KenyaCognizance

Since I've Been Back: Some thoughts on Death, Love, and Frienship PART 1

adventurekris — Fri, 10 Dec 2010 21:27:00 GMT

It has been over three weeks since I have been back in the US.

You may be wondering "What was it like acclimatizing to life in the Western World?" And to that I can't give you a solid answer, simply because I have had no time to sit and ponder about it. There were the obvious cringing moments (like listening to all the the crap being advertised on radio stations- the fact that we are comfortable enough to 'need' frivolous things such as anti-aging face cream didn't sit well with me, or when my mom complained on Thanksgiving Day that the house was too small), but no profound mind-blowing moments thus far. But onto the meat and potatoes of it...what I have found to have learned SINCE returning.

DEATH & LOVE

A hurricane of personal and family emotional issues waited for me at LAX. I have been spending a significant amount of time since I have returned with my grandparents. My grandfathers terminal cancer is, of course, the reason I returned home a month and a half early. His cancer is pretty much on everything below his belly button. One of his tumors, located on his coccyx (tailbone), has prevented him from sitting without excruciating pain since the end of July. He knows how bad it's going and began hospice recently. He is apparently not worried about death or dying, but afraid of becoming an invalid. It tore at my heart to see a man I always knew to be healthy, strong and vibrant looking old and weak. I walked into their home ready to take over. You know, drive, cook, clean, and generally do whatever I could to help out. What I found surprised me. My 84 year old Nana, who I have always thought as terribly loving but a bit 'flitty,' was on top of it. For the last SIXTY years and 7 countries they have been together my grandfather has looked over and taken care of my Nana. Now, she has stepped up to the plate. She remarked to me the other day that, "Taking care of him is my life now." Each time he goes to lay down on the couch, she is there to put a blanket over his legs. If she hears him fussing in the other room, she always has half an ear on what he's up to. I talked to a friend who was going to interview her grandmother with the help of Story Corps (http://storycorps.org/) and I thought that was a great idea, so I followed suit interviewing Granddad, Nana, and my great aunt Loie (Granddad's older sister). I recorded both of my grandparents recounting how they met and fell in love. I heard once again how my grandfather asked my nana, a small town New England girl, if she liked to travel on their second date (not knowing she would spend 20+ years raising a family overseas with him) and how after just 5 days after meeting one another on a double date (with other dates), my grandfather proposed. I never quite understood their relationship, [my grandfather a logical, highly intelligent, and complete business man a and my nana a woman who's fascinated by many things, infatuated with British tabloids and always cheery], but somehow they fit. When I asked her that during those 5 days, when did she know he was the one? She replied saying, "I don't think I thought about it, I wasn't eating and told him on the the fourth night, 'You know Gordon, we have to stop going out every night. I'm running out of clean clothes!'"

During his interview, in turn, my grandfather expressed that his greatest priority in life, since being diagnosed with three cancers, was to get his life in order, with his greatest concern being for the well-being of his wife after he passes. It was astonishing to hear this fun and wonderful business man talk about love and his marriage for the first time. As for what he wishes for me in my future, other than finding a good job that is interesting and gratifying, he hopes that I'll meet and fall in love with a guy who is as good a husband as my dad is to my mother. I couldn't help but feel the hotness of tears in my eyes, realizing that he will never meet this future man of mine. I bit my lip and fought to stay strong.

To be continued...

Final Hours in Kenya

adventurekris — Sat, 13 Nov 2010 17:26:00 GMT

60 days, 9 books, 2 illnesses, 1 mystery rash on the face, 4 bunk beds, and a myriad of smiles, laughs and tears. It is time to leave Kenya.

Since last I wrote I was able to obtain a partial refund from the Fadhili Community. The group does not usually give out refunds for people leaving early, but because I was going home for family reasons I was able to be refunded the 15,000ksh that would be payed to the host family for my accommodations for a month. Never for one moment did I think that this money was mine to keep. Since I am leaving early and cannot physically be here to do good works, I decided the money should stay and benefit those that I was working with. So, on Thursday I went out with the director of the Unity WEEP Center and one of the ladies and purchased 9,000ksh worth of fabric. This bought us five rolls of material. Two rolls of plaid fabric (one brown and one purple) 36 inches wide with a roll holding 30 meters of fabric and three rolls of solid color fabric (plain white, light blue and sky blue) 45 inches wide with 27 1/2 meters in a roll. All of this fabric will be used to make school uniforms. One of the biggest ways women at the center make money is by selling these school uniforms, since all school children are required to wear uniforms here. With this fabric, the women will now make nearly 100% profit when selling them next month. The remaining 6,000ksh is sitting in my purse in front of me right now. In an hour I will be meeting with a friend Eva (one of the school teachers from my teaching days in Kitengela)to purchase a 5ft by 3ft table for the teachers of the Noonkopir Township Primary School. The table will cost 4,300 and I will use the remaining money to buy 3-4 chairs for it. I am so happy that this money is going to be going to good use! The teachers at the school badly needed a table to sit at and grade papers while not in class. Now they will have one!

