The World According to Spaz The ramblings of a man from a place going to another place completely different to the first place.

You wanna know something? If the London Underground were to go toe to toe with CityRail, there'd be a lot of convict blood on the tracks. A lot of blood. The Tube dear readers, is bloody marvellous. Well, so far it's been good to me. I seem to have no trouble understanding where I'm supposed to swipe my travel pass in (known as an Oyster card - look at that you've learnt something useful from me for a change), where the line I want to find is, where that line goes, where I have to change to get to the next line... and so far I haven't had to wait more than two minutes for a train. Bit of a change from Sydney, where the lines are confusing, the trains aren't late they just don't come, it costs squillions, and understanding a single word the announcer says is like solving the Da Vinci Code. Only even more boring. "Eh mumble mumble standaclear, doorsa closinga". Yeah cheers for that. I do miss the old Pete Smith-esque voiceover guy who comes on every now and then. The dulcet tones of his "This train is now due to depart, please stand clear" is much sexier than the limp wristed "Mind the gap" bloke over here. But apart from that, it's Vote 1 Tube until the day I die.

I must admit too, I am completely in love with the Tube map. I stare at it constantly like gazing into the eyes of a new girlfriend who you can't believe is letting you stick your tongue down her throat. Though I have pulled up short of saying "Hi Schmoopie!" every time I catch sight of it, I must admit that I'm completely infatuated. The map apparantly is the legacy of a Londoner from back in the day when the world was all black and white, Harry Beck, an electrical draftsman who based his design on the style of circuit diagrams. The only thing you need to be wary of is that he's paid absolutely no mind to keeping distances in proportion, so there's no real way of telling if taking the Picadilly line from Hammersmith to King's Cross is quicker than taking the Hammersmith & City line. I guess electrons or whatever don't really care about distances like humans do.

Ok next post I'll actually talk about some stuff what I done. Dan wants the use the computer to download more porn 'n that.