Those who know me know how much my dog Leo was the love of my life.
Finding him in North Carolina 15 years ago was one of the most exciting things that every happened to me. He was a special dog and he was the center of my universe until January 2012 when I had to make the decision to put him down. Leo just couldn't get around anymore on his back legs. He would drag himself across the room with his back legs behind him just to greet me when I came in the house. He got me through two extremely painful times in my life and he never let me down.
Some people understand the love you can have for a dog while others just think "its a dog" -- and it's ok which ever type of person you are -- but just know this -- there are some of us humans that have an unexplained connection to dogs. We are a unique bunch and we stick together when our animals get hurt, are suffering or are lost.
In alot of ways, putting Leo down was one of the greatest experiences of my life. We did it on our terms, spending his last day at the beach watching the birds fly, laying under his favorite palm tree in the front yard, eating steak and Frosty Paws as his last meal, and being able to hold him in my arms, in the warm sunlight in our home while Dr. Jen put him down. Holding him for his last breath on Earth was such an elegant and peaceful experience that I didn't expect. He assured me in those last breaths that I was doing the right thing for him and I will cherish that memory as long as I live.
I share this with you because Leo loved feathers. He would bark and play with them on the beach, in our yard, anywhere he found a feather he could pick it up, throw it in the air and bark at it -- it was one of his favorite "toys". I would watch him in wonder and think how happy a simple feather could make him, even with all the expensive toys and gadgets I had bought him over the years. Just a simple feather was all it took to make him happy.
When Leo died I broke down and luckily my parents were renting their winter condo in my beach community. I stayed in their guest room for a few days just crying, sleeping and doing everything I could to move forward. I had just lost the love of my life. With time it got better but I think of him everyday. And he is still with me because of the feathers.
You see, since Leo passed I find feathers everywhere I go. One day I was working in my dining room, sitting at the table and out of nowhere a small feather landed beside my hand. I gasped and felt a chill come across my body and knew it was from Leo. He was telling me it was all going to be ok and to keep moving forward. I saved the feather and put it in the corner of one of his picture frames. It was the first of many feathers he would leave me.
Driving in my car with the window open, and in comes a feather; walking down the street to Starbucks and at my feet - a feather; sitting on my back patio at sunset and down comes a feather to rest on my foot; even as I travel across Europe I find the feathers. Just the other day I went outside on my balcony to look at the sunset and found a feather.
If you haven't read the book "Heaven is for Real" by a 5 year old child and his parents, go out and find a copy and read it. Its an amazing story about this young boy's experience in going to heaven during an illness/accident and it's amazing to read and have your heart well up with hope, joy, inspiration and love. It also tells us that there are dogs in heaven, waiting for us to be reunited with us. I am crying even now as I type this to you because as much as I love living on this beautiful Earth I would be lying to you if I told you I could wait to get to Heaven to see Leo again.
The thought of seeing, holding and kissing my Leo is something that fills my heart with joy and hope. I can't wait to see him running and playing with his feathers in heaven -- but until then I keep moving forward and remembering the life lessons he taught me along the way.
He tought me to find joy in the simple things. They are all around us and don't cost us anything. Find love in the memories you are creating today with your friends, family, sons, daughters and animals in your life. Cherish each day as if it is your last because we never really know when our last day will be here.
I wish our dogs didn't have to leave us so soon with an average life span of 10-15 years but really they don't take as long to earn their "wings".
Love your dog and those you cherish the most in this world as they deserve to be loved -- and enjoy the feathers they bring you everyday.
With love,
Amy
