300 faces

What Day is it?

counsell — Fri, 27 Jun 2008 12:33:00 GMT

I'll have to check the calender today as I haven't been keeping track of how many days overseas its been. I'm somewhere around the halfway mark but, so I can kind of look at my travels as though I'm heading home! But really I'm just going further away soon. Only a month before I go to Egypt!

This week has been a good one. Maybe it's because the other volunteers are taking all the classes I don't like! I have to say P5 is my favourite class because they want to learn and can actually speak english to some extent - both musts in an english class! We've been doing a Healthy Topic and been going through good and bad food. I suggested to Yim that the students should bring in food packages from milk etc (kind of hard as most foods are eaten fresh and unpackaged) but she converted the idea to the students bringing in foods (packaged or not) and then we look at them, sort them into bad/good and then eat!

Rich, Yim and I went out for dinner in lamplaimat but afterwards we drove past the school to an outdoor movie set-up. Transformers was halfway through and Yim had thought I might want to see an outdoor movie for 10 minutes or so. It was a rough area but, cops were hanging around and Yim said that girls cant come here alone. I stood out badly and got a few calls of Farang and a guy came up to me and slurred "werya frum". Australia. "Do you speak english"? umm no. Yim wasn't too happy hanging around so we left back to school. I asked about who paid for it all, thinking that the food and game stalls would organise it to sell more food but Yim said that someone had died and after the funeral people just wanted to have a bit of fun. What? I sure as hell wouldn't want my kids to chuck Transformers on the TV when they are meant to be mourning! It's Thai culture, but Yim said it seemed a bit stupid so I think it might just be the rougher half of the culture that does it. still!

As I'd paid for the dinner in Lamplaimat, Yim said that she would show me how to cook omelletes and fried rice - i definitely need the skills for when I am at uni or backpacking europe on a budget! But when I rocked up the next night she was halfway through cooking fried chicken, which was fun but where is the omelette? Oh, someone else cooked it - the teachers usually get together outside the building to eat with everyone bringing their own dishes! I am determined to learn basic Thai cuisine before I leave, but I might have to ask someone other than Yim who always gets a bit confused! Worst comes to worst I'll just have to fork out on a cooking course in Bangkok or somewhere but I don't think it will be as authentic or easy.

I am in dire need of a haircut too! Haven't cut it all year and it's becoming a bit of a pain to see. Maybe I'll just have to get it dreadlocked in Khao San...

Halfway Already!

counsell — Wed, 25 Jun 2008 12:46:00 GMT

I looked at my calender this morning to notice that i've only got 4 weeks of teaching left! Bloody hell this has gone quickly. Whilst I can't say teaching has been the best of fun, it has been good and I'll miss it a bit, though travelling europe with friends will settle down any miseries i have pretty quickly!

Last weekend I went to Khon Kaen, which is the big city in north-east thailand. The lonely planet said it was a place for tourists to drop in and satisfy their cravings after weeks of temples, so it seemed like a good thing for me! I was planning to catch a bus on Saturday morning, but Friday arvo saw me impromptly leaving with Miss Hippie and Ann! I was grateful as it saved me a hell of a lot of stuffing around trying to catch buses etc. But in my rush to pack I'd forgotten my phone, which made it hard to organise getting picked up on sunday! And for some reason they were quite intent on me staying at the Sawadee hotel, which is about 20 bucks a night - way more than my planned splurge on a 4 dollar backpackers! When they dropped me off, I just said I'll find my own hotel and meet them at the mall on Saturday for lunch (pizza!) and Sunday afternoon to go back. Easy enough!

So I wandered a kilometre or so to a much more familiar setting of a Pom setting up a hotel/cafe with his thai bride and made camp in a definite "no frills" room. It took the guy about an hour to find a lock and key that matched, but I was very happy just to talk to another Farang (foreigner)! There were a few other expats, one guy who startled the hell out of me when he crept up and said something about Russia and Holland killing each other. I thought he was talking about a new war! Then when he said 3-1 or something I realised he was talking about the euro cup, which made a lot more sense but I stopped listening as he continued his drunken ramble.

Being used to my teaching schedule I got up the next morning a bit too early as I remembered that nothing in Asia likes to open until 10:30am, so I took a stroll around a lake at the southern end of the city. It was peaceful but definitely the start of a hot day and I was soaked in sweat when I dropped in for a iced coffee. I soon found out that lonely planet had lied to some extent about Khon Kaen being a tourist indulgement - the only touristy things there were a museum, maccas and a few other junk food franchises! I suppose that's what most foreigners would want after a month of fried rice but. So when I went to The Pizza Company (more or less same as pizza hut) to meet Ann and her friend for lunch, I wasn't overly surprised to see a fair few Farangs munching on cheesy slices of heaven. But I was surprised at the price of pizza - a large one is anywhere between 12-20 bucks! Though Ann told me that a medium is the same as a large in Australia. I think its pretty funny that what's considered cheap in australia is something of a delicacy in Thailand, especially at the price. But mainly it's because cheese is expensive. I paid for the lunch to cover my share in the road trip, plus I still felt guilty about getting paid to volunteer so I figured it's best to spend it on the teachers as the school doesn't need anything!

The main let down of the weekend was the lack of English Cinemas. So I had to settle for the Incredible Hulk dubbed in Thai. It's funny to hear the High-pitched or overly serious Thai voices for little people. I could understand all of it because of the basic plot - "Hulk, smash" then run away - but I impressed myself with my knowledge of Thai as I could understand a few sentences here and there! Later in the car trip back I spoke just thai for about five minutes to Ann and Miss Hippie and they were amazed at how much I knew and told Yim who said "yes, i think you are smarter than william as it took him a lot of practice to remember things! But he also drank a lot more beer..."

On saturday night I wandered around the city for a long time, just looking at markets and Thai nightlife. I'd planned a rice-free weekend but have to give in to temptation for Jhok, a rice soup with beef dumplings. I regretted it a little as it wasn't overly tasty but I have to try everything at least once! But then I found another night market which happened to be choc-a-bloc full of very tasty and exotic looking street food, so I cursed my impatience to eat Thai food! It was still interesting to sit and watch the locals cook and eat. I probably looked like a dickhead tourist doing that! After a long time I got bored and went to the backpackers to read books and talk to the other dickhead tourists.

I don't think I'll go back to Khon Kaen anytime soon. Just isn't anything there!

The ping-pong competition has been going rather smoothly, with the exception of today as everyone was more interested in watching a big gecko fight a snake in the roof of the canteen. I was too! We are nearly through round one of the comp, and I must admit that I lost my game (on purpose of course) but come on, it was against last years champion! And there has only been one kid crying because they lost!

It's Time... Wait no its not!

counsell — Wed, 18 Jun 2008 14:01:00 GMT

I'm struggling to do the thai fashion of smiling whilst I sit around waiting or turn up to a class only to find out that the timetable has changed, or Yim got it wrong 4 weeks ago and they only just realised why I have been coming to lessons for the four weeks...

The lesson mix-up isn't usually very annoying, unless I've rushed around for a book to read to the kindergarteners or just printed off my homemade bingo set. The good thing about it is I have a bit more free time, to sit around and wait that is... most times I end up just joining another class, usually with Yim as she knows what to do with me. But yesterday I got some competition - 4 American peeps from the PDA who are up here to teach at the school in the morning and work for PDA in the afternoon. It's good to have some company, though it's funny to hear "wassup" in a heavy american accent from one of them as she is a Thai born in America! This morning I went to read a book to kindergarten (as I had done so for 2 weeks) only to be given a queer look - "its their morning tea time, come back five minutes". When I came back, another Farang was already there teaching and now I am left with rambling on the internet.

I wouldn't worry as much except today I got paid - about 200 bucks for a months work! This is more than I've spent in the past month, despite trying to pay for every teachers meal when we go out (its not hard when its a dollar a dish). I had forgotten that I was actually getting pocket money, but now I feel guilty if thats the right word - what if i haven't done a good job? So I thought to try and cover my poor english teaching with some kind of donation. But the school isn't exactly strapped for cash, and unless I have the thousands for a new building in the planned high school I can't really do much. I went and saw Wichian about my predicament and he suggested that I let him pocket the money. Not sure if he was serious or not, but I just laughed and said maybe a beer or two. He said that I should just buy teachers dinner and maybe a few things for the students - like a prize for the upcoming ping pong competition (as soon as I figure out how to draw a chart). I am sure I will think of something, though I would rather it be permanent than a packet of tim tams (and other prizes) for a good ping pong player. Till then, Wichian is getting free beer and Yim free Durians (a big smelly fruit)

Yesterday there was a school market. I had been informed about it on the weekend and joined a group of teachers going to Buriram to buy stuff to sell. Buriram is about 30km away, but they treat it like a big road trip and don't go the extra distance from Lamplaimat often. I was glad to go to see something different to rice paddies, but it was more or less the same as Lamplaimat except a lot bigger with some really really big supermarkets. The teachers joked about me buying them pizza and were a bit embarrassed when I readily agreed (I wouldn't have minded a slice). The Hippie said that we would go after buying teaching material in one store. There were dozens of little waffle, donut or ice cream shops around the store and the teachers spent more time eating from these than buying anything (mainly just clothes,no teaching stuff) and so I learnt that western and thai culture is the same when it comes to girls going shopping. Impulse buyers for sure! Then there were declarations of "im lao ka" or similar, which means "I'm full". So no pizza apparently. But we went to a Night market (it was still daytime) and had dinner there (more rice, so sick of it!). I was surprised to see Miss Cambodia complain about the salad being too spicy. Not surprised about the complaining, just the fact that Thais can't eat something too spicy! I thought they were invincible. After the meal the teachers did more shopping whilst I browsed around watching all the thai's cook and sell odd looking things. It was very tempting to buy everything I saw as I wanted to try it, but I restricted myself to some 3inch grasshoppers and maggots which all the teachers thought was gross, except for Yim and Toi. After another 3 hours of shopping around (for clothes mainly) we headed back. Having left at 2:30pm we got back at 9:30pm! We feasted on the insects I had bought, I must admit I could only stomach one grasshopper but the maggots weren't so bad. I had also bought some things for the market - aussie bbq food! I was going to try and make anzac biscuits, but I couldn't find any chopped up coconut despite seeing it in most thai sweets. The teacher thought I was losing it when I tried to explain what I wanted - "coconut milk?".

