1/30/14
It's nearing the end of my time here in Raglan and I must say that it has been a rejuvenating experience. There has been difficult times and good times, highs and lows. Points of overwork and complete boredom, but all together it has been a rejuvenating experience. I would almost say that my time here has been closer to a holiday than WWOOFing work. A necessary vacation that I needed to clear my head and to do a deep check in with why I am in New Zealand.
Raglan has been really cool, but here I am mowing lawns, cleaning rooms, running errands, little things here and there. The work is easy and the surf is great, but Raglan gave me an opportunity to to ask myself “Why are you here Joe? Really. Why did you come on this trip?” So I kept checking in with my intention. I came here to learn how to live sustainably, to be able to show and teach others these practices and to have deep, profound, experiences with as many people as I could. To open my eyes to their experience and to open theirs to new perspectives. Solscape gives me the opportunity for the latter but not really the former.
Raglan is a destination spot, many of the jobs here are service jobs, bartender, barista, waiter, cook, those kinds of things. I think that it would be really cool to live here but I know that I want to contribute more than that. I think that the community of Raglan has got a lot to offer tho. I could definitely see myself coming back and getting more involved here, but not yet. I think I have to leave and come back, that will be good for me.
At each place I've traveled I've learned something new. Here in Raglan I would have to say that one of the deepest lessons I've learned, or maybe I should say the most potent reminder Raglan has given me, is the temporary nature of EVERYTHING. Surfing is a great teacher of this. The temporary nature of a good wave, or a bad wave, a long ride or a short ride, or even the surf itself, is there swell happening that day. Sometimes you get smashed by the surf, or you cannot catch a wave, other times everything is perfect, but it will never, never, be the same experience twice.
Staying at a backpackers here has given me new perspective on the temporary nature of relationships as well. You form deep, deep friendships with some of these people, and then you have to say goodbye to them. Everyone knows from the start that time is short so no one really plays games or holds back, everyone is really honest really quickly and deep friendships can form in an evening. This kind of setup lends itself to deep shared experience. But now that its approaching the time to go its like “Well that was amazing, good luck, lets try and keep in touch, and be safe. Goodbye.” This happens so often that you can't really be sad about it, or you will never get over it and your not likely to keep traveling. The same happens with people anywhere. In the “real world” people grow apart over time, maybe months or years, but things change and we loose touch. Here that same thing happens but it is in a condensed amount of time, maybe a matter of weeks or days, and sometimes it seems like it is forced, like your not ready for it.
All this together is a potent reminder that All things are temporary. Our bodies, our homes, our thoughts, feelings, emotions, memories, expectations, our good days and our bad days. All the things we've done or will do, eventually will be lost in the incomprehensible vastness of time. Even the earth and our solar system will not exist forever. In this temporality we have the wonderful opportunity to see beauty and humor NOW, in every experience that arises, even the shit ones. To bring our full Awareness to the NOW and fully comprehend every single moment, Every. Single. Moment. Each is completely unique and will never exist again like this. To realize that the bad times AND the good times will fade. This is the challenge that I face; to bring equanimity to both the good and the bad experiences. To not get lost in bliss when things do go my way and to not let some unfortunate event ruin my day or my mood. To find balance in that middle. To bring calm and tranquility to the turbulent ocean that is our thoughts and emotions. Or at least keep a Buddha smile as you ride the pulsing wave of the universe, the ups the downs, the good and the bad.
I think that this Buddha smile is a good representation of that which is changeless. That despite the temporal nature of all these things, our thoughts about them, or feelings, our memories, there is something that seems to have some kind of permanence. Some kernel within this experience that permeates the entire universe. Perhaps this kernel is our Awareness, our Consciousness. The fact that each of us has the ability to be fully Aware of things like happiness, sadness, temporality, pain, and yet have the opportunity to not identify with these things but to simply be Aware of them, NOW. To observe them. To feel sadness but to say “I am not sadness” to feel fear, hate, happiness, ecstasy, to know that these things are not permanent, but part of something permanent. I am a tall, skinny, white kid from small town Nebraska who goes through ups and downs like everyone else, but I know I am more than all these things as well. What is this? Where does this Awareness come from? Who observes the observer? I think these questions have different answers for everyone, but ask them of yourself and see what comes to you. And don't forget to smile and have a sense of humor about it, everything’s temporary anyway right? ;)
