As some of you may know, Cat and I are currently two weeks into a stint on a dairy farm in Lavers Hill, Victoria, about 10 minutes from the sea (if you check out the Twelve Apostles on Google, we're about 20 minutes from there). Because of our extensive knowledge of dairy farming, we were able to merge into the life effortlessly. Apparently some people don't know what dairy farming entails, so here's a quick summary of a typical day:
3.00am Up to wash the cows. We run them hot showers, then leave them to their own devices. Often there is singing. A clean cow is a happy cow.
4.30am Back to bed.
4.40am Up to give the cows an inspirational talk. Titles include: "Cheese and Me", "The Joy of Grass", and "Keep Producing Milk or End Up in a Burger."
5.00am Meditational group mooing.
6.00am Breakfast. No beef, for moral purposes.
7.00am Milking. The cows milk themselves, we merely shout encouragement.
10.00am Mucking out. The cows clean the cars, house and fields. As they have no opposable thumbs, they are unable to use shovels and brooms, so this takes a considerable time, but credit to them, they persist.
2.00pm Face to face time. We give each cow counselling, addressing such issues as relationships, family, work pressure, and dreams about abbatoirs.
5.00pm Dinner. Cows enjoy a selection of meals, including at least one healthy choice, and 2 or 3 vegetarian dishes. Followed by clean-up and games (chess, cards, etc.)
7.00pm Evening activities, such as line dancing, abseiling or bingo.
9.00pm Cows to bed, two to a bunk.
11.00pm Us to bed after a long but satisfying day.
Hope this clears up any questions.
