Everybody knows that God has weird timing. Whether it's life, death, friendship, love, gain or loss, He's got his own plan and it quite often doesn't fit in to ours.
I know there are lessons to be learned from everything and by waiting, hurting or struggling we get stronger and gain patience and understanding. But that really doesn't make it any easier. It just means that I feel worse when I get mad becuase I know that in the end it'll be ok. That there is something bigger and better at work and when I stress out and get mad because it's not going my way, I'm just being selfish.
I've been trying so hard to just sit back and let God do his thing in my personal life and with this trip but it is so hard! I hate not knowing what's going. The fear of getting hurt, the lack of trust that I have in people, and the uncertainty of whether it's right or wrong. It just doesn't work for me, makes me anxious and uneasy. Somewhere down the line I'll be happy I trusted in Him. Without Him nothing would go well and this trip wouldn't happen. I wouldn't have had the strength. So there's no point in doubting Him now. It's not like He's deserted me three weeks before I leave. The people and events He's putting in my life right now are for a reason, and one day, I may understand.
