Even though I was sad about it being my last weekend in Guatemala and the affordable trips to beautiful places were coming to an end, I was very excited to be finally heading to the one place that I had been waiting to go to since I arrived 6 weeks ago...Semuc Champey! I had heard mystical stories of the natural pools, waterfalls, caves and overall beauty and fun that existed there and I was so pumped to get there!
So I booked a shuttle for 9 people and figured that we would maybe have a handful of other people on it with us since most shuttle vans hold about 14 people. How wrong I was. Practically the largest bus in existence showed up at our house and we threw our bags on top and piled in. We drove around Antigua for about 40 minutes picking up more and more people from their respective hotels. When we thought we were finally full, we kept stopping and seats were just poppin up out of nowhere like magic. I was half expecting the driver to start tying people to the luggage rack on top or for more seats to suspend from the roof of the van. There were 24 people total in our van, packed in like livestock in rows of 4 with no aisle to stretch your legs or escape in case of an emergency. The windows were at least large enough to climb out of if necessary but these were not the safety standards we are used to back in the States. However, I think that by now we are all pretty accustomed to the lack of Guatemalan safety precautions. Anyway, the bus ride was about 6-7 hours in the hot van and I´m pretty sure we could have collectively filled a kiddie pool with the amount of swamp ass and sweat that was happening in there. We stopped in a village named Lanquin and then hopped in the back of a pickup truck for the hour drive into the jungle where our hostel was located. Even though it was a bumpy ride, it was the perfect time of day and we had the most incredible view of the lush jungle around us...besides, we were all glad to be drying our swamp ass and getting some fresh air (and dust?) in our faces!
We arrived at the hostel, checked in and got ready for dinner. The hostel was beautiful.. it was overlooking the turquoise river, surrounded by trees and plants and all the dorms were hut-like which gave a very jungly feel. It was a bit primitive since there was only electricity from 6pm-10pm...if you wanted to charge a phone or camera or put on a light you had to do so between those hours and give your device to the front desk so they could plug it in to their powerstrips...because outlets are way overrated. Also, apparently the rooms aren´t built to keep out wildlife since we had a giant scorpion in our room on the first night. Oh, and by the way, there are also huge tarantulas all around the property and they come out of their hidey holes at nighttime so watch out for that too! Sweet! Needless to say we were a bit paranoid and made sure to check our beds and room before calling it a night. After dinner and some drinks, this good looking guy from Spain came over to our table and asked us if anyone wanted to dance Bachata and guess who´s hand flew up? Yeah, I mean its a no brainer that I wanted to dance with this sexy Spanish guy and since nobody else was volunteering I got right on up there. He said I was a good dancer and we talked and danced for a bit but then swapped me for a friend and gave me to this chubby Guatemalan guy. Womp. Whatever, it was still a ton of fun being able to showcase my skills of the extremely simple steps of Bachata with real hispanic people. However, after I sat down, I set my sights on my ideal dance partner. He was a skinny guatemalan guy with a ponytail and he wasn´t extremely attractive but man, his hips didn´t lie! He had a body, and woah he could move it! I knew that I had to have a go at dancing with him, but it just wasn´t in the cards...at least not yet.
