A little time to think.

8 months later....

koudee — Sun, 9 May 2010 14:33:00 GMT

It has been 8 months since I bought that blue Gatorade and bag of Doritos at the gas station down the street from my apartment here in America. 8 months since I arrived back. That is one of the small things you notice. Describing were you live with the country bit attached. It seemed to redundant to even think of putting in before. But that has changed. I remember being blown away by that Gatorade, so sweet, so chemical, it took me a while to get used to the food here again. So much flavor, so much sugar. Everything tastes like sugar! Its annoying.

The last time I was in Texas for this amount of time my travel budget was complete and I was hitting the road heading for Michigan. I'll have to sheepishly admit that my backpack is still propped up next to my bed in the corner. Its like I have set the clock for my natural traveling habit. Well, I wish I could call it a habit. Maybe one time was all it took. Maybe that is why I have chosen to re-visit my travel blog and write. A lot happened that I never put in here. Some things, were just for me, and maybe I'll piece out the parts I'll share with anyone who happens to stumble across this little travel blog.

I don't like being back. Its the same feeling. Like complacency and comfort are dwelling just around the corner. Waiting for me to settle into this life. But thats my problem, it always has. I have never been willing to settle. If I was, I would be in college right now, about to graduate, with a degree that would suit me well. But I remember walking around Tokyo knowing how disappointed with myself I would be if I did not make it there. And that's what I have to remind myself of. I'm not a “manga fan” really. But there is one story in partiality that really captures me. “Solanin”, I see a lot of myself in the characters and when it comes my goal, it really comes to keeping Taneda alive, to get what I mean you'll have to read it ;)

I still make routine trips to the book store, even tough I don't know why I'm going. And I'll end up in the travel section. Picking up books leafing through them and wondering with a distant wish how much the plane tickets are, and how the air smells there. I fight off the urge to get online and check for the cost of tickets about ounce a week. And I typically lose a nights sleep over it. This is one of those nights.

Its not that I had some great mystical experience while I was away, or that there is something that I am searching for. But its when I came back I was able to have a new perspective on life. In other words. It wasn't that when I was gone I saw big things. But when I came back I saw little things with new meaning. And I crave that!

My first time in a...

koudee — Fri, 14 Aug 2009 01:34:00 GMT

A electric tingle shot down my fingers as I rolled the choice over in my mind. What would happen if my parents found out!? "Its japan, no~one has to know.". I felt the anticipation reach across my gut and tighten. "You’re growing up" Well...I guess it wouldn’t hurt to just go in. "Everyone has a guilty pleasure"

I tried to force the guilt out of my mind as I skimmed through the door, getting as far away as I could before someone looked my way to see who had come in. A couple of men near the door smoking cigarettes didn’t bother lifting their heads from the shared conversation and I felt a relief as I faded into the dimly lit room. I wove my away around people and across empty spaces on the floor keeping my head down, looking for a place to lay low. I spotted a vending machine near an empty table and took a seat, involuntarily noticing the distinct aura the ashtray at the table seemed to be emitting. I got myself a drink and let my eyes adjust to the dark. In moments my eyes fixed on the opposite corner of the room.

Encased in bright neon the smooth pale curves reflected every hue, dancing in the alternating light show. I was transfixed. I felt the excitement reach down my neck and across my back, a quick shiver down my spine. I couldn’t stop smiling. Gundam P.O.Ds! (panoramic optical display) I took minute to finish my milk tea, and take in the scene. Japanese people from all stages, from t-shirts to business suits hammered madly away at arcade machines, Tekken, Virtual fighter, and even more I had never seen before. I walked casually towards the terminal and tried to look like what I was doing. I got my coins exchanged and attempted to figure out how to use the POD. After watching a Japanese man use it, he helped me get my pilot card, and I walked into the machine for the first time. The din of the arcade faded away as I seated myself inside the shell. I slipped in my card and deposited my 500 yen coin. Holding the twin joysticks was a childhood dream come true!

The display in front of me was a screen that came a full 360 degrees around, and reached in a arc to my left and right, like a bubble cut in half. It flashed to the menu screen and gave me a quick tutorial on piloting the virtual mobile suit. And then, my first game.

I tried my best to catch the Japanese instructions, but most of the controls I had to figure out on my own. I piloted my Zeon MS down a cliff and landed in the field below. "The match isn’t anything like I saw on the terminal...this must be a newbie match! 4 vs 4" I struggled to get my boosters working, and skimmed across the surface to find my first victim! I rounded a building and found two Federation Msuits occupied with a teammate. I smashed into them with my melee weapon. I could hear my cousin Leon’s voice when we were floating the river, making fun of the twins on the old GI joe movie. "We are getting attacked...FROM BEHIND!" The first two matches had me feeling pretty confident. I managed to receive a B class ranking. I slipped another 500 yen coin into the machine, "Why not?". The next two matches were 6 vs 6, the real deal!