I only had 3 classes on monday and so after lunch I set about making a mess in the canteen. I had planned to sell snag sandwiches and beer damper, giving vegemite sandwiches away for free. Sausages in Thailand aren't very similar to aussie ones - the best and most expensive ones look like they are the plastic woolworth brands. I opened a bundle and chucked them in a pan, but 5 minutes later a cook came in and looked at them - I hadn't taken a plastic coating off each one! They had been individually wrapped! I burnt my hands trying to take it off, glad it hadn't melted into the snags. I am definitely not going to be a cook! When they were cooked (without a plastic coating) they looked pretty gross - the skin was all blistered and they looked a bit like frankfurts gone wrong, but the passed a taste test when I doused the sandwich in tomato sauce.

The beer damper actually went surprising well considering everything should have gone wrong. I had been told the school had a "very big oven" which was the smallest cooker I have ever seen, fuelled by a gas bottle and a dodgy temp gauge. I heated it, and threw my dodgy looking batter on a tray, leaving it to fate as to wether it worked or not. After 45minutes of stuffing around (the gas would turn on/off by itself) I got an ok looking damper, that tasted ok with butter and honey but Yim's verdict was "it could use more sugar!". I had a hard time explaining it was made from beer - Teacher Au thought I said beans or some odd type of flour.

Armed with my cooking meals, I recruited Grandma Puffy to help me carry it over but we were followed by a whole class of little kids interested in what I was going to sell. It was so hard to move around without losing any snags off the plate! I put the foods down on a big tree log and handed out the vegemite sandwiches to the kids, but they were more interested in the little toothpick flags I had put in them and poking the damper. I couldn't get rid of the little tykes! I asked grandma puffy to help me, but they ignored here and stayed crowded around my little stall poking and touching everything. Then I started getting orders - grandma suggested 10 baht (30c) for the snag sandwiches, which must have been cheap as they were all gone within five minutes. I was left with a wad of cash, about 10 bucks (300 baht) which paid for most of what I had bought, including the damper ingredients and vegemite sandwiches (bread , butter, honey and flour wasn't cheap to thai standards). To give you an idea, you can buy a kilo of flour, or meals for two with water! I gave away the damper for free to the adults, not sure what the ruling would be on giving beer bread to the kids. But the adults just gave it to the kids anyway, so at least it wasn't my fault! The oven would have got rid of the alcohol content anyway. Oh and the "school market" had three stalls - kindergarteners selling bananas and other fruit from the school, a food stall selling precooked meals and mine! I had presumed the whole school would be involved, but not even the teachers were there! Then Teacher Ann asked me if I was doing it again tomorrow (apparently it lasts for the whole week) but was shocked when I said no! What about you guys? Oh, we have nothing to sell...

On monday night I was walking to the Cabbages and Condoms for dinner but stopped to talk to a few teachers - they were going to watch a Thai movie, did i want to come? I had vowed not to pass on a chance to do anything but soon regretted the decision as I realised that being girls they were probably going to watch a soapy Thai chic flick. god help me! But teacher Da and teacher Tuk weren't, instead we bought tickets for $1.60 each (oh yeah!) to Doomsday, a pommy horror movie. I shouted popcorn and pepsi ($1, australia has a lot to learn). The movie was dubbed in thai but it didn't matter as the plot was so basic and er, shithouse that I could just guess or make up my own version. I was proud of a couple of times when I could understand - "di" meant good! At the end of the movie I was pretty damn hungry, keen on a thai-style omellete (they're so good!) but as the other teachers had already eaten I said I'll just buy it from a street stall and we'll go back. But we ended up in the restaurant that is apparently designated for taking volunteers to. They ordered a salad and as I couldnt read the menu I said "omelette, no rice thanks". "yes yes ok" but still I ended up with fried eggs and a huge plateful of rice! And they're english teachers! God damn it I am getting sick of rice three times a day! Even when we get noodles or soup, the noodles are usually made from rice! I can only imagine how buggered asia would be if there was a sudden rice infestation and their main food source just dissappeared.

On tuesday night we went to the Fun Fair Market again, but this time it wasn't as it was closing so more stores were open but because of the rain it was still rather empty. There were a lot of foods I'm keen to try (after a few beers and a vaccination) such as baby chickens grilled whilst they're still in the eggs. One guy had little cups of what looked like coffee, but when I asked how much he said "Three". Shit is that three baht (too cheap) or some thai word? No, he meant for free! It was a freebie to promote not coffee but instant porridge. I did get a few laughs, but hopefully this is the thai custom of laughing to cover up a friend's mistake... Still it was good porridge and I wish I could cook some!

But for now, it's lunch and I have to go eat more rice and chilli (i'm getting better at it, though my stomach doesn't think so)!

Another Ramble

counsell — Sat, 14 Jun 2008 15:22:00 GMT

Time flies here! I'm almost halfway through my volunteering stint at the school and I haven't even started the ping pong competition yet! Whilst I would like to stay longer, I don't particularly like following William especially when I get called William a dozen times a day by both students and teachers! And I have just booked my ticket to europe with a stopover in Cairo for a few days. Honestly I have become so accustomed to Asia that going to Cambodia or even Myanmar doesn't seem like much of an adventure anymore - its all "same same" at the moment. But climbing pyramids and dying in 40 degree heat should be a nice break. After two months of travelling with friends in europe i think asia will be a nice change back, especially with the cost of europe! The most I have paid for one day in asia will probably get me a dorm room in a london backpackers, not covering food, transport and beer!

As you can see I'm relatively excited of the prospect of talking english as opposed to teaching it, and am looking forward to travelling with high school buddies even if it will cost me my life savings!

The school is going fine, though I'm getting a little frustrated with "thai time" and when noone tells me whats going on. Like last night, when I was told by Chan that we would be going into Lamplaimat at 5:30 for dinner. Come 6:45 I wasn't too hopeful for anything to eventuate, so I started to walk up the highway to nearby Cabbages and Condoms restaurant. Only I was stopped halfway by Yim and Pawn who were coming to pick me up for dinner at the same restaurant. I can't say I was in the greatest mood after being stood up, so it was very hard to do the Thai custom of smiling and laughing over mistakes. When we got to the restaurant, it turned out that about 15 members of the PDA were having dinner with all the teachers and Mechai himself was there! I regretted having changed into boardshorts and a t-shirt but was thankful that I had shaved. I wasn't in the mood to be there but I did get to talk to Mechai for a little bit, and when he asked me what I thought about the school Yim said that I gave a good answer. Thank christ, it's hard to be witty when you;ve had to speak slow and simple english for 5 months. From the amount of people there I finally realised why the Cabbages and Condoms restaurant was so big yet so far from the town - when the PDA comes to visit its very convenient! Apparently the restaurant is losing a lot of money, but that should change when they build the high school next door. Plus the restaurant in Bangkok makes about a million bucks thanks to it's rather pricey (in thai terms) food and cheap employment. I'm not joking, I think it actually makes about a million bucks.

At Lamplaimat Pattana school I teach mainly by just being there to help the teachers, play a few games and suggest/pronounce things. Essentially I'm a co-teacher. So when I went to a local government school with the advice to "play a few games and just talk" i found it a little difficult when the English teacher with 8 years of experience couldn't actually speak english and just sat down as though I was a fully qualified teacher who spoke Thai. Plus I had been told that I would teach P4, 5 and 6 in the morning - I didn't know that they combined into one class and so all the games and activities I had in mind couldn't be reused for each grade! I think William had killed hangman from overuse here, as they were too good at it. So for 2 and a half hours I stretched my memory back to my lightning ridge primary experiences to think of games that would be fun, yet somehow incorporate english. I even made a few up! I was down to my last idea when lunchtime finally came, and had little hope for teaching 1,2 and 3 that afternoon. But the principal offered to take me to a ceremony (i mistook it to mean after school) so when I said yes we drove off straight away. I was relieved but embarrassed as maybe I should have stayed! We met some other guys at a restaurant where they were munching on raw beef soaked in cooked blood. It smelt gross. The others couldn't speak english much, but the principal told me that these guys were all principals as well. Then at 1pm on a thursday during school the principals started to down a bottle of whisky. Hmm some ceremony! We were there for a couple of hours and I couldn't do much apart from make a few jokes about the food or "beer o'clock", a legacy that william left behind for the alcoholic teachers! It was stinking hot too. So when we got up to go, I thought you beauty, I can have a shower when i get back to school! But no, we were going to a temple for the ceremony. which was another principals funeral. oh damn it, what the hell am i doing here? The heat and beer (I had refused but they seemed intent on me drinking after the beer oclock jokes) got to me pretty quick and I couldnt shake the feeling that I smelt sweaty. There were hundreds of people here, all wondering what the stupid farang (foreigner) was doing there! Still despite the awkwardness it was interesting to see, especially when we went up to the coffin to place incense on a tray - the monks started to throw candy and 1 baht coins into the crowd! And then we were each given a small bottle of eucalyptus oil to sniff. ok... i want my funeral to be like that!

