up showing amazing views of Sydney. The next day is my birthday but it’s rather tame as we have done so much drinking recently that it’s just one of those days when it’s just not the right time. D and I go and watch The Reader (good) at some hole of a cinema called Hoyt’s that takes us hours to get to, then go into town. We have a couple of drinks and some food but it’s just not happening for us so we head back. It’s the tamest birthday I’ve had for many years. The next day we stay in as we are going to New Zealand the following day and we have a plan to formulate. We have read up on NZ in the LP and something tells me that we are going to love it!
Melbourne
Two weeks in after NZ, D and I go to Melbourne for a few days and it is very disappointing. Melbourne is a lot bigger than we expected apparently it is the size of London and it sits around a lot of water although it isn’t half as attractive as Sydney. Drivers are rude and people are less polite than anywhere else we have been in Oz it kind of reminds us of London how sad. Our original plan was to go for 5 days and stay with a relative of D’s for a couple of days but we end up staying with them for 4 nights. Matt who is a second cousin of D’s, who he has not seen for 20 years, and Vicky, his wife, are a friendly chatty couple who are still mad on English football. They kindly invite us to a movie night at the kids’ school on Friday but we are not keen. D and I are not getting on particularly well and this does not add to the general opinion of Melbourne. It is clear that our tolerance levels have peaked and it’s really no surprise after spending 6 months together. The next day we head to Chapel Street which is supposed to be a cool part of the city and window shop in boutique type stores and cafe bars. It is a very busy area but it is rather touristy. The weather is so hot and humid and we make the mistake of taking public transport. Live and learn. We head back to Matt and Vicky’s pad, which is a huge place all on one level in a very nice green suburb of Melbourne. Matt has cooked fish and chips and we meet the kids Lucy and Thomas. They are very nice kids and help out with dinner we are impressed. The next day we hire a car and do the Great Ocean Road drive, which is spectacular and well worth the effort. Parts of it are frustrating as there are slow coaches that will not let people overtake and it’s highly annoying. The road is very windy in places and on day one it is rather overcast so not so great. We stop in a little town and have lunch as the drive is around 4 hours. On day two the sun is out and the sea is a gorgeous turquoise and it is stunning. We view the 12 apostles (now only 8 as some have fallen into the sea) and stay in a town called Port Campbell. We have a smart motel room with a balcony and eat some great food in a restaurant around the corner. Next day we drive down to Point something or other as Matt and Vicky have invited us to the parent’s house near the beach. By the time we get there they have finished their activities and so D goes for a quick dip before we head back for a few beers and meet Vicky’s dad, Brian, who compliments me on my nice tan. Ah old school Aussies they’re just so enlightened and progressive. Later on we go to a restaurant nearby, which has rave reviews, and the food is stunning, it’s just a shame the clientele is like something out of an episode of Footballer’s Wives. Back to the house and Steven (Vicky’s brother) has been looking after the kids and they are running around like deranged demons how funny. The next day we go for a walk on the pier then D and I head back into the city to watch a movie. We see the Watchmen and it’s brilliant a very complex and dark movie better than Sin City very long but we got sucked in so didn’t really notice the time. We go back and spend the final evening chatting to Vicky and Matt then the next morning we are woken up to the sounds of the mighty Liverpool thrashing Aston Villa (Matt has recorded it). Although I want the Reds to beat Man U and take the Premiership crown, I don’t want them to do it at the expense of Villa but that’s football. It’s only a game. Grrr. So we say our goodbyes to our hospitable and generous hosts then drive to the airport for our flight back to Sydney.
Back to Sydney
As we have rather overspent we resign ourselves to the next two weeks being quiet and doing activities that don’t cost much. We are painfully aware that we are going to be back in the UK very soon and therefore we have to start looking for jobs, updating CV’s and the like. We also have to plan our trip to Thailand, which we are doing as a last stopover before landing in the UK. Unfortunately we are having to fly there via Japan as some muppet insisted on including Japan on the itinerary despite the obvious fact that it was going to be far too expensive to include. With the RTW tickets, the original destination order has to be stuck to otherwise the price of the ticket has to be re-calculated with extra fees. Given that we have already been screwed by BA we are not up for another beating. So we have a 10 hour flight to Japan with 2 hours to wait for our flight to Thailand. Whoopee-do.
