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What Was I Thinking?!? Whilst in a foreign country, it is recommended to try new foods, learn the language, and alienate as many locals as possible.

I Am Cyrano de Bergerac

CHINA | Sunday, 27 September 2009 | Views [1527] | Comments [6]

For those of you who do not get the reference in my title, please allow me to explain. There is a play called Cyrano de Bergerac. The hero of the story is, you guessed it, Cyrano de Bergerac. He was in love with a pretty lady named Roxanne, but he had a big nose and thusly many people thought he was very ugly. Thus he never went after Roxanne, despite being an amazing duelist and poet, etc. Roxanne is in love with Cyrano's buddy, Christian. Christian, however, is not very eloquent, so Cyrano offers to write poetry to her for him. They both end up going to war and Christian dies. However, Cyrano somehow doesn't realize this or whatever and keeps writing her letters. Roxanne finds out and falls in love with Cyrano but just as they're about to get together, Cyrano somehow dies. I learned this story from Wishbone, by the way. I didn't realize Cyrano died in the end until I looked it up the other day. Wishbone doesn't cover the tragic endings as much.

Anyways, I've got a thing for the American fella here, Coby. It's stupid and I'm pissed off at myself for it, but the Chinese fellas are too scared of my gun rack to show more interest in me, so whatever. The problem is that he's super attracted to my Chinese friend, Gabriella. So I've been playing Cyrano in trying to talk him up to Gabriella and giving him hints as to what to say. I've been encouraging him, for fuck's sake. "Don't give up. Language barriers aren't that bad. Go for it!" The whole time I'm doing that, I'm kicking myself because that's the exact opposite of what I want. However, I'm pretty sure I don't have a snowball's chance in hell of him finding me attractive, so I figured I'd just flirt my ass off while still giving him encouragement to go after Gabriella. I don't think he even realizes that I like him. Part of me likes that because then we can be friends and he can talk to me and I won't have to worry about it being all awkward and stuff, but I hate it because I don't want him to like Gabriella, but I do. UGH. BOYS ARE SO FUCKING STUPID. >:(

The point of this whole rant is for me to pose a question to my American man friends: Should I just grow a pair and tell him how I feel? Or should I just let him go after Gabriella? If you were Coby, would you want to know?

Tags: boys are fucking stupid, chinese boys are just as chicken shit as i am, cyrano de bergerac, fuck these tags, i am a chicken shit, i am a moron, no one reads them but casey

Comments

1

First of all...yes. I do read them. And I find them particularly funny. And I saw that movie with Steve Martin and Daryl Hannah back when she was adorable. Quite the classic tale.

I'm a cynical son of a bitch, so I always take the Barney Stinson approach and remain thirty feet from anything resembling or has a chance of developing into a relationship. Of course, this goes against my advice that could possibly someday by my campaign slogan, "Go ahead girl, get you some!", but it saves those awkward moments that inevitably ensue if things go awry. I take that back. I'm not that cynical.

My opinion on relationships similar to Hunter S. Thompson's view concerning acid. You don't look for acid, it finds you when IT thinks you are ready.

  cross Sep 27, 2009 12:57 PM

2

Who hasn't read Cyrano be Bergerac, classic literature at its finest. Classic literature always makes me laugh, because the two people who love each other so much never actually get together. So we are left to believe that just loving someone strongly enough will make it all OK. When in reality if Romeo and Juliet ever actually got to live together they would have broke up in like 2 years after they realized they knew nothing about each other, had nothing in common, and Romeo was going and hanging out at strip clubs with all his friends.

You know my personal philosophy of 3 years cold turkey from women. So I would be the last person to suggest you get involved in a relationship, but on the other hand I am a guy ( I just checked and yes I am). I say grow a pair and say something; however, the hardest part is if he says he doesn't feel the same you ave to back off and not make it awkward. He is going to follow your lead if you make it awkward so will he, but if you are cool about he will be to, unless he is a douche and then I will make him disappear for you.

On the other had you can just say nothing, pine away your love, and bury your feelings deep down in a little box. Then you can open the box late in the night when you are alone and look at your feelings and sob uncontrollably until your brother comes down stairs and tells you he can hear you crying through the vents, and shut up he has to get up early for work. Then you find out 3 years later that the person was just waiting for you to say something because they were just as shy and scared as you were. I don't agree with Hunter S. Thompson, sure relationships find when you are ready, but if you call your friend up and invite yourself over to your friend's house to get high, and your friend hadn't decide to buy a few hits of acid, cause some nice lady gave him a tip at work for bagging her groceries, because it was the first week of the month and she had just cashed her Social Security check, then you never would have had that hit of acid. So sometimes you have to take the first step.

I will leave you with a quote and I forgot the movie but, "Love she is a Mother Fucker." Words to live by.

  joshuapatterson23 Sep 27, 2009 2:25 PM

3

My thoughts as a "mature" woman and one who has felt the same as you on more than one occasion are this: you only live once and life is short. Cliche, yes, but you will miss out on everything if you don't take the plunge. What's the worst that can happen? So he'll break your heart...really, so what? Is a broken heart really that bad? Doesn't it make you appreciate the times when your heart is full even more? It will heal, it always does. And maybe you'll be surprised and he'll reciprocate your feelings. Besides, you've already got a pair, Becca. You are in China for Christ's Sake teaching English to some not so enthused kids. Who else has the nads for that? Not me. My vote (if it counts) is to go for it! What the hell. I love you, sweetie. XXOO Mom

  Mom Sep 28, 2009 12:43 AM

4

You know what i think...(and this probably comes later than a Woman's period who's been pregnant for 4 months), but believe it or not, if the guy is smart enough to speak a bit of Chinese, he's probably smart enough to pick up on some suggestive HINTS. Having said that, if above stated fella is anything like me, He probably HATES IT when a woman is not upfront about what she feels/wants/needs. I hate subtle HINTS. Just come out with it already! I hate subtle hints, not because they are hard to figure out but rather, they are annoying when you already know the Score.
So, as you so eloquently suggested, Grow a pair, have some fun and if you get rejected say something coarse like..well, "it's not like you and I could ever have a meaningful relationship, it was just a fleeting idea."

  d-moss Oct 2, 2009 2:44 AM

5

i think the overall concensus is on the "grow a pair" side...just sayin. and i do believe we have been honored with man balls, so you can do it!

At the same time, we were given man balls because we are seen as just one of the guys...to tell him would result in automatic revocation. And in some ways, telling would suck more balls than not(like losing closeness).

i guess this was a pointless post on my part. The only thing i have successfully done is show that i am a sterotypical GIRL (there you go Josh Little Sugarcreek Patterson)and can't make up my mind...reminds me of someone i know...

  avoidthenastyones Oct 2, 2009 1:11 PM

6

how bout a spoiler alert? i was halfway through cyrano...

damn, damn, damn, damn.

  dad Oct 20, 2009 1:38 AM

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