When we left I though finally i can go have a shower, but no the principal wanted to take me to his floating hut in a canal to meet more friends and drink more beer. Ok, what the hell. Not like I had much choice. Plus the hut was very cool and I started to think of plans to build one at home before realising that we dont have a canal, or bamboo trees at home! Though the small fish farm would be cool. Maybe I can dig my own and fill it with coy... At about 9:30pm he finally said that he'll drop me off at school so we all got into a car. But of course we had to make a few detours - one to get more beer and the other to a high school, so I could meet an english teacher that one of the principals was pretty keen on. Damn it, I wanna go home! It was fun but I was tired. It was really entertaining to watch the teachers try and do the finger tricks but, especially when i told them the students can do it! Finally, at about 11pm we went back to Lamplaimat Pattana school and I crashed in bed - very thankful taht my first class in the morning wasn't till 11am!

Stay tuned for the next ramble (whenever I have the time) as now I've got to go to buriram to buy some supplies for a school market on monday - I'm trying my hand at baking Damper and Anzac cookies, though I will have the foolproof backup plan of sausage sandwiches and free vegemite sandwiches - they're free as noone will pay for them! Except maybe wichian, he eats anything...

Gallery: Hong Kong

counsell — Tue, 10 Jun 2008 17:34:00 GMT

Part 1 of the Lengthy Ramble of My Despised Return to School!

counsell — Sun, 8 Jun 2008 17:17:00 GMT

I have spent 13 years of my life trying to get out of school, so it's pretty weird to be back at one, of my own free will, with no pay. When I was a kid, if I had heard that I would do this as a free adult I'd probably have studied a bit harer and got into oxford straight out of high school. Especially as I'm back at school in the despicable role of a teacher!

But despite all my childhood oaths, the past few weeks have been rather fun even if at first I was, well, unsure of what I was doing let alone how to do it.

The school is a lot better than I imagined, even after seeing William's pictures. I had thought that there would be some extent of Thai poverty, but I am sure this primary school is a class above the one I went to. Just not in the standards of english! One weekend a danish guy called Ben came to visit and he told me all about the school - its actually more of an example for government schools to go by! So this school is a hell of a lot more than a primary school. They even get business people doing training sessions here; one business has booked for 400 people to come in october. All of this makes me a bit nervous about teaching, as I sure don't want to stuff it up. But the students and teachers make it a lot easier - most of the students aren't shy and will chase me, hug me, try to hold my hand and get me to play. I am more or less a rope in tug-o-war. It's good as its easier to know the students like me but bad as I feel likea paedophile everytime a student hugs me. Yim assures me its ok as the students were taught to do it in Kindergarten but it passes of as they get to P4. I try and escape the smaller kids sometimes to go play soccer, though the heat is really a killer and I get so sweaty. I can only do it at lunchtime when I have no afternoon classes as then I can have a shower!

The first day of school wasn't actually a day of school; it was a parent- teacher day. Wichian had told me that morning that I would have to do a 5 minute speech, which seemed stupid as 70% of parents are farmers so noone would have any idea what I was saying. It was even stupider as I had 1/2 before speaking after he told me, but luckily I guessed right in that he was joking. I still had to get up with the other new teachers (its the start of the school year in Thailand) and say a few words. I said "Sawadee Krap" and "Mai ow prik" but noone laughed, either because my thai is bad or it isn't funny to thais. Damn it! Yim showed me around the school whilst the parents listened to Wichian and then I was free for the rest of the day. Which was good as I had no idea what was going on, but bad because I didn't know what to do. So I just hanged around and talked to people, well tried to. Later in the afternoon we played volleyball, which is apparently the latest craze for the teachers. My skin was so red and sore afterwards! Then we went into town for some noodles on a street stall (I love thai street food). On the table there was chilli, fish sauce, vinegar and sugar. I put a little bit of chilli in my noodles to try and build up a resistance but was shocked to see Yim put 3 tablespoons of sugar in her bowl! Yim said she loves sugar. I soon learnt that Thai's put sugar into more or less every dish they have and hence don't really have a dessert menu, though westernisation is changing that. It causes a lot of diabetes problems too! The funniest thing is Yim and the other teachers will say they dont like things as the sugar will make them fat! Like some fruits or alcopops! Odd way to look at it.

Most nights I have been taken out for dinner, especially that first night. Actually I get taken out by everyone, anytime. They all want to show off to the foreigner! The first weekend I went to a temple on each morning, we donated some food and money to the monks so they could eat and build a stupa, then we ate all the leftover food. But the praying on Sunday really put me off going again, I just can't sit cross legged for so long! I feel out of place as I dont think foreigners would ever get close to these temples, they are seriously off the beaten track.

Teaching at Lamplaimat Pattana school isn't too hard as mainly I'm used to help and pronounce things. Though I can't say I'm overly good at the latter, especially after 5 months of chinglish. I have 2-4 classes a day, usually in the mornings, but Teacher Yim is the only one that talks to me out of class in regards to the lesson. I dont think the others have to as there isn't much to planning a kindergarten lesson (read a book, laugh and sing) but Yim teaches P5 and P6 and they are older. I had to quickly think of other games and be extra creative with hand tricks as William had used them to death for these classes, so most of the time I'm struggling to remember what we did in primary school. Sometimes it's nothing to do with english but the kids enjoy it and the main reason I'm here is just to interact with the students and let them speak english! The school has everything set up, but the teachers aren't good enough at english and the students don't have much incentive. I mean, everyone speaks Thai and there isn't any english up around here unlike Bangkok or Singapore. A lot of students speak Isaan (local dialect), lao and Khmer as well as Thai so English can be a 3rd or 4th language! Teacher Yim is good, but nowhere near perfect at English. Teacher Saeng was at Singapore so I don't know how good she is, but close to Yim. The others all know english but it is riddle with mistakes and mispronounciations. It's worrying when the students are learning mistakes as to them it has to be correct as the teacher is always right! Its frustrating sometimes, like when Teacher Da wrote up 5 sentences on the board (not part of the lesson plan) which weren't too good. She asked me in front of all the students if it was correct after they had spoken it together but by that time I couldnt say anything without making her look stupid in front of the students!

Last week we had a group of students come from Singapore. They couldn't have been a bigger contrast to the local students. They had dinner in the canteen and freaked out at all the bugs, which most of the Thai's catch and eat as a snack! They could speak and understand english better but they a really bad accent whereas the locals don't know much but have can pronounce most things really well. On the last day they were here (they came all the way from singapore for 3 nights, 2 days) they had a cultural exchange show: thai's did Muay thai (kick boxing), a few dances and a ritual with a fair bit of enthusiasm and home-made costumes, but the Singapore students were dressed in casual city clothes and just sang songs like "you are my sunshine" and "it's a small world". To be fair, I think Singapore has too many cultures to recognise but still. Maybe I am just being bias towards the students as now I'm a teacher and in some parts responsible for their shows (I helped with some English speeches).

One thing I noticed and didn't particularly like was the seperation of muslim and non-muslim Singapore students at meals. This was because of pork being dirty to muslims and how they couldn't sit at the same table as someone eating it. But to me it was just defining the culture as being different a little too far. Why didn't they just not serve pork? But another thing I noticed thats really what the school is about was the teaching methods. Lamplaimat Pattana school is mainly an example via its teaching methods: the teachers are all young, nice and will never berate or command a student - the ultimate goal is to encourage the student to learn freely and independently. But the singapore guy was nuts. I dont even think the dickhead teachers at my high school were this bad, and this guy was talking to 10 year old kids! Wichian seemed happy when I pointed this out.

The Danish guy called Ben had worked for the Population and Community Development Authority (PDA, Non-government organisation run by Mechai) but his contract had just finished and he was visiting Wichian before going back to Denmark. He had met William at a english camp somewhere. It was good to talk to someone in proper, fast english and on Friday I went with him to Cambodia (its 2 hours or so away) so he could renew his visa. I learnt a lot about PDA, Wichian, the school and Thailand in general so I was actually happy to sit in a car for so long. At the border you could see all the casinos about 50m into Cambodia! As gambling is illegal in Thailand they all hop over to blow their money and buy fake booze and cheap cigarettes. There was a huge line of cars and a few buses that take home those who have bet away their cars. Later in the day we declared beer o'clock and went into Lamplaimat with Wichian to a little roadside cafe of sorts (all outdoors, i'll put up pictures soon...) but Ben had to stop and buy a case of beer for Wichian first. I thought it was a goodbye present but Wichian had actually beaten him in a game of golf! We were joined by Teacher Toi, Pawn (haha her name sounds like porn) and another office chic i dont know. I ended up footing the bill for dinner - Wichian was happy as he had two rich foreigners paying for his beer and food!

