I'm not exactly the happiest person right now. I wrote out my thoughts, that are confusing, and actually placed them in some sort of an order to have them erased by accidentally pressing a button that took me to another page....not cool.
I knew being home was going to be weird. but this is unexpected. I went from being alive. I had a comfort in who I was becoming and I even had a glimpse of what I might want in life. Now, I feel so lost, confused, empty, and torn. I dont know what to do, who to see, how to feel. My welcome home wasn't what I expected and every day it seems like, I don't know. Just overwhelming and difficult. I'm scared to be here and I actually really can't wait to go to Australia to run away from it all.
What happened? What went wrong? What changed? What did I lose?
What can I do to make it better? What can I do to make things go right?
Is there a right? Is there a wrong? Is there anything that I can actually do?
I'm trying so hard. I want to be happy. I want my family to see the change. I want there to be a change. What if there isn't a change? What if I'm the same person that I was when I left and there isn't any growth or change like what I saw in the others on that school with me. Maybe I went through all that and I learned things but as soon as I got home I forgot them or just gave up.
What happened to me?
