Guys I'm so sorry I'm so crap now back in the UK and only just uploading this clearly not my thing to write after all! I just hope you can be @rsed to read it still!
Los Angeles
We get a taxi to our hotel which is one of the Super8 Motels in Downtown LA. Prices for hotels in LA are absolutely extortionate so we have really had to scrape the barrel in order not to spend too much. If the place is going to be mediocre anyway what is the point. When we turn up some muppet has allowed someone else to check into the room we booked so we have to wait around for ages whilst they get another room ready. It is the worst I have felt for a long time we really did not have more than two hours sleep and it's horrible. We finally get into a room and it is really vile it is a smoking room and absolutely reeks. However it is the only thing available and we have been told that we will only be charged for one night instead of the two that we have booked so just deal with it. We sleep for a few hours then head into Echo Park, which is a typical just outside of the main area district, a bit run down but with some character and decent small businesses. It is absolutely p1ssing it down not what we expected form LA. We go to a very decent restaurant that serves up good food and great service. Unfortunately this is about as much we are going to see of LA on this trip. We are really having to watch the budget and so venturing into the main bit is not conducive to this. Also it all sounds glam and ott and we are just not in the mood for this we are so over cities at this point and fancy some peace. Saying that we are off to Vegas tomorrow! In any case the next day it is still raining so we are not concerned with beautiful beaches or star gazing. So we head to pick up our hire car from Budget, which is an absolute bargain of a price - $200 for a medium size car for one week including insurance. We pick up a massive Chevrolet Malibu it is certainly not my perception of medium sized but what the hey - we be goin to Vegas baby!
Las Vegas
It takes a long time to drive to Vegas from LA but we are looking forward to the place we have heard so much about. The freeway is busy in parts but after a good couple of hours it is just straight through all of the way no hassle. We know we are going in the right direction as every half mile or so there is an advert for some casino or club in Vegas. We drive past lots of highly uninteresting looking towns and then hit lots of mountainous and desert like vistas. We are in a different state now it is crazy how changeable this place is within miles of the last destination. We get to our hotel called Circus Circus around 6.30pm. The place is absolutely massive and there are kids and teenagers everywhere. Oh dear. The hotel was recommended by a guy in Miami as well as the LP, and it is certainly considerably cheaper than anywhere else in Vegas and I am beginning to understand why. No matter we are booked in now and the rooms are big and spotless, decorated a bit garishly but we will cope. We freshen up and head down to the main area, which is on the ground floor. First we need to eat but there is a huge queue for the restaurant, where the menu looks decent. However for us the food is only the preliminary so we slum it at some fast food burrito place it is pretty dire but we cannot be bothered to head out and find food. The place reminds me of a BK or KFC type place you might find in somewhere like Turnpike Lane in London. Unsavoury looking characters hanging about looking shifty and annoying teenagers. Anyhow out of there and we head to the casino.
It is a cacophony of lights, colours and noise. It is not that busy as parts of it are roped off it is clearly out of season and it seems anything goes. We stand and watch the action at the roulette table. We cannot help but be impressed even though it is so low key and un-glamorous compared to what we expected. There are a bunch of guys all drinking and smoking and they are well into it. They nonchalantly hand over $100 dollar bills in exchange for chips. We gulp - money to burn! The hotel has provided a book of vouchers that we can exchange for chips and discounts of other stuff so we cash in the chips. D is first to go for it on the roulette table and he loses all his massive $15 worth in about 3 minutes flat, betting on a column at a time. The table has a $20 minimum bet and one has to bet a minimum of $4 a time so it isn't that hard although it seems like very bad luck. We stand aside for a bit and watch the other lambs to the slaughter. D swaps some cash for chips and goes for it again - good on him. He soon loses it though and we head off to the bar for a drink. The drinks are quite expensive but if one sits at a table for long enough and spends money then the hostesses come along and take a drinks order. The hostesses really do look rather dreadful as they are massively tarted up but in a completely tacky way with too short skirts and cheap blouses and far too much make up. Circus circus is clearly the ryanair of casinos. We watch a bit of black jack at another table then head out as this place is really not doing it for us. We buy a bottle of brandy from the off licence and mix it with some pepsi that we walk along drinking out of huge plastic staying is at the far end of where it's at and it is beginning to look far more exciting. There are a fair few people about and everyone looks pissed. Hooray! We head into a casino called the 'Venitian'. Wow. It has gondolas on water, huge pillars, goddesses and everything. We are amazed. The casino itself is certainly a lot more glamorous than the one we have visited already. This is more what we expected in Vegas. We saunter about and check out the tables. Bets here are a lot higher and there are people in fabulous dresses and guys in tuxes. Sigh. It is far too pricey but it is still fun to be around. By this time we are starting to feel the effects of the brandy and head to some more casinos. We go to Casino Royale (cheap and nasty), Caesar's Palace (ok), Paris (sacre bleu tres tacky!) and Treasure Island (har har me hearties!). The strip is a lot busier now and it is clear that it is a bit of a cattle market. Also every few feet there are calling cards for the clubs that really don't leave much to the imagination. Interesting. However we are not here for t+a so we carry on drinking and gambling. D is very chuffed to win $30 on the slots in Treasure Island and prints out a voucher so we can return tomorrow and make more. Having consumed 2 half bottles of brandy and some wine and spirits, we are now absolutely trashed and return to our hotel about 4.30am.