Yesterday, I said my good-byes to the women at the Unity WEEP Center. And although I rarely cry when saying good-bye, I found my self tearing up as they prayed for me and my travels. The women were so grateful for the work that I have done there over the last 5 weeks. We sat and ate lunch together (chapati- my favorite, that I helped make!) and talked. Lois looked at me and told me how much she appreciated how I taught her how to write her name. Everlyne stood and talked about our house visits together and the story of the wet bottom. (Ok, quick recap. While doing home visits in Kibera I sat on someones couch to discover it was a bit damp. The roofs commonly leak and it had rained a lot the night before. I didn't want to draw attention to that fact so sat their and felt the water soaking through my dress. When it was time to leave I jumped up, said farewell and walked out towards our next home. 200ft away from the house a woman stopped Everlyne and told her in kswahili that my bottom was soaked! True enough, my entire backside was wet, turning the color of my dress a dark orange! Everlyne handed me her shall, which I wrapped around my waist and we continued on un-phased! ) They flooded me with presents for not only me, but my entire family. I kept thinking, "I don't deserve this!I don't deserve this!" I will never EVER forget these women. They are beautiful, funny, loving and have been through more than I can imagine. One of their smiles could make me happy on the saddest of days.

And now it's time to depart. My flight leaves at 3am Monday morning. I'll fly through Istanbul and Chicago and after about 23 hrs of travel will arrive back in California. I want to thank you, readers of this blog, for all of your support. While writing the blog sometimes seemed like a chore, at the end of the day I have really enjoyed it. I hope that I have written clearly enough that you have a genuine glimpse of what life was like for me during my time in Kenya. And while you have never, and probably will never, meet these women, I ask that your thoughts and your prayers drift to these single mother friends of mine living in the largest slum in Africa with HIV.

Beatrice - Helen - Silvia - Beatrice

Lillian - Everlyn - Invioleta

Night - Margret

Lois

Much love, Kris

Remember, Remember, the Fifth of November

adventurekris — Fri, 5 Nov 2010 09:15:00 GMT

Hey All,

Today is Guy Fawkes day and I have let you all down by not updating in over a week! Yesterday, I took the day off and hung low after a dodgy meal of goat meat. :-/ It's amazing how much a day of relaxation can be good for the mind and body.

Things at my placement in Kibera are going really well. Two weeks ago I taught one of the women at the center named Lois Namboso how to write her name. She is thirty-two and has 3 children. I will NEVER forget that. Since then I have been working with her and another woman, Night, on writing and learning the alphabet. I can't tell you how much I wish I could channel my great aunt Loie (also Lois). Loie has been teaching English as a second language for over 60 years and is fluent in something like 4-5 languages. This is her bag of chips, not mine. Though I love reading and writing, English is by FAR my worst subject, and here I am teaching it! I have also never raised a child and taught them how to read. It is hard to know where to start. Other than teaching the ABCs, I have been teaching Lillian (who you may recall me telling you her story in a previous blog) how to use the computer the center just got. Here again I am challenged to remember the basics. The use of a mouse does NOT come naturally, the difference between a click and double click, highlighting words, right click, saving files, etc. Let alone the challenges of a key board! Today I will be doing home visits around Kibera with Evelyn from the center. I am truly falling in love with the 10 women at the center. I am picking up bits of Swahili and giggle with the ladies when I attempt to repeat phrases to them. I pretty much say "sawa, sawa" after everything now (the equivalent of, "ok" or "got it"). About a week a go a school girl in Kibera was playing a game called "run up and hit the mzungu girl in the leg and run away." After the second hit, I had had it. When she came up to attack my calf for the third time I whirled around just before she reached me and yelled, "Habari!" Which certainly startled her and she stopped, but unfortunately for me I chose to scream the word 'news' instead of 'hapana' which means 'NO.'I felt smug at my quickness, but then realized my error about an hour or two later. Haha.

