Nerves. Stress. Anxiety.
Fear. Doubt and uncertainty.
Is this what I'm suppose to do? If it is why haven't I applied? Why don't I have more money raised? Things were coming together, I was so excited, I got three jobs, my parents let me move home to save money; and yet I've made it nowhere. That's what it feels like anyway.
So far I have laid my money problems in God's hands at least half a dozen times. But every time I take it back. I start with an anxious feeling in my stomach and a "God Please I can't do this on my own!" I lay it all over to Him because there is no way I can raise a minimum of eight grand in the next three months on my own. A week or two goes by and I take the stress back on myself for a day or two and then go back to God.
It's as if I doubt that this is possible, doubting His strength and awesomeness. I keep holding back on my application because if I apply then I have to go. For me, there is no turning back, it's official and I need to have the funds.
But truth betold, "I can do all things through Christ who strengthens me" and that includes raising $8,000 in 90 days.