Oh and for all you boozers back home, the alcohol here is cheap! A large bottle of decent beer is a dollar or so, 2 dollars if you want to buy heineken. You can by smirnoff double blacks for 2 dollars from seven eleven - they cost 12 dollars a 4 pack back in Aus! And a bottle of Absolut vodka that costs at least 40 dollars back home is about 20 here. And if your really tight there are plenty of 3 dollar bottles of whisky... I remember telling Simon that Dad is drinking crownies these days when they are on special for 45 bucks - simon couldnt believe how expensive that was! Its about 25 bucks for a case of heineken here. Jealous?

I know this blog isn't in any particular order, I'm just writing as I think of stuff. Here are a few funny moments of misinterpretation:

Teacher Au (said like oo) was walking to the bathroom and saw me. She said that she wasn't feeling too good so she was going to use some white powder to make herself feel better (making a motion with her hand to her face). What??? Teacher oo is a drug addict! It took a while to explain why it was so funny to me. Maybe thats why the school car has eye-whitener in the glove box (im not joking, it actually does have some in it).

Teacher Pawn has a dog call Dow-hu, which means Tofu. It usually follows her everywhere, even if we go out for dinner somewhere. One night I asked teacher Da what was in the big dish and she said Dow-hu - your cooking Pawn's dog?? It was even funnier when Pawn came in looking for the dog and I pointed to the pot.

It's very hard to remember everyone's names due to the vowels and incredible difference from stereotypical English names. So I give nicknames to all the teachers with difficult names, but sometimes just because it is funny and the other teachers suggest it. So far there is Hippie (she wears env.org clothing and bracelets), Miss Cambodia (cambo chic), Miss Happy and a few others but the funniest is Grandma Puffy. Real name is Zhaou but she is the oldest teacher apart from Wichian (still only 34) so the other teachers suggest her nickname be grandma. The puffy bit comes from when she got an infection and her face swelled up greatly, looking like a puffer fish for the better part of a week. And yes, most of the teachers here are girls, which Ben and I agreed was due to Wichian's selection.

One night we had a volleyball competition. It was so hot I was soaked in sweat just from walking to the nets! Then afterwards everyone piled straight into the cars for a teacher dinner - no shower! I was plagued by the feeling I smelt bad the whole night! I was especially worried as I did'n't have my wallet, but luckily the school was paying for everyone. It was a BBQ night where we sat outside and in the centre of the table was a coal pit, which on top went a bowl that had a centre for grilling and an outer ring for boiling veges. I had to try and cook some some foods (I had no idea what I was cooking) but of course ended up knocking the dodgy bowl off the coal pit, burning my foot. Luckily noone else got wet and the pot was nearly empty, so I saved a small amount of embarrassment and of course had to smile through the pain in my foot! Oh, I forgot to mention that only 2 utes took all 20 teachers into town, and we had to cram in the open back to do it. Normally I wouldn't do it (or maybe I'm just saying that for Mum's benefit) but being so sweaty I didn't have much choice. Wichian was driving and I hoped like hell he hadn't drunk too much... After dropping off the other teachers we had to drive around the school to where Wichian and I lived. With me still in the back, Wichian thought it would be really funny to go really fast and swerve - I had to cling on hard to stay in! It was funny but when I jumped out of the back into the side of the rice paddy (wichian had parked close enough..) where I got stuck knee deep in mud and had to come back the next morning to search for my thongs.

I was going to finish the whole ramble in one go, but I'm at the school community development centre and there is a bit of a line for the computer. Im pretty sure the kids will just play games, but they are paying and I'm getting teacher's benefits of free internet!

Day 95 - Nothing much to say!

counsell — Fri, 16 May 2008 17:14:00 GMT

Well you heard me! All I did was go to MBK and buy bugger all, pack my bags (that took a while) and then go for a swim. But we did go out for dinner to Cabbages and Condoms, somewhere I had wanted to go for a while! Simon and Joy were meeting far-connected Aussie travellers that had done a favour for Simon - something to do with the RTA and safety videos for school. The place was insane! So many condoms, everywhere. They used them for lamp shades, mannequin clothing, flowers and more! I wish I'd brought my camera, so I will definitely have to revisit at some point to take some snaps to show back home. You can't really describe it in words, but it is one of the funniest restaurants I've been too, even if the food isn't the greatest and a tad overpriced. I think all the foreigners living in Thailand take their guests here to show off the quirky nature of Thailand, as Simon and Joy weren't overly amused at the jokes having seen them for 14 years! But they took delight in showing us Aussies around. My favourite was Condom Man, a superhero decked out in condoms and packages of contraceptive pills. Or the condom wedding dress! Again, im going back when I get the chance just to take some pictures!

Day 96 - Back to School!

counsell — Fri, 16 May 2008 16:58:00 GMT

Had an early start - I actually got out of bed before Simon and Joy! Ok it was a Saturday, but still. Konkrete drove me to the Northen Bus Terminal - I had only been to the Eastern one. The north version is a lot more chaotic, I think Thai people would struggle just as much as I did. I asked the main desk where Lamplaimat tickets were sold and went over to counter 107. She said no, didnt even try to sell me a wrong ticket! So back to the main desk where the chick pulled out a massive map of Thailand. I said lamplaimat again and she pointed to Buriram! Finally getting closer. I pointed to nearby lamplaimat and she must've figured something out as she rushed me over to a different counter where I bought a ticket and was ushered to a line. I had no idea what time the bus was going to leave, if it had left already or if it was for sunday! The advice I had gotten from the school was catch a bus to lamplaimat at 7-8:30. But luck was with me again as I sat down on what I hoped was the right bus. As noone was yelling at me I figured something must be right.

The bus trip wasnt too much fun - 8 hours long! But we did have a couple of stops where I could stretch my legs and pee, even a lunch break next to a market. I wasn't too keen to stray too far from the bus as I definitely wasn't in the mood to be left behind.

Thankfully all the roadsigns are in English as well as Thai, so I could tell when we were getting closer to Buriram/Lamplaimat. All of a sudden there was a sign pointing left to Lamplaimat but the driver was keeping straight. I had made out that I was a dumb foreigner and said Lam Plai Mat several times, but when I said it this time the bus pulled over and dumped me there on the side of the highway. Deja vu! I wearily eyed the 1km sign to Lamplaimat - it was bloody hot! I had my big backpack, day pack and laptop to lug. I figured this was just the bus stop (a bamboo seat) and so called Yim (the head english teacher) to pick me up. I had to repeat mine and Williams name a few times before she started talking English, but even then I couldn't hear much. She asked me where I was; where was I??? I said a few nearby landmarks but she said I'll meet you at 7/11. Oh great, there aren't many of those in Thailand. I picked up my bags, the effort covering myself in sweat and trekked towards Lamplaimat, hoping like hell the 7/11 wasn't around the other corner. After 1/2 hour of gruesome walking I spotted it, and a ute pulled over near me. Thank bloody christ! But no teacher Yim - it was teacher Saeng and Toi - Yim was with a sick relative. We went straight from the town to Cabbages and Condoms restaurant - its next to the school about 8km from town. Stupid place to have it as noone will come out so far! We had lunch and I learnt my first words of Thai - "mai ow prik" - no get chilli! T. Saeng was going to singapore in a few hours so I was ditched at my new home in the school - the guest rooms, next to Wichian's room. Air conditioning!

I had barely unpacked when Wichian (the principal) shouted out "beer oclock" - at least william taught something here! But we went to lamplaimat first. Its not as small as I thought - it has a supermarket, big market, cheap market, food market and on tuesday nights a fun fair market! But nothing else... Wichian asked me what sports I played, but to him running isn't a sport. Pool? A little. So off we went to a dirty little snooker hall to play snooker. ok...

Back to the Cabbages and condoms restaurant for beers before dinner. We were soon joined by Toi, and later yim. Was a good night, but I noticed on the menu that there is snake head, ox and frogs! I asked Wichian, but snake head is just a type of fish. But if I wanted, I can eat snake somewhere else. Umm no thanks, maybe later. Wichian also tried to offer me Papaya salad, but I was smart enough to say "mai ow prik"! The stuff is potent with chilli, and they told me about when william ate a chilli and got very sick. Wichian was laughing a lot as he talked about the tears and runny nose willaim had. So another lesson today, don't trust wichian!

Yim and Toi went back to the school, but Wichian said he needed to find an atm so we drove into town. The atm was broken, so Wichian went to a 7/11 and came out with 2 more beers! He handed them to me and told me to open one for him, the other for me. So on my first day at school, Wichian, the principal (a rather respected one) was driving me down the highway with no seatbelt on and drinking beer, after a lengthy beer o'clock! Ahh... the thai way of life.

Day 94 - In Transit

counsell — Thu, 15 May 2008 17:03:00 GMT

Well today was a bit of a bore compared to the last 3 weeks. Am pretty sick of toast after three days, but I think I will miss it a lot when I am stuck with rice for two months!

Just had a last wander around Kota Kinablu, which didn't take long as there isn't much to see. Then bang, off to the airport where I hoped like hell my ears wouldn't explode mid-flight! There is a recommendation of 18 hours before you fly after diving and I just made it, no problems either! Except the flight was craptastic. Whilst waiting at Kuala Lumpur I ventured a lot further out of the airport to see a small amount of "same same" for a lot of sweating! To make the wait worse I didn't have a book to read and the airport was busy, so all I could do was wander around and watch other people stress out as their plane was late. Fun times.

