Sometimes I forget where I am. I have to remind myself that I am, in fact, in Italy. A place that I have always admired and wanted to go. I am living a life here I have always wanted to dapple in (living and working in a sustainable agricultural lifestyle predominantly) and exploring statisfying my very basic needs without having to weed through all of the crap to get there. In many ways I have dsicovered that this is what travel is, what it allows you to do: to strip away many of life's complexities, anxieties and lets you focus on your basic needs. Needs which are always food, water, shelter, and sleep. Companionship. In doing so you allow more room, more time, for friendship, for thought, for personal space and reflection. In turn, I have found that the outcome seems to be that one becomes more self-assured, creative, or feels a stronger desire to be creative, more at peace with where they are in the world, or more driven. Or perhaps one feels surges of inspiration to change themselves. Variegated combinations of the above. I have found all of these things to be true at sssorted times during my travels, in particularily during this time of solo travel.
And yet, here I am in Italy and I can't help but think about home. This happens to the most seasoned of travelers, I think. I can't quiet my mind about exploring a different career path, one that will incoporate outdoor exploration as a predominate theme. This idea is one that has manapolized my thoughts for weeks now and it is slowing beginning to make more sense. I have gained some sort of clarity, I suppose. I have always loved the outdoors but have never really thought about how I could incorporate this love in my vocation. It has always been just a hobby and I have long admired those who have managed to make it their vocation. And now I wonder why I thought I couldn't pursue an outdoor career. Is it because we tend to box ourselves into professions, in identies long before we even give our self a chance to explore? Maybe that is what maturity means. Or self-awareness.
So I have begun to do some research and what I have found is a field that is taking off in popularity and abundance; a field that seems to mingle my varying interests: it is called outdoor behavioral therapy. What it does is provide varying degrees of therapy, be it to treat PTSD, behavioral problems in youth, victims of voilence or assult, in an outdoor setting used to encourage personal growth while teaching those how to care for, and nurture the enviornment and themselves. This concept has been around for decades and I realize that I have heard it referred by other names times before. But it makes a tremendous amount of sense as a field I could work in; one that incorporates my love to work with people, especially youth, while using therapeutic techniques in the outdoors. And by using nature as a tool for healing, there is no better way to help others see the tremendous importance of its preservation and care. Which with the state of things currently, should be at the forefront of our consciencousnes. I could pursue a career and live a lifestyle that centers around caring for and nurturing the enviornment. I never really wanted to work in an office, staring at a computer, but after 6 months of living varying lifestyles that centered around my being outdoors, I realize now that I am not sure I ever could. I can, however, say difinitively that now I could never go back.
It is strange to look back on what you thought you would learn or gather or do from a trip before you have lived it. In many ways I thought this trip would be a time for me to delve into music writing, that lyrics would come to mind at a frantic, feverish pace once I removed myself from familiarity. But the truth is that not being around the musical creativity of others, I felt a lack of it in myself. I wrote, of course, and when I look back on my writing I realize that some of it might be a good foundation for something lyrical. But what this trip really put in my face was how much I love living a life that centers around natural beauty, preservation and the ability to reach some sort of spiritual center in nature. And that for these things I must be able to give something back. To dedicate a part of my life to its preservation. So I am going home having been presented with another aspect of my personality, I'd say. One that never really thought it could have as much of a voice.
I start the journey back to the United States tomorrow. In two days I will be home.
