Ever since I bought myself this new Mac, I don’t think much of theater anymore. Or books for that matter. Or tv. Or cinema. Or the company of people. Aah, this device. I must say it’s a divine invention. First of all I’m saving the cost of a ticket. And not only the price of any theater ticket, but the legwork too. Furthermore, I’m saving all the headaches about which theater I should choose, cause I’ve got all the choice I need on my screen. Isn’t this awesome?
Like totally. But please do carry on.
I’m also saving shaving in the evening, cause I don’t really need a shave to be glued on my screen at home. I don’t even need to put on any clothes, shirts, socks, fresh underwear. I save all these. Isn’t this brilliant?
Marvellous. But do carry on.
I’m saving my trips, the cost of fuel to the theater an back. And not only that I save the cost of a taxi or bus or any other means of public transportation, but I also save all the ordeal that comes with traveling. I don’t need to stand on a crowded metro, I don’t need to stand in the rain trying to wave off an available taxi. Au contraire I’m sitting quite comfortably on the sofa in my pajamas, watching Eugenie Grandet on my brand new Mac. Isn’t this an amazing thing?
Just grand. But carry on.
I’m saving my wardrobe. I don’t need to wear a jacket, I don’t need to sew on new buttons, my shirts don’t get creased, cause they’re all hanging peacefully, whilst I’m hanging out over here on the sofa, in my pajamas, with a growing beard watching Ebenezer Scrooge in the Christmas Carol. Isn’t this a comfortable thing?
Cozy indeed. Carry on.
I’m saving coffee, sparkling mineral water, pretzels during the interval. Not only the cost, but also the effort that it would take to acquire them. While the theater audience is queuing impatiently in the hall, I’m on the sofa, with a long beard, with my pajamas on, pack of Pringles in my lap, my jacket and shirts crisp and clean in the wardrobe...free of charge. Isn’t this sensational?
Very thrilling. And then?
Hmm. Nothing else. Is this not enough?
You mister are an idiot.
Why am I an idiot?
Cause I have developed your technique. I have done what you have done for many years, but then I have realized something.
Do specify.
I’ve sold my Mac, thus I’m saving all the effort to stare at theatre plays or anything else for that matter. Nowadays I’m just sitting in a corner, platting my beard.
