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Diego and Jose's tequila tour!

Border Crossing, Tijuana.

MEXICO | Tuesday, 14 July 2009 | Views [932]

Hope this doesn't happen in Tijuana...

Hope this doesn't happen in Tijuana...

We`ll pick up where we left off. Waking up at 6am, mildly hungover (this was gonna change) and stumbling around getting ready to go get the bus to Mexico...

TIJUANA

What a lovely place this is. The guidebook describes it as an "outlaw`s paradise". It may be better described as an immigration nightmare. We were just settling in on the bus coming up to US immigration, thinking the bus would stop... but it just kept on going... and going... and going... about a minute after passing immigration the bus stops and a procession of people get on the bus talking Spanish so quickly it sounded like one long word. It was at about this point that we started getting a little concerned.

The bus driver gets off and wanders around for a while as other passengers go to the toilet. We are left wondering what the hell we needed to do.

Jarrod knows 3 more spanish words than Dave, which makes three in total, so he goes to check out the situation.

"Habla usted inglis?"... No?... OK, we`re fucked. He starts pointing around at some office in the direction that we just came from. So Jarrod goes back to the bus to get Dave (looking a little worried) and says he thinks we`d better get off.

10 MINUTES LATER: Everything seems to be going OK. We got processed by Mexican immigration, have our tourist cards issued, and only need to pay for them.  He mentions something about needing to go back over to the US side by pointing towards a bridge.. we don`t quite follow but nod in agreement anyway.  So we move off to the window to pay for our tourist cards, everything seems fine, it`s only going to set us back $US41. GREAT. Nearly there. Hang on. Is that the bus driver getting on the bus. SHIT! He's leaving with our packs!

Dave has never seen a hungover man run so quickly. It was like the kebab store said there was only one left and it would go to the guy that got there first. After a gruelling sprint and much bashing on the bus door, the bus comes to a squeaky halt and he gets the bags back. What more could possibly go wrong?

40 MINUTES LATER: Jarrod hasn`t seen Dave for half an hour. He went over to the shops about 200 metres away to find an ATM to get the money cause they don`t accept cards. He still hasn`t come back. He begins wondering, how long do I wait before I accept he isn`t coming back? How am I going to explain that Dave went off by himself and hasn`t returned?

20 MINUTES AFTER THIS: Jarrod asks himself... Is that a sweat covered horribly hungover Dave I see coming around the corner? It looks like the last hour has taken something from him, hopefully not his anal virginity.

2 MINUTES LATER: Tourist card paid for. (Dave explains he had to get a taxi downtown to the only ATM that issues US dollars. Roger, his taxi driver, had recently done 3 years in a Federal Penetentiary for attempting to smuggle 180lb of mull over the border. He doesn`t have many nice things to say about the US. Dave quickly explains he is from Australia, the place with the kangaroos.)

Back to office number one to get told we need to go back to the US side so they can process our US visa properly or we may not be allowed back in the country. Where is that line you say? Oh that one. The 500 metre long line full of Mexicans waiting to cross... (let`s just say that some of these characters looked a little sketchy).

30 MINUTES LATER: "No Sir, you must get back in line". Here goes. Ummm, just a question Ma'am... We accidently ended up on the wrong side of the border.....

10 MINUTES LATER (Talking to US immigration officials): Look boys, we can sort it out for you but you guys just be careful. No we mean it, you just be really careful out there.

Geez, what have we gotten ourselves into?

 
 

 

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