We wake feeling absolutely dreadful - it is too late for breakfast and the hotel only does room service until 12pm. How ridiculous. We are in no fit state to leave until about 2pm but we want to see a show later and we need to get some tickets also hunger drives us out. We feel so wounded and sorry for ourselves but we only have ourselves to blame. We go to a cafe on the ground floor but before we can get there we have to walk through the main precinct that has a huge shopping area. It is a nightmare full of cheap clothes shops and sales people demonstrating plastic shite. Also full of teenagers and people that do not have hangovers. I hate them. We eventually get to a cafe that sells breakfast wraps and coffee and indulge. The wraps are delicious it's a shame they fall out everywhere. Feeling slightly more human we feel that we can now go and face the streets. We speak to a lady on reception who tells us that tickets for the Cirque de Soleil show La Reve (the water show) are available for that evening at a discount price of $75 (usual price $125). Hmmm, we think, can we get them cheaper? Probably not but being stupid and hung over we go out for a walk to the discount tickets place that is 15mins walk down the strip. There is a massive queue though so we walk a bit further our heads were clearly not on right. We go a bit further down and I am feeling really awful and time is pushing on so we decide to head back. There is now not much of a queue at the ticket place so we wait and ask the guy what is available. There are a few shows still left including the one we had already been told about. I have been told that the water show is the best one but this guy us selling the tickets at a higher price so we go back to the hotel and buy them there. DOH! What we should have done is bought them earlier and gone back to bed. After a few soft drinks and some food we are still feeling bad so decide that hair of the dog is the only way forward. We have found a hookah bar on the outskirts of the city that also serves Lebanese food. Sounds perfect. We grab a cab and head out there. We walk in and inform the server that we want a hookah pipe but would like to eat first. We then order a bottle of Riesling and a tableful of food of which we clearly will not be able to finish. It is lovely just what we need although the wine is not going down too well. We head for the hookah section, which is at the back of the restaurant. We are informed that there are no tables available and that we will have to wait 45 minutes. We are not pleased. We clearly told them we wanted a hookah and we have to leave in 45 to go to the show. How bloody disorganised and unacceptable. However in true English style, instead of complaining in an assertive and acceptable manner we have a bit of a whinge and head off grumbling. We are very disappointed but we have other plans so we call a taxi and head to the Wyn Hotel which is a huge place with a casino attached. The hotel is very opulent certainly a lot classier than ours and we take our seats in the theatre for the show - La Reve. The theatre is massive and appears more so as it is not packed and in the middle is a stage surrounded by water. The lights dim and out walks a frosty looking woman with a fabulous body in a great red dress. Also out comes her lover in tight pants also with an amazing body. They get into bed and are clearly really happy and stuff as they are accompanied by lovely music. Then an evil demon comes along and steals her away and she is trapped in some underworld. Next comes lots of dancing and amazing acrobatics hanging from ropes by lots of fit young people in and out of water it is pretty spectacular. Although I enjoy the spectacle I am a bit disappointed as I wanted some lyrics and talking but it is all just dreadful cheesy music I suppose the main thing is the dancing however $75 a ticket is a bit steep it is clearly just not my thing. D really enjoys it maybe the girl in the red dress had something to do with this. Afterwards we head back to the casino at our hotel and lose some money playing Blackjack and Roulette. The night before has wiped us out and it takes a lot to feel merry again oh the life of an alcoholic is not a fun one. Then it's off to bed as tomorrow we have a massive drive ahead as we are heading back across to California for our drive up the PCH (Pacific Coast Highway). Our overall opinionof Vegas is that it's incredibly tacky and absolutely brilliant. We would love to return in a bigger group and tart it up it has to be done. If you're going just fork out for one of the better hotels.
