Paths Unfathomed

We finally stop and I jump off the bed of the truck. I follow a dirt driveway until I see a worn shanty, barely bigger than a one-car garage. Crouching into the one-room shack, doubt creeps into my consciousness. This is where the seven of us are to sleep for the next two weeks: in a room with four beds, a couch, and a foldable lawn chair. I had traveled before but never have I been immersed into such adversity. I began to second-guess my trip, criticizing the volunteer abroad program, feeling concerned for my safety, and worried that I had made a huge mistake traveling to Guatemala. The personal journey that followed was both unanticipated and exactly what I needed.
After college graduation I worked any social work-related job I could find, ending the year with five separate jobs. I was exhausted and rapidly losing interest in my field. Nothing I did felt meaningful. When the school year ended—my jobs along with it—I applied only to full-time positions and was eventually offered a job at a residential mental health facility. I was excited for the opportunity but I knew in my heart that it was time for a change. Rather impulsively, I decided instead to travel. I found a volunteer program in Guatemala, bought a plane ticket, and left two weeks later.
So there I was, in a foreign, impoverished country, knowing no more than five words in Spanish. I thought this would be just like all of my other experiences abroad; I would spend the most time with other volunteers, we would travel together doing tourist-y things, and I would have a volunteer assignment. I learned quickly how very different this experience would be. I was the only volunteer in the program. There was no assistance if I wanted to participate in tourism. But most surprising to me was the lack of organization around my volunteering. I had to advocate for myself so that we could recruit students for me to tutor. I also had to insist on helping other families plant sustainable food sources. However unstructured, it was a unique blessing and gave me ample choices on how to best spend my time in the community. By the end of my stay I felt humbled by my previous judgments. I recognized how egocentric it was for me to have expectations of a place I had no previous experience with.
So how did I end up here? I’m not sure. What I do know is that it was exactly where I needed to be. It allowed me to embark on a journey that would provide me with a new perspective and rejuvenated me on a visceral level.