So the next day we had a guided tour of Semuc Champey. We started with a sweaty, rigorous, steep ass 30 minute hike through the jungle to a viewpoint where we could see all of the natural pools. It was probably one of the most beautiful things I have ever seen. In the middle of a green jungle there is a series of turquoise and aqua pools and waterfalls. It was incredible! We hiked 30 minutes down the other side and ended up at the pools where we finally would be able to swim! Literally we were all dripping in sweat and couldn´t wait to hit the water! So our guide took us from one pool to the next and it started with some cliff jumping. Then we continued from one pool to the next swimming, diving, jumping, and sliding down and climbing up waterfalls. It was all fun and games until near the end. There was a small trickling waterfall in one of the pools and if you dunk under a rock, there was a type of small cave that you can walk through and then come on the other side near the waterfall. So I let some people go in and come out ahead of me so I knew it was safe and then went on in. The guide stayed in the cave to help everyone figure out how to swim out and it was so awesome/freaky because you only had enough room for your head to be above water and there was all this limestone above you and you had to hold your breath and swim for a couple seconds under the rock in order to emerge out on the other side. Obviously I enjoyed myself too much the first time around and if there is time to go again, Alyssa has got to try her luck twice! This time when I dipped my head under the rocks to take another breath before swimming out, the guide helped me grab my head so I didn´t hit it on the rocks, but then he also decided to plant a kiss right smack on my lips as well. WHAT A CREEP! I was horrified and didn´t want to start a fight in a small cave with limited oxygen so I quickly swam out. I guess my face was priceless when I popped up on the other side because my friends sitting there all started laughing and saying "haha you too?!" So apparently he kissed all the girls in there, but I was the only one that got it on the lips. Ugh why me!? Who does this slimy little guatemalan guy think he is, taking advantage of his position to sneak attack tourists with kisses in an enclosed cave? I was genuinely freaked out and so grossed out by this sleaze ball, so I stayed as far away from him as possible for the remainder of the tour back to the hostel. Thankfully, we returned soon after for lunch and that was the last we had to see of him as our guide. After lunch, the best part of the trip was going to happen and I was so excited!
Finally, the part I had been waiting for since arriving in Guatemala! Right across this shaky ass bridge from our hostel, was the Kan´Ba caves! Hey guys, I have a great idea!...let´s all get together and swim through a pitch black bat cave with only candle sticks for light!! Sounds legitimate to me! So yeah, that´s obviously what we did. The guide had a head lamp but only used it when he needed to, otherwise it was a group of maybe 12 people holding candle sticks. Upon entering the cave, we saw a couple bats and then started discussing the fact that if this was in the US or Australia or somewhere else actually legitimate, we would definitely have to sign a waiver and wear helmets or something. But like I said, we were all pretty accustomed to the shitty Guatemalan safety procedures so we crossed our fingers and hoped for the best! Besides, I knew plenty of people who went in and came out alive, so this was obviously fine. Right? Well, one girl did go in and come out to find that after a couple days she started shitting worms. It was because she had swallowed some of the water in the caves that clearly contain bat shit parasites so safety tip #1...keep your mouth closed! Safety tip #2...wear shoes! Luckily, I had water shoes (yes Mom, I wore them even though I looked like a total dweeb. I didn´t care too much though since everyone in flip flops or heavy wet sneakers were pretty jealous of my handy dandy watershoes..you were right...sigh). So basically, we started walking and swimming through various depths of water in the dark, holding our candles above the water. We had to climb up and down sketchy ass ladders, climb up a small waterfall using a knotted rope, slide down waterfalls, climb over rocks, try not to kick rocks that you couldn´t see in the water, and do lots of other questionable things. We also went cliff jumping in the dark in the middle of the cave which was pretty sweet/probably really dangerous. The guide went first to show us where to jump and that it was "safe". So one by one he held our candles and helped us climb up the small cliff and BOOM, the echo of our splashes resonated in the cave. It was pretty cool and probably pretty dangerous but we were down for some adventure. The near last and definitely the sketchiest part of the whole thing was when we had to drop through a small hole barely big enough to fit our bodies with a bunch of water gushing through it. You couldn´t see through to the other side and basically we had to put our trust in the guide on this one. So here goes nothin! Handed my candle over to the guide, both feet extended in front of me in the stream of the gushing water, one hand on a rock, and one hand holding the guides hand. 1, 2, 3, time to let go! And splash! right into some deep water below. Yay we all made it through alive! However, there was one particular point where I was fearing a little bit for my safety. It was when we had to climb back down the same waterfall with the knotted rope that we came up. I grabbed onto the rope and started to spiderman it down. I made it safely through about a third of the way and then lost my footing. My foot slipped and I couldn´t see where I needed to put my foot since there were heaps of water gushing in my face, so as I fell, I swung to the side into some rocks and had no choice but to just hang there for a second until my instincts could tell me what to do. So adrenaline kicked in and suddenly I had this crazy super strength because I was able to slowly put one hand below the other on the rope and make my way down. I made it to a point where I figured if I let go I wouldn´t break my face and/or body, so I did and it was fine. Only two things were hurting me...my rope burned hands, and my dignity. I realized when I made it down safely that almost the entire group was hanging out in the pools on the other side watching and waiting for everyone to come down. Obviously they saw my ridiculous display of desperation, dangling from a rope, swinging into rocks, water gushing in my face and me in my one piece bathing suit and water shoes grabbing at straws for a way out of this mess. Sigh.
