as you may have read (or not read) the transition here has been tough for me. then again, it usually is the first few days/ weeks. i received some amazing emails from people who gave me some great advice:
"give yourself time. you've just leaped from one world into a far different one. spending time within waiting for new direction from your spirit will help"
"Eleanor Roosevelt said we should do something every day that scares us"
And im glad i did give myself this time. last night Rhiana and I spent our last night together since she just left to go to the beaches near Lima. At 3 AM i woke up with a hacking cough and i felt a repeat of what happened to me in San Francisco (woke up in middle of the morning to find i couldnt breathe and i felt like my throat was closing up on me.. went to the ER and was put on a ventilator for pnuemonia) so this time i decided not to wait any longer. best part is, i called the local clinic and they make house calls! so by 4 in the morning a peruvian doctor dressed in his nines (what does that mean exactly?) came knocking on the door. something about the door of the apartment though.. it locks from both the inside and the outside and some drunken lunatic decided to make him and his friends laugh last night and locked us in from the outside! thankfully the doctor was at the door and helping us to open it!
anyway.. he checked my chest, head, throat etc and said that while im fine now, because i didnt take the flu vaccine there is no telling if it will get worse. he gave me antibiotics and 4 more meds (which im not taking) and it call came to $59! of course he didnt ask me if i was allergic to any medications or my history of illness.. but hey, you cant have everything!
so i woke up this morning and for the first time i feel really at peace. i feel content being here right now and im finally falling into place and i am ready to do some inner work. the weather has changed drastically sicne the whole MP fiasco and while it still rains in the evenings it is absoultely beautiful during the day. im settled in my heart and my mind and im ready for what lays ahead. i am now comfortable knowing that i will be here for the next 30 days at least. tonight i meet with my vipassana group and i start practicing yoga again as well as studying spanish and learning to play the drums. (there are a LOT of loungey clubs here with live music every night so i asked one of the guys who works there the best person for teaching drumming so he will get me the info)
im still not sure what im doing here except i know its to allow myself to explore feeling at peace. other thoughts that have come to me in the past few hours was that i really do love america and americans and what it has to offer and that i dont need to be here or anywhere else for that matter.. but i still havent yet started the real work.. the tough stuff is just about to come!