No problems with the second flight or at the Bangkok airport. I bought a good bottle of wine for simon and joy duty free, but I got the feeling it was a lot cheaper out of the airport as taxes arent high in Thailand. I would have given them a bottle that actually travelled from Australia but Mum used up all the import into Brunei on goon!

Simon and Joy said they would be at dinner, so I made my own way into Bangkok from the airport. It was about 10:00pm so I figured they'd be back and going to bed, but it wasn't until 11pm when they got back! It doesnt sound that late but it is when they get up every morning at 4 or 5am! We were all tired and so I briefly mentioned my travels before returning to bed.

Day 93 - Definitely Doing This Again!

counsell — Wed, 14 May 2008 16:51:00 GMT

It was really rough as we headed out to a different island to start the day. I mean really rough, I got so soaked in the freezing winds I reconsidered my new found love for scuba diving. But when we pulled up on the beach it became miraculously sunny again, so other than a bit of a current we had no problems. Plus the visibility and quality of the reef was much better than yesterday. We flew through the last of the lessons, most of which were the same but at 12m deep! I was lucky not to have any problems with pressurizing as my ears were blocked out of the water. Saw a lot of cool stuff that I proudly logged into my dive book, including a cuttlefish, big groupers and a sea cucumber that looks like a giant caterpillar. Damn thing was as thick as my leg! But the best highlight of the day was seeing a giant turtle up close, especially as people pay hundreds more to get the experience at Sipadan! (another island). Definitely got me hooked and I could go on forever about all the crazy stuff I saw, but really you should just go out and do it yourself! Nothing can explain what it is like to float along in what is essentially a different world. Washing the equipment out wasn't as fun when you know that its someone else using it tomorrow. Nor was the walk back in the very heavy rain! Luckily it didn't last long and so I had a last wander around before settling in for a beer and terminator 3 back at the hotel. I was very lucky as well, the guy from singapore had an underwater camera - only one snap of me and some dodgy photos of, well nothing but still! The instructor said its a hell of a lot harder to dive using one, even if you've had 30 to 40 dives! Will post them soon...

Day 92 - Sexy Wetsuit Sunburn

counsell — Tue, 13 May 2008 18:15:00 GMT

Yes I know you guys told me I should wear sunscreen! But really my sunburn wasn't too bad, just looked a little worse due to the clear cut-off from the wet suit sleeves. Don't worry, we had a good laugh. Oh and my 20 dollar hotel splurge included free buffet breakfast - toast! Very different to what I had become accustomed to. The weather was nice but the sea a bit rough as we headed out on the little boat to the outlying islands. We had already tried on wetsuits, flippers and masks back at the center. The boat was made for scuba diving and there were over a dozen tanks lining the seats, making it uncomfortable every time we hit a wave and slammed into a tank. At first we did a swim test, which was easy enough despite my fears from over-buffeting. Then into the wetsuits and we learnt how to assemble the gear and bang, we were in the water breathing through tank air! I'm not going to go into to much details about diving but all I can say that you should do it at least once! Its bloody fun and I now understand why william said I shouldnt do it until the end of the year as its addictive and I want to go again and again! We just learnt a lot of skills, most of which I didn't know were possible - like how to take your mask off your head and then replace it, breathing through the nose to fill it with air. Personally I didn't like that one as the salt would sting for a little bit, especially if you didn't do it right. Then after our take-away lunch (no cafes on this island) we did a bit of an exploration but didn't see much due to poor visibility frm the weather and its only a starting island - just sand bottoms for easy learning. But we did see plenty of clown fish, a few black-pitted eels which I proudly spotted - they only stick their head out of the sand! Deepest depth for the day was 12m, but you have no idea until you look at the dial, i thought we were at 6 or 7m! same thing with time, it really flies underwater! I am definitely keen for tomorrow as we will go to a better island to learn bouyancy and have a free dive in the afternoon. After we had cleaned our gear I had a seafood platter for dinner with the others - the banker, hk chick and her friend who cant swim but was trying to snorkel. I wasn't keen on spending the money but didn't want to say no, plus it worked out to be like 7 dollars or something - not big in the scheme of things! Back at the hotel all the free internet computers were taken, so I kicked back with a beer and watched Malaysian soapies until the locals took pity and gave me the remote - the movie channels here are pretty good!

Not a happy chappy!

counsell — Tue, 13 May 2008 17:33:00 GMT

The other day I wrote up five days worth of blogging but then realised they hadnt loaded properly on the internet. So, spewing, I decided for the lazy option and just wrote a lengthy general overview of the travels with Mum and Dad.

Only it didn't load at all and won't paste the copy I made. So in short, I am way too frustrated to write up a hell of a lot of blogging that ive already written twice. Instead, ask mum or dad about the adventures and I will continue from where they left me, high and dry with my standards of travelling at the financially impossible nice hotels and buffet dinners. To make up for it, I'll post some long-awaited pictures of all my travels as I now have occassional internet access from my computer. A picture speaks a thousand words, right?

And if your not happy about it, then come and fight me! Maybe you should have commented more!

Day 91 - Goodbye Le Meridien, Hello Scuba Diving!

counsell — Mon, 12 May 2008 17:39:00 GMT

I had my last non-rice breakfast with Dad in the lobby of the Le Meridien Kota Kinablu. Mum was guiltily in the gym upstairs from the last few nights of seafood buffets. Munching on smoked salmon and camembert (its a $10 buffet included in the bill, jealous?) I told Dad how although sad I was to say goodbye to them, I was keen to start some new adventures and leave the good hotels and buffets, back to my $2 a night rooms and street-food. I think in some ways my parents were very cruel to me - its going to be harder to go back to poverty now!

Luckily I had a new-found passion to distract me. Scuba diving! I wanted to do a Open Water Course and we saw a very good deal on it, so as an 18th birthday pressie I got the whole course paid for, plus a cloth badge! It will make it a lot cheaper to do the more popular and better dive sites later in the year.

I waved goodbye to mum and dad at the centre (I think they were off to eat more seafood before catching their flight) and sat down to a day's worth of boring dvds and filling in the blanks. No diving on the first day - I had to learn all the details! Its a lot more complicated than one might think, especially if you cant afford a dive computer. I finished the final test in 5 minutes, though of course I got one wrong and had to stay at my normal 98%, the last marks always so elusive! The dvd style of teaching reminded me way too much of school. There is a hong kong girl and a young singapore banker doing the course with me, so at least I won't get lonely!

At night I checked into my new lodgings, a first for me in terms of price - 20 bucks a night to try and ease my transit back to pov backpacking. Its still a nice little place! I didn't have much to do that night bar try and get organised and of course sleep, so it didn't matter when the tail of the Burma cyclone hit us and the power cut out - damn it was raining hard! When I did fall asleep the power came back on.

Day 78 - Living it Rich... Kind of

counsell — Wed, 30 Apr 2008 20:56:00 GMT

I quickly realised the benefits of travelling alone when we woke up at 6:30am. Whats the point of having a nice bed in a good hotel if you cant sleep in it??

When mum and dad said we were going to Brunei, Simon and I had to look on the map to find out where I was going to - I thought we were going to Brunei? Quick geography lesson: Borneo is an island, the bottom half of which is Indonesia. The north half is Malaysia but there is a small sultante of Brunei in the middle of the Malaysian coast. So we are in Brunei and are going up to the northen tip of Borneo, in Malaysia. Get it?

As everything had been organised at the last minute we didnt have anything planned in Borneo apart from a 2 night jungle safari and a night on a mountain, but that wasn't til the second week. So we wandered around the capital of Brunei that morning and soon realised how different this place was to all the other countries we'd been to: There was no tourism industry. The tourism office itself was closed down and just referred people to a small agency on the 2nd floor of a derelict building. As well everyone was clean, quite and I'm not sure how to further describe it. It was just different. As a car stopped to let us cross the road, mum reckoned it was because there is no beer in the country but Dad and I quickly squashed the idea.

We had a odd looking beef/chicken pancake thingo for breakfast which was good but we must have stuck out as tourists in the small local diner. Before long we had a tout trying to get us on a boat ride around the harbour, looking at the water villages and palace. We had wanted to do it anyway and after haggling the guy down from 40 to 20 mum reckoned we had a good deal. Of course later we read that it should be about 10 bucks! I had a bit of the runs, most likely due to dehydration, so the trip wasnt that enjoyable for me even if interesting. All the houses had been built on stilts in the water, there were even a few schools and apartment buildings amongst them! The local fire brigade was of boats. Great little villages.

We stuffed around a little more on the harbour discovering that there is nothing, at all, worth buying in Brunei. The sultanate is crazily rich - everyone here gets free schooling, healthcare etc. For the Sultans birthday one of the princes had tried to rent Disneyland. When unable he built one himself and opened it free of admission for 6 years until 2000. Now, with the entry cost at 4 dollars, it is run down and only good for the small rides! Another story is one of the princes was put as head of finances. He managed to swindle 4 billion dollars into personal items like airplanes and cars - 4 billion dollars! He ran away to England and the Sultan didnt care until he realised that it was more like 20 billion. How the hell do you take so much money away with noone realising for years? Damn oil tycoons. We saw a sign for diesel - about 20c a litre, straigh from the platforms.

