It has been over three weeks since I have been back in the US.
You may be wondering "What was it like acclimatizing to life in the Western World?" And to that I can't give you a solid answer, simply because I have had no time to sit and ponder about it. There were the obvious cringing moments (like listening to all the the crap being advertised on radio stations- the fact that we are comfortable enough to 'need' frivolous things such as anti-aging face cream didn't sit well with me, or when my mom complained on Thanksgiving Day that the house was too small), but no profound mind-blowing moments thus far. But onto the meat and potatoes of it...what I have found to have learned SINCE returning.
DEATH & LOVE
A hurricane of personal and family emotional issues waited for me at LAX. I have been spending a significant amount of time since I have returned with my grandparents. My grandfathers terminal cancer is, of course, the reason I returned home a month and a half early. His cancer is pretty much on everything below his belly button. One of his tumors, located on his coccyx (tailbone), has prevented him from sitting without excruciating pain since the end of July. He knows how bad it's going and began hospice recently. He is apparently not worried about death or dying, but afraid of becoming an invalid. It tore at my heart to see a man I always knew to be healthy, strong and vibrant looking old and weak. I walked into their home ready to take over. You know, drive, cook, clean, and generally do whatever I could to help out. What I found surprised me. My 84 year old Nana, who I have always thought as terribly loving but a bit 'flitty,' was on top of it. For the last SIXTY years and 7 countries they have been together my grandfather has looked over and taken care of my Nana. Now, she has stepped up to the plate. She remarked to me the other day that, "Taking care of him is my life now." Each time he goes to lay down on the couch, she is there to put a blanket over his legs. If she hears him fussing in the other room, she always has half an ear on what he's up to. I talked to a friend who was going to interview her grandmother with the help of Story Corps (http://storycorps.org/) and I thought that was a great idea, so I followed suit interviewing Granddad, Nana, and my great aunt Loie (Granddad's older sister). I recorded both of my grandparents recounting how they met and fell in love. I heard once again how my grandfather asked my nana, a small town New England girl, if she liked to travel on their second date (not knowing she would spend 20+ years raising a family overseas with him) and how after just 5 days after meeting one another on a double date (with other dates), my grandfather proposed. I never quite understood their relationship, [my grandfather a logical, highly intelligent, and complete business man a and my nana a woman who's fascinated by many things, infatuated with British tabloids and always cheery], but somehow they fit. When I asked her that during those 5 days, when did she know he was the one? She replied saying, "I don't think I thought about it, I wasn't eating and told him on the the fourth night, 'You know Gordon, we have to stop going out every night. I'm running out of clean clothes!'"
During his interview, in turn, my grandfather expressed that his greatest priority in life, since being diagnosed with three cancers, was to get his life in order, with his greatest concern being for the well-being of his wife after he passes. It was astonishing to hear this fun and wonderful business man talk about love and his marriage for the first time. As for what he wishes for me in my future, other than finding a good job that is interesting and gratifying, he hopes that I'll meet and fall in love with a guy who is as good a husband as my dad is to my mother. I couldn't help but feel the hotness of tears in my eyes, realizing that he will never meet this future man of mine. I bit my lip and fought to stay strong.
To be continued...