Saturday night I tried my hand at the Nairobi downtown dance seen. I went to a cub with a group of 4 lady friends and a new guy friend Anthony. Although it is intimidating to walking to a club full of only Kenyans dancing, (and they are GOOD dancers)I had no problem dancing from 1am -5:30am and enjoyed my self thoroughly. Traveling always introduces you to so many interesting people. For example, my new friend Anthony is a nurse and works for Doctors Without Borders (MSF-Médecins Sans Frontières). Today he heads back to Sudan for 3 months. He has worked in Sudan and in the Congo and I defiantly picked his brain about working for a company and in a job I have dreamt about!

So, how will you remember, remember THIS fifth of November, 2010? I am in Kenya and about to take a matatu into the largest slum in east Africa. While we all can't be in my shoes, how can you make today unique? Can you change someone's life in a small way? I bet you can.

Hugs and Kisses,

Kris

Jina langu ni Kris. Mimi ni Mmarekani.

adventurekris — Mon, 25 Oct 2010 16:45:00 GMT

Greetings all,

I cannot believe it has been a week since I last updated. As to my health, I am happy to update that other than a lingering cough, I am feeling nearly back to my old self. I have gotten the impression that people at home and around the world reading this believe that I am not having a good time in Kenya and I want to correct that misunderstanding. My experience in Kenya, as expected, have been challenging. I have found that my emotions are worn close to the surface and my moods swing like like a baboon in a tree. My mind struggles to process things I am seeing here, emotions I have about those I love at home, and finding homeostasis with my life here in Kenya. I have good days and bad days, but most are a mixture of both extremes.

Good news! My placement with the Unity WEEP Center in Kibera is picking up! What started out by simply making bracelets and passing the time away has matured into something a little more structured. I am getting to know the 8 HIV+ women there, and today began teaching them English! They know WAY more English than I know Swahili, and though I love teaching environmental education and science, I am a poor teacher when it comes to English. I never thought this silly dyslexic woman would find herself teaching English! The center also recently received a computer to use. I have created a form for them to record their home visits and will begin teaching the women how to use the computer once Microsoft Office is installed. Once again- me? Teaching about computers? Ha! It's a challenge, but I welcome it. There are so many stories that I hear from the women here that I want to tell you all! Today the director of the center, Gladys, told me about a woman named Lilian who has come through the center. Lilian went to the clinic one day and discovered she was HIV+. She came home and reported this to her husband. The next time she went out to buy vegetables she returned home to find him gone along with most of their belongings. (This is VERY common by the way. Most of the women at the center were married and living with husbands until they discovered they were HIV+. And of course the majority of the men have it, but think of it as the woman being 'dirty.') Lilian, having nothing, returned to her parents homestead in the country. They were both deceased but she stayed in their home for a while with her son. She became VERY weak and sick. She moved in with her brother in Nairobi. A woman from the center named Ronda saw this woman Lilian on the street and took her into a clinic. Still sick, but now with ARVs (antiretrovirals) she returned to her brothers apartment. She was required to take the medicine at 9pm each night and kept asking her brother for the time, to ensure she took it on time. By the seconds week, he was wondering what was going on. He said, "Why hasn't your malaria medicine been working? It has been over a week? What kind of sick are you?" When he discovered she had HIV, he told her, in front of her son, that the only thing he had for her was a coffin. When she came back from getting vegetables to cook, she found all of her things outside and the door locked. Her brother went on to steal her identity card, claim her as deceased and collect money from various places. Lilian returned back to the Unity WEEP Center where she and her starving son were fed. The women there felt for her and funds were raised for her to have a place to live and food to eat. I have met Lilian and now she is strong and working to learn how to run her own business.

Over the weekend it rained a number of times. Kenya is now entering is lighter of the two rainy seasons. Rain (which violently pounds from the sky in torrents) makes the roads around here, which are primarily dirt, VERY muddy.

Finally, and most importantly, I have decided to return home early. Due to some illness in the family, I have decided to return in mid November to help out the family in whatever ways possible. For the last number of weeks I have woken with a gnawing in my gut telling me I should go home and be with my family. The notion was immediately followed my a feeling of shame. Shame that I would want to leave Kenya early after working so hard to get here, that I would be disappointing those that supported me to come here, and to the people of Kenya I might not help. With time, and a number of curious acts, I have come to better understand that my family is most important and that I have already done more than I realize since being here. Making the decision to return home in three weeks surprisingly flooded me with relief.

