While Kuta Bali is about as far removed from the Real Indo as it gets, Kuta Lombok is a different story. Here, tourism has painted the thinnest veneer upon the land and people, and beneath it lies a Muslim community where prayer call disturbs your sleep daily at 4am; where everyone has a shiny motor scooter, yet many have never gone beyond a 10-mile radius of their village.
It was here that we visited Beth’s friend Ayu, who invited us to dinner at her family home – a simple dwelling set back behind the strip of beach-facing guesthouses. While we ate the delicious spread prepared by Ayu and her pal Kelly, bought at that morning’s market with Beth and Isabel in tow, the girls cross-examined Ayu about her life, culture, and recent marriage to Pete, a 40-plus Australian.
First fact: Ayu is shy, sweet, funny, unworldly… and breathtakingly beautiful. Sitting there hearing her story unfold, as a man it wasn’t difficult to put yourself in the (absent) shoes of Pete and wonder if you wouldn’t have done exactly the same thing.
- You’re only 18, is that a normal age to marry here?
- Quite old. By the time a girl gets to 20, she’s already too old for a man to want her. 13 or 14 is quite normal here, but I wanted to finish school first.
- How did you meet Pete?
- I was selling Saris and I met him at the hotel he was staying at. He went away for 3 months, then came back again.
- What happened next?
- (giggling) He stole me from my village! Paid some boys to grab me and bring me to his hotel in Mataram (Lombok capital city) where he was waiting. Afterwards, I was really scared, because if I didn’t come back without a husband...
- What?
- ‘Kuhkkkkk…’(makes gesture of throat being slit) get killed.
- By who?
- By my family. Tradition.
- Has this ever happened before in your village?
- Yes, to a girl I knew. She went to Mataram with a boy in secret. But someone saw and told her family. So her brothers killed her. She was tied to a tree, hands behind her back, and beaten with sticks, then they cut her throat. (giggling) Lots of blood coming out!
- What did they do with the boy?
- Nothing. Just the girl.
- Did the police arrest the brothers?
- No. It’s the tradition.
- So, once he’d taken your honour, Pete had to marry you?
- Yes. He had to come to my village to meet my father. And he had to become a Muslim.
Ayu’s father stops by briefly. A small, quiet, frail old man with 3 deceased wives and a face devastated by the cancer that has eaten it away for the past 11 years. It smells of death and decay.
- Was everyone happy with the match?
- My family were all very happy about it, but some people from the village said bad things about me, about marrying a white man. But Pete paid 5 million rupiah for a big party, and everyone came and had a good time.
Over the course of the evening, Ayu reveals more about her life to come with Pete. How she wants to move to Oz with him, how she has never drank alcohol, and how Pete, a reformed alcoholic, doesn’t want her to start. How Pete finds it “hard to relax” when she is around other men, and worries that she will cheat on him. And, when we ask her if she’s looking forward to getting her Australian passport, her surprise, saying “really? Pete never told me about that…”