Eventually, the end of the caves were near and daylight was yet again upon us! The next thing was going to be a lazy river style tubing journey down the river, but my friends and I were too tired from the days events and too sketched out by the creepy kissy guide that we opted out of this part. I rinsed the bat shit cave water off in a soap-less and shampoo-less shower (I don't waste space in my backpack for heavy toiletries on weekend trips...I can be a dirtbag for a couple days, I won't die) and then we all got together for drinks and dinner at the hostel again. In the middle of the jungle, there are not many options for dining when your hostel is the only one within an hour drive, so you gotta go with whats close. We all hung out for a while, watching this extremely shit faced British couple dance like fools to annoying trance music and got a bunch of good laughs out of that. They were flopping around the dance floor, barely able to walk but they kept it going for almost an hour, doing weird moves and almost revealing body parts that nobody wanted to see. After a while of this, we got tired of the shitty music and annoying dancing so I requested that they put back the Latino music. Besides, I ran into Leo (aka hips dont lie) earlier in the night and he asked if I was going to dance tonight (he must have observed my sweet Bachata skills the night before haha) I said "yes! You and me can dance together?!" and he said of course! YES! MINI VICTORY! My dreams were beginning to be realized and I was so pumped about it! So shortly after I requested the crappy music to turn off, the Latino music started bumpin and I was ready to burn a hole in the dance floor with my spicy dance partner! He came up to me shortly after and we started dancing. I was right about him being a great dancer because he was an excellent leader so I was able to just swing around the dance floor with ease. We danced Merengue and Salsa for hours and we did all these crazy spins and twists! All of this hip and culo shakin was just TOO MUCH FUN! We even got compliments from some of my friends and the other hostel guests who were watching us. People asked me if I had any professional dancing lessons or experience..HAHA! (shout out to my mom and dad for always dancing with me and teaching me how to follow along with the moves during our hustle sessions! Thats where my "professional" experience comes from! thanks guys!). So it definitely was an awesome last night hanging out with friends and dancing with the spicy Rico Suave himself. I felt like a part of me was born and died all in one weekend. My dancing persona was born, lived a short but glorious life and then had to die because lets face it...when am I going to get the opportunity to dance Merengue, Salsa and Bachata with a local for hours like that?! Probably not for a while since white people just can't dance like that..so sad! haha After the lights went out, some more brief tarantula hunting was done, but I retired to bed before finding any. Thankfully, there was no more wildlife in our room either!
Next day it was up early for our ride back to Antigua. This time, the shuttle bus was smaller with less people, nicer people and more space to stretch out! Plus, the driver stopped for bathroom and snack breaks often and we still got home in really good time! He dropped us off in the central park of Antigua so we had to walk home. Not a problem, except that it was Sunday. And every Sunday during Lent there are processions around Antigua which means the streets are packed with people, vendors and parades. I felt like I was walking through Disneyworld on a busy day because spectators lined the streets waiting for the parades to pass, many people were dressed in purple robes and other costumes and vendors were selling food, balloons, toys, etc. I really wanted to see the alfombras...carpets layed out on the streets made of fruits, vegetables, flowers and other colorful things. They are usually really large and elaborate and we found a small one on the street, but it wasn't a great big beautiful one so I was kind of disappointed. Oh well, maybe next time.
So, my last weekend in Guatemala was officially over and I enjoyed it just as much as every other day in this beautiful country. Over the last 6 weeks, I got to visit so many amazing places and make unforgettable memories with so many amazing people. I am truly going to miss everything about this country, especially my new friends from all over the world and the children at school that I was blessed to have the opportunity to bond with, help, and love. I will never forget the places and things that I have seen, the people that I have met, and the things that I have learned and I will carry it all with me forever. Thank you Guatemala...until we meet again xoxo