Thanks for all of the love and I apologize for the choppy post.

Pictures from the beginning of my trip can be seen here:

http://www.facebook.com/album.php?aid=2412030&id=6403463&l=5cab925b54

and here:

http://www.facebook.com/album.php?aid=2416751&id=6403463&l=72ad9505b6

And the most recent pictures can be viewed here:

http://www.facebook.com/album.php?aid=2419974&id=6403463&l=ee721a1ae7

Cheers,

Kris

Malaria, or NOT Malaria

adventurekris — Mon, 18 Oct 2010 16:35:00 GMT

Dear Friends and Family,

*PLEASE READ THE ENTIRE PASSAGE*

Two days ago I started feeling crummy and figured I had another cold. However I was up at 2:30am this morning couching up a fit with a head ache. I took a hot shower (my second since arriving in Kenay) and eventually fell asleep on the couch. I felt hot and cold and got the chills. 15 minutes ago I left a clinic and was told, after some blood work, that I have the malaria parasite. I was perscribed meds to take for the next three days that will get rid of it. Also some medicine for my couch and headaches. I am going home to rest now and would greatly appreciate your thoughts and prayers.

That was Friday morning. I spent the rest of the day laying in bed napping or attempting to nap while the two year old Roy I live with was shrieking. That night I was visited by my good buddy and safari guide Mike. He defiantly cheered me up and made me laugh into a coughing fit. After eating only a couple of crackers during the day I at a full dinner (because it was chapati and lentils- my favorite!). I slept much better Friday night only waking to drink water and drift back into oblivion.

Saturday started with a very worried phone call from my parents. I was feeling much better, but still very weak with a cough. My buddy Jackson, who just happens to be my other safari guide, picked me up at 9:30am. He had to drop off some new volunteers at their placements and knew I was bored laying in bed so he invited me along for the ride. At 2pm after seeing the girls off, he dropped me off at Nairobi Hospital. I didn't think I needed to be there, but didn't like the thought of my parents being worried about me. After 5 hours of waiting, lab work, x-rays and a very embarrassing marriage proposal from the male nurse who drew my blood, I was told by a doctor: YOU DON'T HAVE MALARIA. I was pissed and incredibly happy at the same time. He said that the clinic I went to was unreliable, or just wanted me to spend money. Jackson picked me up at 7:30 and I bought us a pizza dinner to celebrate.

Today, Monday, I went to the women's center for 3 hours since I was feeling o.k. In other news, yesterday I finished my 6th book since I left California. It was called "The Help," by Kathryn Stockett. I loved the book and wish it didn't end. Last night I started a John Updike. Finally, I leave you with two quotes from the last book I read, "A Picture of Dorian Gray," by Oscar Wilde.

Live! Live the wonderful life that is in you! Let nothing be lost upon you. Be always seaching for new sensations. Be afraid of nothing...

Yet, as had been said of him before, no theory of life seemed to him to be of any importance, compared with life itself.

Love to all, Kris

Unity WEEP Center, Kibera

adventurekris — Wed, 13 Oct 2010 16:35:00 GMT

You build a small wall in your heart, a barrier, to keep you from becoming emotionally overwhelmed. The wall protects you from the dark stormy waters of other people's reality. The cruelty, the helplessness, the poverty, and the sorrow. Yesterday, I glanced over that wall and dipped my fingertips in the turbid waters that lay behind it. And I will never be the same.

Sunday I moved to Nairobi in an area known as Jamhuri. On Monday I began my new placement in Kibera. Kibera is the largest slum in Kenya and the second largest slum in all of Africa. The population is approximately 170,000 with the majority of the residents lacking access to basic services, including electricity and running water. In Kibera I am working at a place called the Unity WEEP Center. The center is for women who are HIV+. Currently, the group of 10 women make jewelery, clothes, bags and other things to sell. The program aim is to not only bring in money for these women and their family, but also to teach them how to run their own businesses. The women also have a place to go to to support one another and share fellowship. On my first day there I spoke with the head lady Gladice about the history of the program and then helped make 4 bracelets out beads made of dyed bones. These bracelets will be sold for 200Ksh each ($2.50). The walk from my new placement to the center takes about 25 minutes along dirty roads, down alleys, and across some railroad tracks. The women that work there are all beautiful in their own way. The are, from what I gather, between the ages of 23 and 50 years old. At 3pm I walked home with another volunteer and housemate Hannah (who is working in a nearby school) and went to the Nakimatt Junction. The junction is the most western shopping center around, looking almost like a mall you could find in America. I met up with my Kenyan friends Jackson and Mike for some soda and laughs.

