Oh. My. God. The luxury begins. Let me just start off by saying we found this resort on Luxury Escapes and got out 8 night getaway for $500 each. This $500 also included two free dinners each, buffet breakfast each morning, 8 free massages/spa treatments, 24 hour access to the gym, 2 free cocktails at the swim up bar that are served in actual pineapples, and free airport transfers. So when we got picked up at Phuket airport by our chauffeur in a Mercedes with leather interior, and presented with ice cold towels, freezing bottled water and free wifi in the car, we were surprised when everything kept getting better from there.
After we got over how cool everything was and how much like movie stars we felt (call me Angelina Jolie from now on pls, also cos I wanna adopt every Thai child I see), and of course the standard check of likes, update of blog and addition to snapchat story, we watched the outside goin by in wonder for the next hour or so. Thailand is a completely different world. I actually felt guilty driving along in aircon in a luxury car right next to an open backed truck which doubled as a school bus, and kids literally sitting with their feet dangling over the back, tucked up as not to drag along the road hurtling beneath them at 100km an hour. It's crazy. (Ok mum you can stop reading this paragraph now pls) And what are even road rules? Just crossing a double yellow line onto the wrong side of the road with a truck coming toward us just to overtake a poor lil tuk-tuk struggling to keep up seemed pretty casj to our driver. Let me just say there were a few times Jake and I kind of looked at each other like, shit we are gonna die, this is the end. Too many near misses. And when I say near misses I really mean it, like we almost clipped a motorbike a few times and merged right before we had a head on with a truck. Also, old mate in the drivers seat (who didn't speak much English at all) thought it was hell cool to be going 110 in a 40 zone. At least he slowed down to a crawl to go over speed bumps for our comfort... On ya champ.
We're staying in a place called Khao Lak, which is bigger than we expected. The town centre was 5 lanes wide, pretty damn impressive. It's pretty westernised and touristy, because most of the resorts are 5 star and over so they're basically catering for rich white people, which they assume we are (lol jokes on them, help us we are poor uni students). As we got closer to our resort (it's pretty far out of town and really private, we have a massive stretch of beach right in front of us that's pretty much untouched) it started looking more and more what you expect Thailand to look like. Little pop up stalls and markets with fresh food and veges and cheap electronics and clothes on the side of the road. One thing we noticed was how happy everyone was. They have the hugest smiles and the warmest, kindest eyes, which is really nice to see that they're not just trying to scam you kinda thing, they are genuinely lovely people. That doesn't mean we aren't gonna haggle their lil asses off though.
We were greeted by two lovely Thai men who opened the door for us and carried all of our luggage, and were taken to the reception area which is open, overlooking the amazing pool and beach, with a koi pond and cute little bridges and comfy seats. We were told to sit down and they brought us over even more cold towels and strange purple drinks we were a bit skeptical over because we weren't sure if they were alcoholic or not. They waited on us like we were millionaires, so polite and respectful and gave us all our vouchers for free things and room keys, and carried all our luggage to our room for us. On our way we met the resident cat, who is my new best friend. The pool stretched along all of the rooms, so everyone has their own private little balcony and steps into the pool straight from there. We are on the second story so we missed out on that, but I think I prefer it because we can see the ocean, and sit on our balcony enjoying the view and breeze and free wifi without anyone swimming like 2m away from us. The two people showed us all the fancy things in our room like the safe and free beach bag and towels, robes, free shoes and the mini bar (which is not free - except for the water). Then they left us alone with our aircon remote to marvel in this amazing space we are going to call home for the next week. The bed is absolutely ridiculous. Like, it's width is way longer than the length. Pretty sure its two double beds (maybe even queen beds) pushed together, Jake layed down on it and it was way longer than him. Plus so many pillows! They folded two towels to look like elephants on the bed to greet us, which Jake destroyed before I could get a decent photo. Oh well, they have a towel folding class we can go to so maybe we can make our own and come back with bathroom origami skills. Everything is so beautiful and we are in heaven. Can't even stress enough how lucky we are to be here, and how much we feel like we definitely haven't paid enough.
We walked down to one of the restaurants (there are 3) which is where the swim up cocktail bar is, except we were wearing clothes so we didn't access it via the pool. We went over the awesome lil bridges. We sat down right next to the pool and watched the sun set over the ocean between the palm trees, and I drank my Sex on the Beach cocktail. I wanted to take it onto the beach so I could make lots of funny jokes but Jake said I was so embarrassing so I restrained myself. Maybe one time. We've decided to try all the cocktails on the menu (or at least I decided this) because they re only 200 baht (less than 8 bucks) and so potent. I was tipsy after one (waits for everyone call me a lightweight...). I got a massamum curry and oh my god it was the best curry I've ever had. It wasn't very hot at all, but the flavours were so intense and amazing it was like an all senses experience. Damn good food. Bae got a Phad Thai just to compare what a real Thai dish is compared to what we get back in Oz. It came with heaps of fresh prawns and was super delish, so much better than any of the the Australian counterparts I've tried (and I am a serious Pad Thai eater). We got two cocktails each, and two amazing meals and still spent way less that $50. Freaking love Thailand.
It was someones birthday at the restaurant and the waiters gave us balloons and we all sang happy birthday it was so much fun (especially me being pretty drunk, I had the best time). So many giggles and smiles. Then we asked for the cheque and realised we had barely brought any money, awks, so I had to run back to our room to grab more. I'm guessing I appeared pretty tipsy because the waiter was super worried and kept telling me to be careful and not to rush. He even followed me to the bridge and told me to go slow and be careful. So adorbs. The walk to the room alone was very similiar to when you sit in the toilet at a club by yourself and realise how drunk you really are. I don't know what the hell they put in those cocktails but I felt about 6 drinks deep. (Yes, I'm a little person, it doesn't take much).
After we'd paid, stolen the balloon because it had a kangaroo on it and was obviously destined for us, the Aussies, and stumbled back to our room, we cranked on the aircon, showered in the awesome shower that had two shower heads (!!!), blew out all the citronella candles they'd lit for us because it stank, I fell asleep at like 9pm watching National Geographics. I love this place.