There was a way to see the richness of these guys easily - the $1.1 billion Empire hotel. It was more like a resort - huge buildings, nice private beaches, Jack Niklaus designed golf course. It had bowling alleys, theatres/cinemas, 6 restaurants and more. We just wandered around inside as though we were staying there, but I dont think we fooled anyone in our shabby clothes. Dads shirt was covered in sweat that didnt seem to go away. We had a high afternoon tea - fancy spiced tea, scones and cakes. It was expensive, especially in my standards, but there was no other way we were going to experience this hotel. We did consider going to the dinner buffet for 60 bucks each, but with no buses we would be stuck here for the night!

There wasnt much else to do except to visit the city mosque. We had tried earlier in the day but it was closed to tourists as they were praying. This time we were lucky and took off our shoes to walk up the steps. We signed in, received our black robes and went in to find out we couldnt go further than 3 metres from the door! They had a carpet that we werent allowed to go beyond. So after all that we could only stand back and admire the main foyer, nothing else, definitely not close up! We did see an atm and an escalator, so now we are wondering what really goes on in there.

Tired and stuffed with cakes we went for a swim in the hotel pool. Well mum and I did whilst we watched dad sweat away in the gym. We drank another bottle of wine by the water, hiding it everytime a waiter went past as we weren't sure if we were allowed to drink it or if it would be offensive. For dinner we had a "steam boat", a pot of boiling water where you put cook your meal in it on your table. It was fun and dad had his traditional banana split before we hit the hay.

Day 77 - Meet the Parents

counsell — Tue, 29 Apr 2008 13:14:00 GMT

Said my farewells to Simon and Joy at 6am. Not because I had an early flight - thats just when they go to work! Thank god im unemployed. Even still I was off to the airport at 7am, Koncrete giving me a lift. Its nice to have your own chauffer.

Got through customs and everything fine. I was a little worried as I had an e-ticket printed off the internet (dad had booked from aus) but they didnt even ask for it - just gave me my boarding pass when I said my name! Thank god noone else asked for it.

Before boarding your flight there are the usual duty free shops selling grog, cameras, perfume etc at good prices. Only thing is that all of the grog and most of the perfumes are over 100ml in size and you cant bring those sized bottles in hand luggage! So I would have been quite pissed off had I bought a bottle of Chivas Regal only to see it thrown into the bin as I go through another stage of security! The stupidest thing is that some countries like Australia and Thailand go to these lengths for security, but the planes coming into Bangkok are from places like Nepal and could be laden with 1L bottles of booze.

The flight to Kuala Lumpur was the shittest I've been on yet. I dont mind roughing it to save a few hundred bucks, but considering I'd paid extra for the meal it was still gross! I usually love airline food to an extent, but this meal was just a gross set meal shoved into one small container. Well its about time I experienced a true airline meal. Though I wasnt happy to have to pay for water, especially when I couldnt bring any more than 100ml on myself!

I was only stopping over in Kuala Lumpur for a few (6) hours before continuing onto Brunei where I was meeting ma and pa. I didnt know what to expect as I'd never been in transit at an airport before. I figured it would be like what I saw at the Bangkok airport - you just walk down a different corridor and wait in a transit lounge. Of course I was wrong, and I nervously looked for any corridors that would lead me away from the custom counters. I didnt have a visa and had no idea of the requirements - some countries you need to prearrange them! The chic just looked at my passport, gave me and odd look but stamped it anyway and let me through. Was that legal? Oh well I'm in Malaysia now. I went and picked up my bag and collected my new connecting ticket and settled down for the 5 hour wait. Only problem was that Malaysians dont seem to like transit travellers and there wasnt any seats. I managed to drag a cuppacino out for 2 hours where I could sit and read my book. Soon I had to revert to sitting on my bag against a wall looking like a homeless man. I kept thinking that security would escort me out. With 2 hours to go I could go through to the gate lounge, where I munched on my donut dinner whilst sitting down. Ive never appreciated a plastic seat so much! Ironically I could buy a lot of 100ml+ bottles in the lounge with no more security checkpoints before the plane!

Arriving at the BSB (capital of brunei) airport I saw pa standing out in the crowd (hes so tall). He pointed me towards the visa on arrival desk as I was in the wrong line. I tried to get a single entry visa but had to follow dads pointing to the bank to get Brunei dollars to pay for it. Crazy system, usually its US dollars for visas. Parents were happy and I told mum that I did get through the Bangkok airport ok before she could ask. (She did ask me again later...). They were pretty jet lagged as it was a long flight losing a couple of hours in time zones, whereas I'd had a couple of short flights and wayyy too much coffee. We got the bus back to the Terrace hotel - an umbeleivable luxury compared to my previous hotel limits (the most i've spent is 10 bucks on a bungalo in the sunny island of Ko Samet). Didnt do much else apart from have a very poor street cafe meal - Malaysians cant compare with the Thais. And of course some comforting Aussie wine - Dad told me that Brunei is a dry country. Muslims dont appreciate beer! Wow. I was glad he told me after I boarded the flight, otherwise I might not have bothered to come.

It didnt feel like a spectacular reunion as we were tired and the conversation didnt go too deep into any of my adventures. But then again what was I going to tell them - I'd already told all my tales on this bloody blog!

Day 76 - More Markets

counsell — Mon, 28 Apr 2008 19:59:00 GMT

Except this time it was indoors. BMK is a famous air-conditioned inside market that suspisciously resembles a shopping mall. Except your only buying fake merchandise. Everything a pov backpacker could want is there - 6 levels of clothes, cds, dvds, gadgets, junk and polo shirts. Like the weekend markets I cant pronounce it took me a long time to find my way around, but this time I didnt even try to buy something! I was slightly afraid of a repeat disappointment in guessing sizes but mainly the reason was because I had seen it all before and there wasnt much point buying something that I'd have to lug around for the rest of the year. I looked for a few cds but couldnt find anything new, the layout wasnt the best so I think I'll just hold the music fix until the Boom Boom Room in cambodia (cheap and extensive).

Another bad day of shopping done, I cooled off in the pool before setting about packing my bags. I still cant believe how much crap I have - all of it can be deemed necessary but I never seem to use any of it. Will definitely have to just bite the bullet and throw half away but I know that as soon as I do, I'll need that old shirt or mozzie spray.

Day 75 - Markets

counsell — Sun, 27 Apr 2008 21:15:00 GMT

The place did have a name but I'm not game enough to try and spell it. At my brothers recommendation (he wants presents) I headed out to the more famous weekend market. I wouldnt have made it there had it not been for Joy's really good directions.

The place was outdoors and absolutely packed with stalls. You could buy anything you wanted here. Literally. From massive lounge sets to little puppies that you put in your shopping basket. There was everything. I spent a lot of time here, but not a lot of money as I wandered around (most times lost) just checking everything out, with the occasional stop to rattle the squirrels cages or a refreshing smoothie from a street stall. I did a little bit of shopping - a couple of polos and shorts. Despite having got them a size up from what I thought (that way its for me, or if too large for will) when I got back to Simon's most of the stuff was way too small. I cant think of any skinny cousins we have so it was a waste of a day. Though next time I'll have a much better idea of whats going on, but still no idea how to get around in the maze of stalls.

Day 74 - Jackie Chan with Dreadlocks

counsell — Sat, 26 Apr 2008 21:02:00 GMT

Still a little bit grumpy, I was determined to get out of Pattaya as soon as I could. Which meant around midday, an hour after I got out of bed. Tis a hard life. Well it actually is as I had no idea where I was in Pattaya or where the bus station was. I jumped on a Baht Bus doing a circuit - surely they would take me there? Nope. So I walked along a road for a while and decided to follow the air-con buses as they left Pattaya. I kept regretting the choice the further we went out - it was a hot day and I'd just walked a couple of kilometers following a bus trail. But it did pay off and I ended up with a ticket in my hand waiting for the next bus to Bangkok at the Pattaya AirCon bus station, which is conveniantly very far away from Pattaya. It mocked me further when I saw the Baht buses dropping people off - how the hell did they find them?

No problems getting back to Bangkok and I was glad to get away. Called Simon and Joy and went out to the movies to watch some Jackie Chan flick. It was bad, though this time the cinema was packed out with people. I figured it must be because its the weekend.

We went out for dinner to a flashy restaurant. Simon and Joy were meeting some friends who were also involved in the school. The Crystal restaurant was all class, with a massive bed-size couch out the back so we could all have a drink. They were famous for a motorbike and Tuk Tuk clad with crystals that you could get picked up in, as well as the shop displays throughout the restaurant. Despite all this, the meals averaged 7-15 bucks! This is more or less a first class restaurant and its still so cheap! I couldnt believe it, though I did note that Pad Thai is a tenth of the price if you buy it outside from a street stall.

Day 73 - Angry

counsell — Fri, 25 Apr 2008 20:32:00 GMT

I think my laziness on the beach continued as I wasn't overly keen to explore too far from the hotel. Of course I strolled along the beach, but didnt swim in the seedy water. There doesnt seem to be much more to the main Pattaya beach than the cheap beer bars and hookers. A few shops, centres and the odd resort. I figured there might be a bit more interest in neighbouring beaches or other nearby areas, but I wasn't in the mood to find out. I will probably come back later in the year in a similar way - stop by on the way back from Ko Samet. Dont know why, the only good thing Ive discovered so far is the cheapness. Plus fending off ladyboy prostitutes is annoying.

