It has been 8 months since I bought that blue Gatorade and bag of Doritos at the gas station down the street from my apartment here in America. 8 months since I arrived back. That is one of the small things you notice. Describing were you live with the country bit attached. It seemed to redundant to even think of putting in before. But that has changed. I remember being blown away by that Gatorade, so sweet, so chemical, it took me a while to get used to the food here again. So much flavor, so much sugar. Everything tastes like sugar! Its annoying.
The last time I was in Texas for this amount of time my travel budget was complete and I was hitting the road heading for Michigan. I'll have to sheepishly admit that my backpack is still propped up next to my bed in the corner. Its like I have set the clock for my natural traveling habit. Well, I wish I could call it a habit. Maybe one time was all it took. Maybe that is why I have chosen to re-visit my travel blog and write. A lot happened that I never put in here. Some things, were just for me, and maybe I'll piece out the parts I'll share with anyone who happens to stumble across this little travel blog.
I don't like being back. Its the same feeling. Like complacency and comfort are dwelling just around the corner. Waiting for me to settle into this life. But thats my problem, it always has. I have never been willing to settle. If I was, I would be in college right now, about to graduate, with a degree that would suit me well. But I remember walking around Tokyo knowing how disappointed with myself I would be if I did not make it there. And that's what I have to remind myself of. I'm not a “manga fan” really. But there is one story in partiality that really captures me. “Solanin”, I see a lot of myself in the characters and when it comes my goal, it really comes to keeping Taneda alive, to get what I mean you'll have to read it ;)
I still make routine trips to the book store, even tough I don't know why I'm going. And I'll end up in the travel section. Picking up books leafing through them and wondering with a distant wish how much the plane tickets are, and how the air smells there. I fight off the urge to get online and check for the cost of tickets about ounce a week. And I typically lose a nights sleep over it. This is one of those nights.
Its not that I had some great mystical experience while I was away, or that there is something that I am searching for. But its when I came back I was able to have a new perspective on life. In other words. It wasn't that when I was gone I saw big things. But when I came back I saw little things with new meaning. And I crave that!