D drives for 7 hours and we end up in a hole called Taft that symbolises everything bad about small towns. It is freezing and the locals are all excited as it has not snowed or been this cold here for 10 years, which we find highly amusing. We really are bringing the British weather with us. A night in a motel there and then it is across to Santa Barbara to start the drive - one of the best drives in the USA apparently and one of the top things that I have been looking forward to on the trip. Shame we did not have a convertible for the occasion but we could not justify the cost given our budget is already screwed.
Santa Barbara
Santa Barbara is very pretty and surrounded by hills and greenery. It has a rep for being minted and popular with celebrities so we are expecting a lovely place. The sun is shining although is is rather windy and we head for the main beach. There is a main pier that one can actually drive right down almost to the end of - no need to exit the car just to see the sea! There are not too many people it is clearly well out of season. We walk down the main high street and it is full of boutique and cafe style places and lots of young spoiled looking teenage type brats. There is something a bit fake and wannabe about this place we do not like it at all and we are glad that we have opted to stay in a place called Carpenteria about 10minutes out of town in a perfectly decent hotel that does not charge the premium of being in SB proper. We order Chinese food and retire early - tomorrow is the main part of our trip up 'Big Sur' - supposedly the best part of the PCH drive.
Pacific Coast Highway drive
We set off later than we plan up the famous coast drive and it is a great drive. The road winds in and out hugging cliffs and looking out onto the great Ocean and it is beautiful. We stop at a beach that is populated by huge ugly Elephant seals, whose noses look like funny shaped penises. They smell horrid and make a lot of guttural honking type noises. It is funny to hear and we take lots of pics of the huge bloaters. We carry on driving and stop in a tiny place that I do not recall the name of, which has a great looking restaurant and hotel. However it looks pretty pricey and we want to get closer to San Fran, so we drive on. Unfortunately the sun has set and it is rather dark as we continue our journey so it is no longer possible to observe the fabulous scenery. Oops - plan an amazing drive for a year or more then leave late so that you miss a large part of the fantastic scenery - a bit of poor organisation there. It is getting late so we stop in a town called Monterey, famous for it's canning industry apparently. We buy some Lebanese take out then stay at a motel in the centre it is really just a stopover as we want to get going in the morning to Yosemite National Park before we go to San Francisco.
Yosemite
Ater a massive drive across freeways and down winding roads we arrive on the outskirts of the Yosemite National Park. It's rather colder than we expected it would be and I am slightly concerned as I ditched my holey and well used boots back in Flagstaff as Cali is supposed to be all sunny and warm. Live and learn. We book a room in the Yosemite Bug hostel, a cute rustic little place with patchwork quilts and wooden beams. Also lots of spider webs...eek! It's late afternoon and we want to get to the DOC centre for walk information so we get back in the car and drive there. It takes approximately 45mins and once we have been driving for around 20mins we re shocked to see that there is snow everywhere and parts of the road are quite treacherous. At the sides it is very deep snow in parts it is very weird. We arrive at the entrance to the Yosemite and pay the entrance fee to the Mounties in the hut. They look just like one would expect them to like something out of Fargo and are very friendly. Anyhow we get to the DOC centre and pick up some info then go to the supermarket for some supplies. By this time it is dark already and it's like being on a different planet. We are told that the forecast is lots more snow for that evening so some routes will be closed. We go back to the Hostel and decide to eat there as the LP has stated that meals are very good. And they are - we eat some delicious soup and main courses and are stuffed. Then it's off to bed for some sleep although I keep waking up thinking about spiders so not the best night's sleep I've ever had.