Yesterday was a trying day. At 10:30am I met up with Jane from the Unity WEEP Center and we went for a house visit. First we went to another woman name Jane's home. He entire home was smaller than my upstairs room at the Establishment. She is 35, was diagnosed as HIV+ in 2000, and has three kids. Her AIDs is rathe rbad and she currently has pneumonia. We said hello for two minutes and then the Jane's began chatting away in Swahili as I sat there. Then we began to chat. I told them all about my family and the Establishment (they said it sounds VERY organized- they couldn't do that in Kenya). We talked about the difference between the US and Kenya. They said that people here believe that if they move to America there will be no problems- people don't have problems in America. What I found most interesting was our conversation about adoption. They couldn't understand why Americans would want to come to Africa and adopt a child here. Since I am a strong supported of adoption and hope that one day I will be able to do so I said, "Well, because there are so many children out there without parents that if I am willing to be their mother, I should." (The world is already over populated!) But, they said, if you ARE capable of having your own children, why would you want someone elses? Well, maybe I would like to have one child of my own, and adopt another or two... They did not understand why I would takes a child that wasn't my own if I was able to have children of my own. After two hours of chatting we left and met up with Ruth another woman from the center. Ruth is also a graduate from WEEP (Women's Equality Empowerment Program) and owns a company sewing dresses. I was able to see her shop and chat with her a while. Afterward, we walked back to the center and had a snack for lunch. Next, we left the center with two of the students (the center also has a school with three classes for children ages 2-7, more like preschool/kindergarden). A seven year old named Austin and his nearly 3 year old sister Melody. We walked through the slum for nearly 25 minutes going to their home.I got to see the deep and true center of Kibera. Open sewers were everywhere. I slipped (Dang you Chacos!) and my foot slid into the sewer. Filth splashed over my foot and up my leg. WAY gross- I am not easily grossed out, but this was horrid. We arrived at their home and Austin unlocked the door. Their mather is one of the women from the center and she was at a conference. I watched as the children changed out of their school clothes and neatly put them away. Austin, actign as man of the house, filled a bucket with water, as Melody got the soap for me to wash my foot off. Melody is one of the cutest kids I have ever seen. She was asking Jane in Swahili if I could stay for tea. The four of us walked aroudn the building (which involved NOT falling into a large pit and jumping from rock to rock) to another woman's home. Here I met Elizabeth. She has three kids and when she became sick 3 years ago her husband left her. Jane said when they met her she was close to death and couldn't walk. She struggles to find money to feed her children and send them to school. She is very weak and rarely leave the house. How is she to make money? While I was sitting in Elizabeth's home looking at all the Obama pictures on the wall as the chatted in Swahili, I started to crumble inside a bit. I began to truly imagine her life and it was overwhelming. We prayed together and I took a photo with her in front of her home. Later that evening I came home to find my housemates watching a movie which I was inevitably sucked into. It was called, "The Rise and Fall of Ida Amin." It was all about that Ugandan dictator and child soldiers- horrible, absolutely horrible. At the end of the film I could not stand it any longer. I went into my room and cried. And cried.

Today I went with Jane again to the center. I played with the kids a bit and sat down to make 7 bracelets. While I may have complained normally about sitting around and making bracelets, I welcomed the silence and simplicity of the work. Tomorrow I will go on some more house visits. The center does not have much planned for me, so I believe I will stay with them two weeks and then move on to another project. We shall see.

Until then, thank you for your love and support.

And never, EVER forget how lucky you are in life.

Hugs and Kisses,

Kris

Leaving Kitengela

adventurekris — Sun, 10 Oct 2010 13:15:00 GMT

Hey All, The rest of my safari trip was amazing and the trip to the coast of Kenya was fantabulous! Though I felt a little guilty taking a mini vacation so early in my trip, I was able to relax and enjoy the company of wonderful people. I found the old Kris (the one that smiles often and is happy with life), met some amazing people, swam in the Indian Ocean and laughed a lot. This afternoon or evening I will be moving into my new place in Nairobi. Yesterday I was able to meet up with a new friend and Kitengela local, Jacob. Two weeks ago one of my students took me home and introduced me to her brother, Jacob, an artist. When saw some of Jacob's artwork I was impressed. He has had no formal training and yet his work is wonderful! I also had tea and snacks yesterday afternoon with one of the teachers I worked with, Eva, who I am very fond of. She made mounds of snacks for me and I felt her home feeling content and stuffed! This morning I went on a RUN! That's right, a RUN! I was SO excited to finally exercise and though the run was short (due to air quality or my long absence from all things fitness) I felt great afterwards. It had been a full month since I last ran. Who knows if I will be able to find a safe place to run in Nairobi, but I am going to try and do yoga in the mornings a couple days a week.

