I'm struggling to do the thai fashion of smiling whilst I sit around waiting or turn up to a class only to find out that the timetable has changed, or Yim got it wrong 4 weeks ago and they only just realised why I have been coming to lessons for the four weeks...
The lesson mix-up isn't usually very annoying, unless I've rushed around for a book to read to the kindergarteners or just printed off my homemade bingo set. The good thing about it is I have a bit more free time, to sit around and wait that is... most times I end up just joining another class, usually with Yim as she knows what to do with me. But yesterday I got some competition - 4 American peeps from the PDA who are up here to teach at the school in the morning and work for PDA in the afternoon. It's good to have some company, though it's funny to hear "wassup" in a heavy american accent from one of them as she is a Thai born in America! This morning I went to read a book to kindergarten (as I had done so for 2 weeks) only to be given a queer look - "its their morning tea time, come back five minutes". When I came back, another Farang was already there teaching and now I am left with rambling on the internet.
I wouldn't worry as much except today I got paid - about 200 bucks for a months work! This is more than I've spent in the past month, despite trying to pay for every teachers meal when we go out (its not hard when its a dollar a dish). I had forgotten that I was actually getting pocket money, but now I feel guilty if thats the right word - what if i haven't done a good job? So I thought to try and cover my poor english teaching with some kind of donation. But the school isn't exactly strapped for cash, and unless I have the thousands for a new building in the planned high school I can't really do much. I went and saw Wichian about my predicament and he suggested that I let him pocket the money. Not sure if he was serious or not, but I just laughed and said maybe a beer or two. He said that I should just buy teachers dinner and maybe a few things for the students - like a prize for the upcoming ping pong competition (as soon as I figure out how to draw a chart). I am sure I will think of something, though I would rather it be permanent than a packet of tim tams (and other prizes) for a good ping pong player. Till then, Wichian is getting free beer and Yim free Durians (a big smelly fruit)
Yesterday there was a school market. I had been informed about it on the weekend and joined a group of teachers going to Buriram to buy stuff to sell. Buriram is about 30km away, but they treat it like a big road trip and don't go the extra distance from Lamplaimat often. I was glad to go to see something different to rice paddies, but it was more or less the same as Lamplaimat except a lot bigger with some really really big supermarkets. The teachers joked about me buying them pizza and were a bit embarrassed when I readily agreed (I wouldn't have minded a slice). The Hippie said that we would go after buying teaching material in one store. There were dozens of little waffle, donut or ice cream shops around the store and the teachers spent more time eating from these than buying anything (mainly just clothes,no teaching stuff) and so I learnt that western and thai culture is the same when it comes to girls going shopping. Impulse buyers for sure! Then there were declarations of "im lao ka" or similar, which means "I'm full". So no pizza apparently. But we went to a Night market (it was still daytime) and had dinner there (more rice, so sick of it!). I was surprised to see Miss Cambodia complain about the salad being too spicy. Not surprised about the complaining, just the fact that Thais can't eat something too spicy! I thought they were invincible. After the meal the teachers did more shopping whilst I browsed around watching all the thai's cook and sell odd looking things. It was very tempting to buy everything I saw as I wanted to try it, but I restricted myself to some 3inch grasshoppers and maggots which all the teachers thought was gross, except for Yim and Toi. After another 3 hours of shopping around (for clothes mainly) we headed back. Having left at 2:30pm we got back at 9:30pm! We feasted on the insects I had bought, I must admit I could only stomach one grasshopper but the maggots weren't so bad. I had also bought some things for the market - aussie bbq food! I was going to try and make anzac biscuits, but I couldn't find any chopped up coconut despite seeing it in most thai sweets. The teacher thought I was losing it when I tried to explain what I wanted - "coconut milk?".
I only had 3 classes on monday and so after lunch I set about making a mess in the canteen. I had planned to sell snag sandwiches and beer damper, giving vegemite sandwiches away for free. Sausages in Thailand aren't very similar to aussie ones - the best and most expensive ones look like they are the plastic woolworth brands. I opened a bundle and chucked them in a pan, but 5 minutes later a cook came in and looked at them - I hadn't taken a plastic coating off each one! They had been individually wrapped! I burnt my hands trying to take it off, glad it hadn't melted into the snags. I am definitely not going to be a cook! When they were cooked (without a plastic coating) they looked pretty gross - the skin was all blistered and they looked a bit like frankfurts gone wrong, but the passed a taste test when I doused the sandwich in tomato sauce.