I charged towards the Federation base, keeping an eye on the radar. I spotted a loner heading my way. I took a position on the cliff and began firing down. "Get the jump on em, keep moving forwards, all you have to do to win is get them to regroup first, then you take advantage of their retreat. That is what I learned from all my brothers advice at war games" He slipped under the overhang and I lost my visual. "Dang, he is either smart, or doesn’t know what he is doing." I waited for him to come up the cliff, but nothing happened, I spotted him running the left side on the radar. "Got ya," I jumped down, and took advantage of his exposed back, firing several rounds into his suit. "Dangit, he has an advanced model! That isn’t a normal federation mobile suit! Its not that he didn’t know what he was doing, the cliff was to high for him to boost it." I Boosted forward and hit him with my melee weapon, I saw him switch to his laser blade, "Oh, no you don’t!" He lunged forward and got ready to take a swing. I hit the twin boosters and soared upward "Death from above!" I gave him more rounds from my gun!

At this point, my inner geek was metaphorically streaking the neighborhood block like after eating the worm.

A few more shots!

"There goes your shield!"

He switched to his gun, "Now its my turn!" I came in close and landed a few with my melee weapon, knocking him over. I watched the sparks fly across his suit as he started taking heavy damage. He switched again, and came at my side landing a few hits that knocked me over! I got up and back peddled hitting the boosters for more space, I switched to my gun and unloaded, and felt every geek gene in my body cheered as he exploded!

I whispered at the top of my lungs, sure in the safety of the pod sure no one would hear me "That’s what you get for rebelling against Zeon! I returned to my comrades, safety in numbers to finish the fight. My suits low health was picked out and I got taken out quickly. But I came back with a vengeance the net round at respawn!

I slipped out of the pod after 4 matches, some good, some bad, and started toward the terminal in a unexpected daze. I inserted my pilot card and upgraded my Mobile Suit with my hard earned points, and started thinking of a better strategy for next time. "Best to increase mobility and attack first, I’ll use a high defence Suit so I’ll have a well rounded fighter, then I’ll work on specialized Suits"

I gave a few 10 year old kids some high fives on my way out, after all I was one of them now, a real man!

I took to the streets of Tokyo with a renewed sense of ardor. With my pilot card tucked away in my wallet I was part of something bigger than myself, part of a invisible, but massive army of complete hopeless fans. But its okay, all that "wasted money" will come in handy when the fight against the apocalypse comes to rely on giant robots, we will be ready.

A Barbarian in the "Land of the gods"

koudee — Tue, 28 Jul 2009 09:32:00 GMT

Japan is having an effect on me, frankley its turning me into a woman. Never before in my life have I worried about how my outfits "works" with my skintone, the length of my facial hair, if I smell pretty, or have the urge to wash my, comb, blow-dry my hair 3 times a day.

Since I have arrived its been a challenge to find food, because for the most part it has been a guessing game of what store will accept my card, I finally found one just down the street, so I'm not starving anymore! (It was 4 days after my plane landed that I could eat!)

I'm laying low in my apartment today. Enjoying some private time while my room mate is away. We don't talk much...I only know two words of Chinese, and I think he knows less than that in english haha.

Japanese food is the best stuff I have ever eaten in my life! Its so clean tasting! I find it interesting because I know most of my friends in the states would complain that it was "tasteless" or "bland" but thats the point! yes, you could add another 4tb of salt, oil, and fry it so it would "taste better" but it doesn't have that, thats the point! The Mini stop sells juices...the best I have ever had, and mixing them with the tap water is the perfect solution. That is one thing I miss, not food, but water. I'm used to buying a gallon for a buck, here its two liters for 5$. When I get back to the states I'm going shopping for ozarka water, and lemonade! When I come here next year I'm going to bring all the gatorade mix I can carry!

Btw, In case you are wondering, I labeled my trip as "Japan, Ash Like Snow", Its because I found this song by "Brilliant Green", and for some reason I just really connected with it.

My toe is healing fine, I took the stitches out a few days ago, and I'm happy to report that my fever decided to quit. It flared up during my flight, and lasted the next two days

=Smile & sigh=, I'm just going to keep my more personal observations in my journal, so you guys are going to have to deal with the shallower side of all this,

Take care.

A final day to pack.

koudee — Tue, 21 Jul 2009 05:54:00 GMT

I am A day away from getting onto my planes to reach Japan. In all honesty I should be packing, but I am counting on a restless night of no sleep to get me through it. I have slowley been trying to get my body used to longer nights and late mournings, just to get a new head start on the time change.

My stay in Michigan has finally re-connected long lost ties with my family, and now that I have gone through all the effort to see them again I am going to do my best to periodically get on facebook and talk to everyone, or e-mail. Its okay, that just means that I'll have a lot of stories to tell when I get back.

One flustrateing thing I have realized while preparing to leave is that no matter how unrelyable you think you might be sometimes, you often know what is best for you. You have to be willing to go to yourself for an anwser sometimes, and not allow someone to change that. Even if Advice is good, it doesn't mean you have to take it!

Despite dropping a 4lb hatchet on my big toe, I am still catching my flight! This means that I will be keeping my ticket to japan, and not wandering into Mongolia just yet.

But Oh,OH how I can't wait for Mongolia.

I wont accomplish everything on my first trip, and one thing for sure is that I'm going to have an interesting life intertwined with travel.