Okay lets just react to my reaction.
IT’S DECEMBER 2ND!! Hello MAGGIE!! Are you alive. Jesus. I thought for some reason it was November 29th. What’s wrong with me!
It has been so white here, like a winter wonderland, literally. All it has been doing is snowing. I don’t think I’ve ever seen so much white that it made me think I was seeing blue. It all had a blue tint to it. Beautiful by far, especially how the fluffy snow would be just falling softly from the clouds.
I’m over it though. I mean if I had to choose, I would much prefer the snow rather than just cold and wet. Finally this afternoon, like 3ish I saw the sun for the first time in probably 4 days and the real blue sky. I thought for a second that I forgot what it looked like. It’s soooo nice to have the sky back with the warm sun burning away.
My day has been really nice, busy with the animals all morning, then a late breakfast, then to the stables I went to prepare for tonight. Wow the difference a radio can make. I mean some people would think just to enjoy the silence of the snow, but there is no silence with me. In my head that is. So it was very enjoyable to escape to some tunes and dance with the pitch fork while shoveling shit. ;) haha. Those are my highlights in the chateau where I just jam out.
Let’s go ahead and discuss how indecisive I have been lately. Never in my life before have I even been so here and then there, and then back. Never. I hate it. For example. I think maybe I should be with my family for Christmas, but then I think that I would be cutting myself short, real short. So then I pressure myself to stick it out. It’s not that I wouldn’t have a good Christmas here or that I don’t want to be here, but when I am getting those nauseous feelings about not being home with my family then I question myself. Plus I have a commitment here, not only that but then that would eliminate Spain. UGH! Could I get more aggravated about it. I guess I will stay, and if I all of sudden decide I want to go, then I will. Next issue: I came to find my passion, who the hell would know when things that interest me change daily. Seriously. One day I want to go to school to learn to cook, and then the next I want to save all the children in the world and work in Foster Care, or an orphanage. Two extremes. And then there’s the lovely idea of working for the travel channel, underneath Anthony Bourdain. Who I absolutely adore. So. Indecisiveness isn’t my thing. I wish it was in my nature to honestly just flow, go with the flow and flow. It’s like I can’t be that relaxed to do so, I’m going to blame this one on my mom also. Hah. It’s much easier to point the finger to that spastic woman.
Last night Rini and I were invited to a sweet older womans home for dinner. I don’t really know how sweet she is because of the language barrier, but her gestures were soft. Dave joined us also. It was very nice to be in the traditional French home for an evening. How polite and genuine is the service of having guests over. Every time she would leave the room, she would excuse herself and just extremely polite. For dinner we had potato pie with beef. Like a beef stew. Delicious. (A bird just hit the glass window, and I thought of the Windex commercial.haha.) For dessert I think we had an apple cream Bruleish pie. I don’t know but it was yummy. I honestly haven’t ever noticed myself loving sweets, I mean at Holidays, but in general it wasn’t always something I wanted. Unfortunately, that has changed. I love dessert. Homemade that is. Dinner was very nice though. I think Rini made a joke but he probably mean’t it also, when she asked us what we wanted to drink, Rini said Whiskey and then I said “the same please”. That might not be so lady like. But damn, they asked and that’s what I wanted. It warms the soul. Also at the dinner table last night, I had an old experience reoccur. When she opened the wine, she tried to do my cork trick. A table years ago showed me how the French do, they leave a whole in the top to hold the cork. The lady had tried to do it, and apparently it is true, it’s old French tradition. I was really happy that happened. After all these years of my mother telling me and others the same story of when she was taking French in college, she came home and tried to get me to repeat after her. She would say “Maggie, say, Se la vi.” and I would say “la vi”. hah. I was like 3, but momma found that so funny because she couldn’t get me to say “se la vi”. Anyhow, the saying was said and I asked what exactly that meant. Dave told me it means “that’s life.” Then I shared the not so funny story with him.J It was another night of fate floating in the air. It brought warmness to me. Alright it’s now about 4:31 here and I need to go get ready to bring the animals in for the night.