I discovered a bowling alley, further discovering that bowling is even less fun by yourself than with other people, even if its only 3 dollars a game. Plus they had overstaffed as usual and assigned a guy to help me with everything. So he typed in my name, set everything up, got me a ball, then another ball when he saw I sucked, then mimicked how to bowl properly when I sucked again. He even applauded if I got a strike or spare. Hate that bastard. Everything in Pattaya was making me angry - the dirty prostitutes, the manly prostitutes, the bowling guy, seemingly good $3 buffet that isnt, and the 6 flights of stairs to my room.

Tried to calm down a little bit but gave up, retreating to my hotel room to watch asian tv. There were some funny cartoons (no epilepsy) and some dubbed steven seagel movies which were even funnier. I was asleep in no time.

Day 72 - Lost on the Highway

counsell — Thu, 24 Apr 2008 13:03:00 GMT

Yep, got dropped off in the wrong place! I had been getting bored of Ko Samet and so decided to check out Pattaya, a mainland beach infamous for its sleaziness and go-go bars. Around midday I wandered up to the pier, taking a wide berth around the rangers who might check the entrance ticket I didn't buy. Snacked on some fish and chips whilst I waited for the boat - I had missed the last one whilst I bought the chips!

The boat ride back to Ban Phe was uneventful, though I was a tad sad at leaving the island. Now there was a bit of a problem - I couldnt find any Baht Buses to take me to the Rayong bus terminal! Oh crap. I was cooling off with an ice cream sitting on the side of the road when I was beeped at - a baht bus had spotted me! Turns out they didnt stop, just kept on going back and forth and so I am just meant to flag them down.

The bus terminal was a mess, all the buses said they were going to Bangkok! The office lady that had helped me last time asked where I was going and then dumped me on a bus that was going to Bangkok. I figured they must stop in Pattaya. We left the terminal soon after but spent at least an hour going up and down Rayong looking for other passengers, so damn annoying!

A couple of hours into the trip we reached a huge strip of buildings that declared they were in Pattaya. But we didnt stop, even when I told the bus boy that I was going to Pattaya. The buildings went on and on - they werent going to end! I figured it musn't be the Pattaya Beach just yet. After another half an hour we were still in the stretch of buildings and the bus boy got off, replaced by another one that spoke better english. He asked where I was going and then told me to get off here! He pointed at a guy on a motorbike and said "go". Where the hell am I? I was on the side of the highway, no bus terminal, no baht buses, just this little guy who was trying to charge me double what I paid for the bus to take me to Pattaya! He pointed down the highway and said it was 5km away. Bugger. I didn't have any change and felt stingier than ever so I decided to walk. Almost every taxi that saw me beeped and tried to get my money so I figured I was kind of close to somewhere. I saw a big road heading in the direction of the beach and so followed it. There were some touristy shops but I couldnt recognize any of the landmarks. Eventually, after an hour and a half of walking I reached the beach, but it definitely wasn't Pattaya. Too tired to care, I wandered along it ignoring the calls of bikini-clad hookers in the small patches of forest. Then I finally saw it - a huge red impersonation of the Hollywood sign, "Pattaya City". Problem was that I was at the far north end of the beach and had to walk another two kilometers to reach the tourist ghetto! There were bars everywhere, with more girls (or ladyboys) in each than customers. I got a lot of calls such as "hey you big man" and "aussie boi" as I searched for a hotel. It was nearly 6pm and I was keen for a beer! I eventually found a little one, managing to haggle down the room to 6 dollars. Didnt realise that I was on the 6th floor with no elevator but for my own bathroom, tv and fan I couldnt care. I need the exercise to work off all the beer and seafood I've been eating!

I wandered around looking for a bar that wasn't overrun with prostitutes and couldnt find one. There were plenty of Farangs but they were all old, fat men - mostly german. A lot of the signs and menus were in german or russian and the hookers all knew a little of the language. In the end I just settled on a bar with a pool table and one dollar beers, ordering a chang and a game of pool. The hooker/waiter asked me who I was going to play. Noone? "Why dont you play me". Umm no thanks, I dont want to play with you. "You want to play with yourself?". Snap. Was cut badly by an asian prostitute!

The food and drinks here are the cheapest yet, especially the street stalls. I grabbed a beer from 7/11 and some bbq squid and kebabs from a street stall before kicking back on the beach to watch the lights go crazy. I wasn't going to go to walking street (the real sleazy spot) because I was too tired and would probably yell at one of the touts or hookers trying to grab my arm on the street. The squid tasted, well like squid and chilli, though my private little dinner was soon interrupted by a hooker who came and sat next to me. God damn it I want to go back to Ko Samet.

Day 71 - Boat Trip

counsell — Wed, 23 Apr 2008 19:31:00 GMT

My luxury 10 dollar bungalow was not all the worth it had seemed - the mosquito net must have been inside out because when I woke up the inside was covered with the little bastards. The white mattress (no sheet or blankets in the heat) was covered with red blood stains from when I'd rolled over and squashed them all mid-bite. Ha.

I'd booked myself on a boat trip yesterday but wasn't entirely too sure about where I was getting picked up. The hotel I'd booked it through (100 baht cheaper than going through mine) said go to the beach. Im on the beach? So i waited near the surf like an ass for 10 mins when I saw a big boat and a little boat picking people up go flying right past my stretch of sand. The boat had "New Happy Tour" on them - thats my boat! Ran back to the hotel who called a few people and eventually turned the little boat around to pick me up. Thank bloody christ.

The boat was packed, mainly with Thais. The few Farangs on it were German and old, sinking beers fast whilst trying to impress their Thai dates. Dont know why they bothered as they were probably paying for them. I wasn't entirely sure where we were going to go, all I knew was that we did some snorkelling and maybe other stuff. I was surprised when the boat pulled up and we started fishing! The reels were plastic bottles wrapped in line which worked surprisingly well, though the fishing didn't last long as all the Thais kept eating the squid that we were meant to use as bait.

With all the lines in we had lunch - the usual rice, fruits and bbq chicken kebabs. No kidding they had a fire going in a drum to cook everything!

Our next stop was the long awaited snorkelling. As we collected our goggles the cook threw all the leftover rice into the water and the fish went beserk! We should have gone fishing here. The water was really warm, though you could see the damage to the reef from overuse. Still there was plenty of fish and a fair bit of color on the reef, a lot better than depot beach. My goggles were asian style, meaning too small for my western head and I constantly had to readjust them. I swallowed a mouthful of water which is worrying as hell, god knows what I'm digesting.

I thought the trip was over and we were just heading back around the island so I kicked back on one of the deck chairs on top of the boat. But again I was surprised when we stopped at a fish farm. It was scary walking on the lone wooden plank supported by barrels around each fish net, some of the sharks they had were over a metre long! It gets even scarier when you chuck some of the bait into the cage and the fish go wild, or when you have to pass someone going the other way! I nearly lost a finger hand feeding turtles, but some of the Thais played a joke on their friend and pushed him into a cage containing two black fin sharks and a giant turtle! The sharks didn't seem to care but the turtle nipped at his ankles as he got out.

Back on my little beach I was worn out and settled in for a beer as it got dark. Then more seafood and noodles before settling in to watch a movie "No country for old men" which was ok but again another movie I'll never know the ending for. Stupid pirated dvds.

Day 70 - Ko Samet

counsell — Tue, 22 Apr 2008 18:56:00 GMT

With at least a week before meeting the parents, I came to the conclusion that the only thing I could do is hit the beach. Ko Samet is a little island within easy reach of Bangkok - I remember going there when I was a kid. Easy choice. So I packed my daypack and hopped on a bus. It was easy as pie because the station is near Simon and Joy's house and everything is written in English! Another reason to love Bangkok over Kathmandu. The three hour trip only cost a little over 5 bucks too, why can't Australia adopt these prices!

I got over accustomed to the bus trip - comfy seats, aircon etc so it was very hard to leave it in the blistering heat of the day. I got off at Rayong, the last stop in the line, where a lady helped me find the "Baht Bus" - a local means of transport that is pretty much a reconfigured ute so there is seats on the back. It was cheap and fast, but the driver stopped every 100m to pick up more fares on the side of the highway. I knew I was meant to get off at Ban Phe, the peir for the boatride out to Ko Samet. Problem was I didn't know what it looked like and there sure as hell wasn't any signs. So I did what I usually do and just jumped off when all the others did, hoping like hell it was Ban Phe. It was, but it took me 15 long minutes to realise it as we hadn't gotten off opposite the peir like your meant to. But woohoo, im going to an island paradise!

The boat trip was uneventful and again I followed the other passengers onto another converted ute that takes us around the island. I knew there was a main tourist beach really close by with a lot of smaller, resorty-type ones. I had no idea when I was meant to get off but I did when I saw the resorts start to thin out into jungle. I was stoked as somehow the National Park Ranger didnt collect my money for an entrance ticket - 6 more beers! Wasnt sure where I was though, so I did a huge wander and decided that if this wasn't the main backpackers beach it was good enough. It was more or less empty but, I figured its because its early in the week. Its meant to get packed out with Thais on the weekend.

I wasn't too happy about the price of accommodation - 10 bucks! Spewing, but I did get my own little bungalow. Very dodgily made, shower block down a different path. Still it was more than the nice little retreat I had hoped for - even came with a double bed (big flat mattress on the wooden floor) and mosquito net! Such luxuries.

