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Diego and Jose's tequila tour!


USA | Friday, 10 July 2009 | Views [562] | Comments [1]

Too close for missiles, we're switching to guns. (USS Midway)

Too close for missiles, we're switching to guns. (USS Midway)

LA is a place for rubbish, shit smells, massive trucks (for recreational use)the super poor and the super rich. Unless you are in the latter group it would be a place to avoid. Also, if your fetish is to sit on a bus for over an hour and still remain on the same street get the next flight over.

Vegas is a place for Borat-style man-kini's on very drunk women (we didn't have time to get a picture but the image is burnt into my brain), big lights and things pretending to be something they aren't. If you want to party (and risk permanent liver-dysfunction) this is the place for you.

San Diego is a place for people that like to smoke pot - or at least have the demeanour of someone that does. The trucks are mostly gone and are replaced by regular cars, and they actually stop for pedestrians (which is lucky cause we keep looking the wrong bloody way!). It is a place of beaches, surfing and doing fuck-all.


Mispronunciations. We say slots. They hear sluts. They say slots. We hear sluts (made for some akward moments in Vegas). I say Dave. They hear Dive.

Options. The US is a place of options. Let`s order a burger meal. "I`ll have a fat burger meal please" (and it begins). Would you like a small, medium, large, extra large, extra extra large, or extra extra extra large? "Medium thanks" Would you like cheese? "Yes thanks" Would you like cheddar, tasty or swiss? "Tasty thanks". Would you like thin fries or fat fries? "Thin thanks". Would you like that in a cardboard box or a bag? "A box thanks". Is that a green box, red box, yellow box, or blue box? "What the fuck, just give me my fucken meal!" Everything has to have options.

The USA may also be the only place in the world that will only accept their own ID's or a passport to get into a bar. Doesn't matter if you are clearly over 21, if you don't have your passport they don't want to know you.

If you cross the border, ensure you have US dollars, you get off before the US customs and learn a little Spanish before you go (like, "should we get off here" and "don't touch me there".)

Check out a few of the photos from San Diego in the Gallery...

Tags: observations




Hi Chopsie,
Great blog! Very funny reading, take care
Yr Big Sis x

  Pip Jul 27, 2009 2:53 PM

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