The beer damper actually went surprising well considering everything should have gone wrong. I had been told the school had a "very big oven" which was the smallest cooker I have ever seen, fuelled by a gas bottle and a dodgy temp gauge. I heated it, and threw my dodgy looking batter on a tray, leaving it to fate as to wether it worked or not. After 45minutes of stuffing around (the gas would turn on/off by itself) I got an ok looking damper, that tasted ok with butter and honey but Yim's verdict was "it could use more sugar!". I had a hard time explaining it was made from beer - Teacher Au thought I said beans or some odd type of flour.
Armed with my cooking meals, I recruited Grandma Puffy to help me carry it over but we were followed by a whole class of little kids interested in what I was going to sell. It was so hard to move around without losing any snags off the plate! I put the foods down on a big tree log and handed out the vegemite sandwiches to the kids, but they were more interested in the little toothpick flags I had put in them and poking the damper. I couldn't get rid of the little tykes! I asked grandma puffy to help me, but they ignored here and stayed crowded around my little stall poking and touching everything. Then I started getting orders - grandma suggested 10 baht (30c) for the snag sandwiches, which must have been cheap as they were all gone within five minutes. I was left with a wad of cash, about 10 bucks (300 baht) which paid for most of what I had bought, including the damper ingredients and vegemite sandwiches (bread , butter, honey and flour wasn't cheap to thai standards). To give you an idea, you can buy a kilo of flour, or meals for two with water! I gave away the damper for free to the adults, not sure what the ruling would be on giving beer bread to the kids. But the adults just gave it to the kids anyway, so at least it wasn't my fault! The oven would have got rid of the alcohol content anyway. Oh and the "school market" had three stalls - kindergarteners selling bananas and other fruit from the school, a food stall selling precooked meals and mine! I had presumed the whole school would be involved, but not even the teachers were there! Then Teacher Ann asked me if I was doing it again tomorrow (apparently it lasts for the whole week) but was shocked when I said no! What about you guys? Oh, we have nothing to sell...
On monday night I was walking to the Cabbages and Condoms for dinner but stopped to talk to a few teachers - they were going to watch a Thai movie, did i want to come? I had vowed not to pass on a chance to do anything but soon regretted the decision as I realised that being girls they were probably going to watch a soapy Thai chic flick. god help me! But teacher Da and teacher Tuk weren't, instead we bought tickets for $1.60 each (oh yeah!) to Doomsday, a pommy horror movie. I shouted popcorn and pepsi ($1, australia has a lot to learn). The movie was dubbed in thai but it didn't matter as the plot was so basic and er, shithouse that I could just guess or make up my own version. I was proud of a couple of times when I could understand - "di" meant good! At the end of the movie I was pretty damn hungry, keen on a thai-style omellete (they're so good!) but as the other teachers had already eaten I said I'll just buy it from a street stall and we'll go back. But we ended up in the restaurant that is apparently designated for taking volunteers to. They ordered a salad and as I couldnt read the menu I said "omelette, no rice thanks". "yes yes ok" but still I ended up with fried eggs and a huge plateful of rice! And they're english teachers! God damn it I am getting sick of rice three times a day! Even when we get noodles or soup, the noodles are usually made from rice! I can only imagine how buggered asia would be if there was a sudden rice infestation and their main food source just dissappeared.
On tuesday night we went to the Fun Fair Market again, but this time it wasn't as it was closing so more stores were open but because of the rain it was still rather empty. There were a lot of foods I'm keen to try (after a few beers and a vaccination) such as baby chickens grilled whilst they're still in the eggs. One guy had little cups of what looked like coffee, but when I asked how much he said "Three". Shit is that three baht (too cheap) or some thai word? No, he meant for free! It was a freebie to promote not coffee but instant porridge. I did get a few laughs, but hopefully this is the thai custom of laughing to cover up a friend's mistake... Still it was good porridge and I wish I could cook some!
But for now, it's lunch and I have to go eat more rice and chilli (i'm getting better at it, though my stomach doesn't think so)!