I kicked back on a deck chair with a beer (only 1.20) just savouring the peace and quiet of being on a beach - first time in over two months! I had to retreat as it got darker because the dogs came over looking for food and the mosquitos really came out in force. All the restaurants have bamboo chairs on the beach itself so I ordered stirfry with seafood (2.00) and another beer as the staff put half a dozen mosquito coils around me. I just have to remember they are there every time I move my feet! The stirfry was bloody good, plenty of seafood. Paradise!

Back at the hotel they were playing a very odd movie, no idea what it was called but it had Jim Carey and Kirsten Dunst in it. I walked in halfway through so thats probably why it didnt make much sense. When it had finished they put on James Bond, which I'd already seen so I went for yet another wander. There wasn't much point as everything is along the beach so you see it all on the first stroll and noone had really ventured out to celebrate happy hour, despite the encouraging slogans such as "lets get fuckin' wasted". Some of the places even had games such as "beer pong" and of course pool, but with some fun gambles. The pub opposite my resort has a boxing ring on the beach for Kick Boxing lessons. I love this place.

Day 69 - The Emporium

counsell — Mon, 21 Apr 2008 14:16:00 GMT

It was just as hard to get out of bed (sleep deprived from reading the whole harry potter book) as it was to stay in it with the heat and humidity! I groggily got up to find that Simon and Joy had gone for work and their maid was steadily cleaning the house. I had a joyous discovery of cereal and fresh milk - the only thing thats really caused homesickness. Weetbix and cornflakes! I called mum and dad to find out what was going on, told to wait another day to hear. So with nothing else to do I decided to explore a nearby shopping mall called the Emporium.

I was a bit hesitant leaving their house, mainly because I was worried that I might not be able to find it again. Would be especially bad as I dont know how reliable the 7 year old phone I'm using is. To hell with it, I wandered out with the sky-train platform guiding me. Hopped on a train and was at Phrom Pheng or wherever in a jiffy. Easy. I just hoped it would be as easy on the way back!

The Emporium is odd (for me anyway) when it comes to prices - some things are a lot more expensive here than they would be back home and vice versa. But most importantly the stuff I want is cheaper. I didn't do any shopping as I knew that the prices are a little bit inflated to pay for the 6 staff assigned to you in each shop. Instead I just wandered around savouring the airconditioning before hitting up the cinemas. Less than three dollars for a very comfy semi-reclining chair! I felt stingy not paying the 2 extra for a deluxe seat but I didnt need it. The "superhero movie" was simply shit but it was nice to sit in an empty cinema with comfortable chairs and airconditioning. No joke, I was the only person in the whole place.

Bored of what is essentially Bangkok's David Jones, I headed back to Simon and Joy's for a dip in the pool. They weren't going to get back until the evening so I had plenty of time to do nothing. Made me wish I hadn't have read the whole of Harry Potter as I could've read it by the pool in the afternoon with a whole night's sleep.

Not a great deal more happened. When Simon and Joy got back we had dinner, Joy had even told the maid not to put chilli in the food for me! Then we talked for a while and I learnt about getting around Bangkok and Thailand - how to use the buses, trains etc. It is a lot easier than it was in Nepal!

Day 68 - Simon and Joy

counsell — Sun, 20 Apr 2008 12:18:00 GMT

Finally got some idea of what is happening. Everything has been a little messed up as I'd lost two weeks of my plans and jumped straight to Thailand, where, well I dont know what Im going to do. I just hope it involves a week on the beach.

Got an email from Dad saying his friends Simon and Joy Leslie had got back to Bangkok and I was to call them. Called ma and pa first to try and find out what was happening at the end of the month - what country are we going to travel to? But surprisingly an international phone call doesnt really seem like a big deal and we just ended up asking silly things that were obvious enough - how are you? how are the dogs? Mum's are you ok? No I'm dying ma, thats why I'm calling.

When I called Simon he was straight to the point - where are you? What are your plans? Do you want to stay? Umm not sure, dont have any but yes for a day or two before hopefully I can scoot on to some beach. He told me the sky-train station next to where he lived and said to call him when I got there. Ok, and left the phone booth to pack before checkout time. Problem was I hadn't used the sky train since I was 10 and that was with the comfort of parents! Then I realised that the phonecard Will had left for me was without credit and I had no idea how to stock it up. 7/11 seemed the best bet, and it was so I bought 3 dollars worth of credit as the checkout chick did everything for me! I wasn't being a tightass either, it is just that cheap!

It was even sweatier when I carried by dayback, bag and laptop out to catch a taxi. The ones in Khao San itself wouldnt use the meter at all, asking for double as much. Instead I lost a litre of water through sweating as I walked out to the highway where I easily flagged a guy down who was ready to use the meter. 2 dollars later and I was at a sky-train station. Seems a brilliant idea for Bangkok, cruising above the traffic packed streets. Buying a ticket was easy and cheap and I headed to a platform that hopefully took me in the right direction. Whichever way that was. I asked a guy in uniform if it went to Phrakanong, the place I was trying to get to, but I couldnt understand his English. Hopped on anyway. The next station it pulled up and said "change for On Nut". Oh shit was I getting on or off? Off sounded more fun so I hopped, but really I think I was just after a seat to rest my bags on. It was lucky but as Phrakanong soon appeared out the window. I prayed that my phone would work as I fumbled the buttons and it did, Simon said he'd be there within 5 minutes. Woohoo I wasn't lost!

Chatted to Simon as we headed back to his house, a nice place with a small pool! I wanted to jump in right then. He said this neighbourhood was for Farangs (foreigners) and rich Thais. Looking at the house I believed him. I met Joy and chatted to them after a quick change into some dry clothes. I couldn't shake the feeling that I was still sweaty, though there was little I could do about it. They were very nice and Joy even made us hamburgers for lunch! I hadn't eaten beef in months and had to explain this to them as I wolfed the buger down. They said that usually they eat Thai food, but on the weekends they need a break. I couldnt blame them, this was heaven!

Later in the afternoon they asked if I wanted to accompany them on afternoon chores. Sounds boring but I was in Bangkok! I wanted to explore a little but didnt even know how to leave the house, so this was an easy way around. First we went to the vet to drop off their happy little dog who had been throwing up for a few weeks. Joy described the vet as private health care for dogs and she was right - 4 people in the room poking at the little dog as it got scared and peed all over the table, twice. The clinic was 5 stories - even had an elevator!

Then we wandered through the Emporium shopping mall doing a few odd jobs. The place is massive and the air-conditioning was a blessing. There were more people working than shopping despite the place being packed out. Simon said that there is no unemployment in Thailand - it is so cheap to hire somebody they tend to hire way more staff than they need to make everything overly easy. He proved his point when we parked the car underneath the mall - a guy decked out in flash uniform handed us the parking ticket from the machine opposite Simon's window. That was his job, even though we could reach it easy.

Then to the supermarket for some groceries. I had a good laugh as everything here is the opposite to Australia. Rather than selling locally made products, they had imported everything from Australia! They even had a small section totally dedicated to Australian fruits, veg and dairy.

Back at the house I chilled out reading a book for an hour before we went out for dinner. I had thought that they might have taken me to somewhere local for some authentic Thai foods, but it was the weekend and so they were having a break from the spices. So we ended up at the Londoner's Pub. There was a really, really good buffet on with everything from seafood to roast lamb. There wasn't much Thai food apart from the sticky rice for dessert, but then again its not too often you see fresh prawns and smoked salmon in a London Pub. I pigged out, making the most of the all-you-can-eat, especially when it came to the meats. I had craved some roast beef and lamb - the only mutton you get in Nepal is goat! When I couldn't eat another slice of apple pie I almost felt at home, being forced upon Grandma's good cooking, but then we left and the humidity of the night smacked me as I walked out the door.

With a full stomach and a comfortable bed (and aircon!) there was nothing else for me to do apart from read the last Harry Potter book, from cover to cover. I think I went to sleep just as Simon and Joy were getting up to go to work.

Day 67 - Damn Its Hot

counsell — Sat, 19 Apr 2008 12:00:00 GMT

This place is crazy! Very similar to the tourist sections of Kathmandu but ultimately catering for beach goers without a beach! I wish I had a place like this near school, especially with the same prices.

I had a disastrous attempt at going for a morning jog. It was so hot that by the time I'd left my guest house beads of sweat were dripping off me. I stumbled around the block before calling it quits and having a blessed cold shower. No need for hot water anytime of the day - why the hell would you want to get warmer?

People were sculling beers as I scouted around for some decent-looking street stalls at 8am. Now I know why Aussies have a reputation about drinking beer any time of the day. In the heat I was quite tempted to join them! Settled instead for some odd looking tarts that I later discovered (on a streetstall with english) are custard puddings. Damn good way to start the day. Only I wasn't sure what to do after that. Wandering seemed the best idea but I wasn't too keen to see any more temples or the like. So I browsed around the river, wandering past a big park to the Royal Palace but couldnt get in as I wasn't wearing long pants. Stuff that, no way im walking all this way in pants. A girl on a bench in the park called out if I wanted any sex, noone looked over surprised.

Bought a second-hand book and kicked back under the fan in my room as the middle of the day kicked in - its so stinking hot and humid. I had drunk 3 litres of water since arriving and hadnt peed once. All the water in my body was coming out as sweat.

The rest of the day involved me eating Pad Thai and savouring a cold beer whilst reading my book. It didn't stay cold for long - most of the other people in the bar were ordering ice to put in their schooners! I finished one and a half James Patterson novels before finally getting to sleep in the heat.