The next morning we lie in so we miss breakfast but luckily we have plenty of stuff to keep us going so we get some lunch from the hostel, hire some snow shoes, then drive into the park. It is absolutely spectacular it has snowed lots and there are 3 - 4 feet of it in parts although the roads are not too bad. We are completely surrounded by huge trees, sheer cliff faces and waterfalls. It is very sunny so beautiful and peaceful too as it is out of season so there are not too many tourists about. The tourists that there are seem to drive a few hundred metres, get out of the car and take pics then drive to the next point. Are you serious! This is good though as it means the walks are going to be less populated. The one we want to do is closed off so we head to an easier one and put on our snow shoes. All I have on my feet are sealskins (waterproof socks) and ballet style pumps - just he kind of footwear one needs when walking in 3 foot of snow! What a dipstick but once I put the snow shoes on I feel like a proper hiker. We set off on the trail and it is going uphill to a view where one can see amazing views of two of the mountains. There is no-one else about and it is so funny walking in the shoes like Mr Soft it is really hard work. We see a sign that states 'you are now entering the wilderness, you may encounter wildlife' [bears, mountain lions, inter alia] - how exciting! It is absolutely still the sun is blazing and everywhere is covered in snow. There is only one path - nowhere to run if one does encounter a hostile! About an hour in we are starting to get tired and it is a fact that we are not going to make it to the 1st viewpoint, as the estimated time is 4hours without dodgy weather! We have had an absolute ball throwing snowballs, building snowmen and looking out for scary creatures, which we unfortunately did not encounter.So we are happy to head back - the feet are starting to ache with the cold as there is only so much a pair of sealskins can do. We get back down in less time and are very glad that we made the effort to come all of the way here as the place is outstanding and so very different from everywhere else that we have been. We vow to come back for a longer period this amazing state really does have it all. We have around a 4hour drive ahead of us across to San Francisco.
San Francisco
We arrive in San Fran around 7pm. As we get within a few miles of SF and drive across the Golden Gate Bridge, it strikes us how much faster people are driving compared to the rest of the US and how many more flash cars there are. It reminds us of Landan - wahey! We drive to Lombard Street, where according to the LP there are supposed to be lots of motels. We drive down it and hit a dead end. The streets are so steep it is ridiculous brakes here must have to be replaced every 6months. We drive back onto a main road and opt for a hotel that is pricier than what we wanted but we are knackered and don't fancy going on a mission to save a few dollars. The area is buzzing and reminds us of student type places from Uni days. The hotel inside is much nicer than we expected and we are very pleased. I doubt there'll be any spiders in here! We head across the road to a curry house where we are served average food by apathetic Eastern Asian staff. There are pool tables in the place and it is full of pissed young people who seem very excited to be out. Being over 30 we head back to the hotel for a nice relaxing night and sleep. We are woken in the early hours by piss heads shouting outside, and other guests obtaining ice from the ice machine which is right outside our room. Still the bed is huge and comfy and we are right in the town centre so peace and quiet we were not expecting.
The next morning we have breakfast in Starbucks and head to a place called Fisherman's Wharf, which is a famous bit of SF where all the tourists go to. It is shit. Trashy cheap shops and annoying large groups of people taking photos of themselves standing under the sign indicating that they are in one of the tackiest areas that SF has to offer. Well done tourists. Later on that day we go to Kevin's house. Kevin is a guy we met in the Galapagos and got on very well with. He kindly offered us the flat to stay when we went to SF but way back in time so one can never be sure whether an offer like that is genuine, but it turned out to be and was an amazing experience. The flat is beautiful and absolutely huge, with hard wood floors and a show home kitchen. We have our own bathroom and are free to come and go as we please. We meet Susan, Kev's gorgeous wife, and Stuart, their soppy giant dog. The first night we head out to a local Italian restaurant, where K&S are regulars. It is quite pricey but the service is good however the food is not that great. Funny but we have not had great Italian food since we've been away yet in the US we would have expected to be the best. K&S live in an area called Pacific Heights and it is lovely very much like Hampstead in London, with boutique type shops and lots of eateries. Afterward we go to a bar on the high street called Henry's. It's pretty quiet considering it's a Friday night but it gets packed later on. It is ok it reminds us of London a bit nothing special with way over priced drinks. We get pretty drunk and head back to K&S's, they are in bed as they have proper jobs and everything and are Friday night tired. Haven't felt that for a while.
