Mexico to panama and Cuba in between

Got up this morning and everyone has left the room except for the older Swiss lady. Next comes the awkward moment when the religious person hands the massively non religious person a Jehovah's witness brochure.........awkward!

I took it but told her very politely that I'm not religious and that I would place the pamphlet gently in the bin........kidding! I just told her I wasn't the right person to give it to, she said ok and we went our separate ways :)

I clearly look like I need to be saved!

Kind of can't wait to get out of here, I'm bored shitless but my shuttle doesn't leave until 1.30pm. Booooooored.

I ran into the 2 Aussie chicks from Monteverde and they are heading to our hostel in nica because costa is way to expensive.

I caught the shuttle bus which was supposed to be 3 hrs. We dropped a local lady off at her house in a swanky gated community and I thought, wow this place isn't as bad as everyone says........ 5 hrs later I'm in San shithole Jose and not even at the place I wanted to stay because the driver couldn't find it in that 2 extra hours. Honestly it drives you nuts. He pulled over at one stage and suggested I get a taxi,I suggested he shove that idea where the sun don't shine for many reasons. 1, I had paid for a door to door service and 2, I ain't getting in a cab in this town in the dark after driving past a stabbing scene, junkies and other scary shit trying to find the place.

I suggested another place which he knew exactly where to go and shook his head like it was my fault. Wanker.

This hostel is ok but the area is very dodgy so I'm at the hostel bar/restaurant with not one other person in sight. Fark me!

So I quickly booked a shuttle out to puerto viejo tomorrow, the only one left at 3.30pm which sucks arse also. I'll have to venture out tomorrow and maybe check out the markets and try not to die to kill time.

So I'm eating pasta made from what tastes like cream of chicken soup and a scotch and flat coke.........awesome.

It's starting to feel a bit like Cuba crossed with guatemala city.

Everyone said "don't go to San Jose, it's a shithole" but I had to see it for myself and yes it is.

I had one more scotch and I'm hitting the sack. I'm being soothed to sleep by police sirens, trains, traffic, howling dogs, meowing cats and bad reggae music.

Day 2

I stepped out into the mean streets in search of the artisan markets. My first set of directions was wrong, second wrong, third wrong I think the fourth got me there after an hour. Everyone trying to help seems to think 5 blocks in any direction is the answer!

I got there and it's not that big but it had the Guatemalan table runners I was after. The price for one in la fortuna was $100. Here they started at $60 but after bargaining with 4 different vendors I got two for $80.......bang! Happy days.

San Jose downtown is much better in the light of day. Still a bit seedy and smells like wee wee but civilised and swarming with humans.

I was sitting in the square chowing down on a chocolate churro and saw the most amusing thing. A male store attendant dressing a mannequin with the biggest boobs I've ever seen. The funny part was that he was trying to get the halter dress on but the boobs were so big they kept popping out in his face! Interesting to note that once he got the dress on he adjusted it for maximum cleavage...........he earnt it!

I cabbed it back in case I got lost and now I'm just killing time till the shuttle arrives in 2 hours.

It's now 3.30pm and I've been picked up by a guy and his 2 kids in a 4WD to get me to the highway to meet the shuttle because it's running late.

Turns out he is the owner of the shuttle company and a really good bloke. He wants to start a business in San juan del sur so we had a chat about it all and he would be a really good guy to use for shuttles. We swapped cards and after a few great tips about where to not go in panama I was on my way.

5 minutes into the shuttle ride and the traffic is so bad on the highway that the driver has actually turned the car ignition off and put the hand brake on! Looks like I'll be getting in to puerto late tonight. P.S I'm the only passenger.

Amazing, just half an hour out of San stinky I'm now in the middle of a rainforest national park with either low cloud or heavy mist. Beautiful.

Well bye bye shithole San Jose hellooooo Caribbean!