So we chill out at Jo and Brett’s whilst they go back to work. I do lots of research for Thailand and D sees his old mates. On the Friday we head out into town and visit the ‘upmarket’ bars – Loft (gorgeous decor – shit cocktails), Establishment (dreadful cattle market), and Ivy (huge, pretentious, full of gorgeous specimens but also lots of wannabes). We round off with a visit to City Cafe a 24hour place famous for ‘Up the Duff’, a delicious dessert come cocktail. On the Saturday D and I head off to Castle Craig to see Emma (sister of Matt) and her husband Jason, and their completely soppy dog, Kite. Emma is a lovely friendly lady and we feel instantly relaxed and chat away to her and Jason about loads of stuff. It is interesting to see the contrast between the relatives and hear about their different takes on Oz. Emma and Jason are quite scathing about Oz in general and we wonder why they want to live here, especially when we hear tales of finding Huntsman spiders in the car! It’s all about the weather apparently. Anyhow we say our goodbyes to them the next day after taking the obligatory photo’s to show the folks back home, and head off back to Balmain.
The next couple of days are spent doing job stuff then I whinge to Jo that I have not spent any time with just her so she books a couple of days off. We go and watch ‘He’s just Not that into You’ (excellent) in Gold Class, which is fabulous with reclining seats and table service we are very impressed. We go shopping in town – Sydney has a variety of great shops but the prices are extortionate and some of the staff are a bit uppity they could learn a lot about service from the Yanks (stunted, you’ve been tango-ed bitchy blonde bird in Bally take note – you work in a shop. Well done. You’re an inspiration to us all). Later on we go to the Ivy Bar, which has a very different vibe from when we were there at the weekend. A much older crowd full of suits but we don’t mind some of them are very handsome. Live jazz is playing and there are discount cocktails ah this is the life. The next day we go to Birkenhead Point, which has more reasonably priced clothes, and we go a bit mad in the underwear shop on Elle Intimates. Jo buys me a lovely yellow dress as a birthday present how kind. It is great to catch up with Jo there is stuff I can’t believe I never knew about her before what a shocker she has had a hard time and I feel bad as I wasn’t really there for her when she was having a shit time growing up especially in her teens. If you’ve ever been crap like me then read ‘Parents...They F*ck You Up’ by Oliver James and just ring your sibling/s now and have a chat – trust me you will feel so much better. Then in the evening we meet up with the boys and head to Thai Nood and drink far too much wine. Jo and D have a bet on song lyrics to a Tom Jones song and D gets it wrong so he has to wear a dress for the night. He seems to like it rather too much and we are quite perturbed. The next day everyone is feeling rubbish yet again and we feel sorry for Jo and Brett having to go to work.
On our penultimate night we go to Lunar Park in the daytime and go on a few scary ish rides but frankly nothing beats sky-diving. We have a lucky escape on the Pirate Ship style ‘Ranger’ ride, as two shrieking teenagers ask us to swap seats so they don’t have to sit at the end, then the poor young tweenie who they sit next to proceeds to vomit pastel pink sick everywhere at the end of the ride. Tee hee. Later on go to the Strike bowling arena on Darling Harbour. We were a bit thick and did not book a lane but they manage to squeeze us in so that we can have two games. It’s absolutely hilarious I am absolutely shit at it and Jo is brilliant Dylan gets the take its as he is very competitive. We also indulge in some karaoke as we are able to hire a private room for the occasion. It sounds dreadful and tacky but the room is great with plush furniture and low lighting as well as a large variety of music to choose from. None of us can hold a tune particularly well but Brett cannot even keep in time with the lyrics for his songs. It is so funny we are all trashed and make a right fool of ourselves. We also play three games of pool during which D and I beat Jo and Brett in all so some English pride is restored. Just when you thought you couldn’t possibly drink any more wine...we venture out about halfway through the night for some food to George’s – a Mediterranean bar and grill that we went to in our first week. The food is fantastic quality as are the drinks and the ambience there. It is a stark contrast from many places in this area – full of slappers and macho townie dickheads all aggro and bitchy and obnoxious. We stagger out around 2.30 and D and Brett want to go dancing but it is clear that we have all had enough so we hail a cab and go back home. The next day everyone is a bit worse for wear and Jo can barely talk so she clearly wins the prize for best effort at the karaoke. In the evening Brett very kindly cooks us a fabulous barbeque and we manage to have a glass of wine with it - it would be rude not to it’s our last night don’t you know. We are all shattered though and the talk is very subdued why do we inflict this pain on ourselves! Time for a movie then beddy byes as tomorrow we finish off our packing and leave Oz for Asia. Boo hoo. Jo and Brett have been marvellous fun and excellent and generous hosts thank you so much guys you are a fantastic couple and I am going to miss you a lot – see you in NZ at the earliest possible opportunity!