The next day D and I go to the big famous park in SF. We have a map and it all looks very green and fabulous but when we get there we find that there are roads all the way through it. These yanks really don't like walking. It is quite busy and there is an exhibition on in one of the buildings but the queue is massive and it's not free to get in. The park has many other attractions too such as a Japanese garden, plant warehouse and boats for hire. Everything is a ker-ching moment though and we are not impressed. We are going to take out a boat but then it starts raining so we sack that one off. According to LP a cool area of SF is called The Haight, which is not far from the park so we head there. It reminds us of Camden in London, as it is alternative with loads of indie/goth types walking about. The place is packed and we struggle to find a bar that isn't standing room only. We have decided that this is the only way forward as we have hangovers that are not going away. Eventually we find a pub that is blasting rock tunes and sells beer so we have a couple in there and walk further on. We go into another bar that is a bit more sophisticated unfortunately it is Valentine's day so the place has been decorated in hearts and roses and the like but we are not staying. We chat to he bar woman, who is from Glasgow and has lived in the States for many years. She still has a very strong accent and gives us extra shots in our drinks as we are from 'back home'. Very nice of her but we are now a bit pissed and have a spat over when to leave. Kev is cooking for us and D wants to get there at precisely the time he said we would be back for but I think taking it easy is the way forward. So we leave the bar and get a taxi back. Kev cooks a lovely white wine sauce dish and we finish off a few bottles of wine. It is great to catch up with Kev he really is an awesome guy - very entertaining but intelligent too - and married to a completely fantastic woman too don't you just hate them!
On the Sunday Kev drives us all to the famous wineries of SF - Napa and some other one I can't remember the name of. All of the wineries charge for tastings - around $10 - $15, and this money is not refunded even if one purchases some wine. We had a good day it was a laugh but with hindsight the whole charging for tastings is a big rip off. The amount of wine given is paltry and the wineries must make huge profits from it. At the time we did not mind but after visiting the Hunter Valley in Oz, and Marlborough in NZ, where wineres do not charge, it seems like a massive tax on genuine enthusiasts. Boycott the rip off swines!
The next day we take a walk down to SF Bay, and see some Sea Lions begging for food at the pier. They are very cheeky and know how to entertain the stupid tourists in order to get food. Later on we go to a veggie restaurant as recommended by LP but when we get there we see that it doesn't have booze it is a zen type place. Tsk. So we go to an Irish gastro pub instead and have some great food there. Walking through this part of town we notice that there a a lot of mad people about it is rather unsavoury and a rather different side of SF than we have seen from where we have been so far. It seems to have a large abundance of people begging and hanging out looking up to no good it is certainly no worse than NY for instance, but because there are not many other people about we feel a bit intimidated. We head over to a comedy club but unfortunately it is almost at the end of the show we have left it too late as earlier on our priority was cider and good food. Darn. So we head back home and watch a couple of films instead oh the exciting life on the road we are leading. The next day we go to the cinema in town and watch the re-make of Friday the 13th. It is absolutely dreadful. We were kind of expecting it not to be great but it really does tick all the cliche boxes - gratuitous t+a - check, horror porn style violence - check, complete lack of intelligent film making - check. It doesn't help that there are some drongos sat nearby, and every time a 'scary' bit is building up, one of them repeats 'uh oh' like a frightened three year old. Anyhow the joke is soon over and we leave the cinema slating the diabolical film clearly made for over-sexed teenagers and ole pervs.
The next day we go to a part of SF that has a number of boutique shops but we are only window shopping having completely blown our US budget into oblivion. We cook curry for Kevin & Susan it is to be our penultimate night farewell as the next evening we are flying out to Sydney. It has been a great end to our time in the US it has been so relaxing to be able to stay in a wonderful flat and cook our own food and we are very grateful to Kevin and Susan for this. We are also very sad to be leaving SF as it means an end to our time in the US and we have really loved it here. The Yanks have been so friendly and helpful and entertaining and the place is just indescribable in terms of its beauty and variation. We vow to come back and spend more time here - there are many more states that we have not been to yet and one could easily spend a year here travelling around. We will just have to pray for a stronger pound! We say farewell to our hosts and we get a taxi, driven by a knob who does not know what he is doing, to the airport. (One annoying thing about SF is that most of the taxi drivers are idiots who drive dangerously and grunt a lot.) Although we are sad to be leaving the US we are very excited to be going to Oz to spend time with Jo and Brett - hasta la victoria siempre!