So, tomorrow starts a new day for me and a new placement doing HIV work. I am excited and anxious. I want to get to work and establish some sort of regular schedule. I will have much more to report at the end of the week. Here is my new address:

Kris Roudebush
c/o Fadhili Community
PO Box 25759
00100 Nairobi
KENYA

For some new pictures from my safari and trip to the coast go to this link. Pictures should be able to be viewed even if you do not have a Facebook account. http://www.facebook.com/album.php?aid=2416751&id=6403463&l=72ad9505b6

Also, check the link listed in the last story(On Safari), since I have added some new photos to that one as well.

Thank you for all of your thoughts and prayers!

Kris

On Safari

adventurekris — Sun, 3 Oct 2010 19:14:00 GMT

Firstly, I apologize for taking so long to update. On Thursday I sat down to write a nice long post and the power went out. Because I am in a rush for time I will give you the nitty gritty on what's going on.

- Last week was my last week teaching school. I gave a test for the 79 grade 6 kids, with an average score of 73% and a test for the 39 grade 7 kids, with an average score of 76%. I was glad that, for the most part, my teaching sunk in with these kids. It was a pleasure working with the teachers and head master at the school. They REALLY appreciated me being there and wished they could hire me to be on their staff full time.

- On Thursday I took a matatu into Nairobi for the first time by myself (one transfer and 2 hrs). At one point I heard chirping. I looked over to see a crate marked "100 day old chicks." A hundred little yellow fluff balls were chirping away right next to me! While waiting for my next matatu to leave the railway station I got hit on by a guy who told me we could make "babies like Obama." Wonderful. When I got there I was able to go to Nakimart (the Kenyan Walmart) and buy 4 new books. I have read 4 books in a period of 22 days and finding book stores is a challenge!

-Friday morning I left on safari with two awesome girls named Amia and Stephanie (also from the states). Our guides Mike and Jackson are a wealth of knowledge and funny as all get out. We drove to Masaai Mara and had a quick run through of the park just before night fall. We saw lions, giraffes, elephants, zebras, buffalo, impala, etc. The sunset was spectacular! We were camped out in a tent with 4 beds, a toilet, sink, and shower (!!!). It was REALLY cool.

- Yesterday we drove around Masaai Mara all day looking at animals! On top of the animals we had already seen, we saw ostrich, hippo, a momma cheetah and her cub, and my favorite a leopard up in a tree! It was a great day. Today we did a sun rise drive through of the park and saw some more animals.

- News on my placement: The placement in Kitengela at Saint Teresa's was a dead end. Apparently they don't need/want a volunteer there, so in order to do HIV work I will have to move. Right now it looks as if I will be moving to Nairobi. That being said, please STOP SENDING MAIL to the address I gave you. I will let you know of my new address when I do. I was planning to move out of Kitengela on Tuesday, after the end of my safari, but my plans have changed. Amia and Stephanie are taking a bus to Mombasa on Monday night and I have decided to join them. I had hoped to make it to the coast during my trip, and since I have two awesome potential travel partners all ready to go, I should go with them before they fly home to the states on Friday! This will put my placement back by 3 days, but I think it is worth it.

- On a side note, I am doing much better mentally. I know some people at home were a little worried about me, because I sounded sad and homesick- which I was for a time. I am mostly content here and this trip with the girls, especially, has made me very happy. I have made some good buddies here, which makes all the difference in the world! Also, my cold is gone, I'm sleeping through the night, and I haven't gotten sick yet! Yippee!

- Thanks everyone for all the love from a far. I haven't received any mail yet, but I know it's on the way! I love helping people here and I miss you all back home!I am sending a GIANT international hug!

Until next time,

Kris

PS- Don't forget you can view some pictures of my trip here (open to the public):

http://www.facebook.com/album.php?aid=2412030&id=6403463&l=5cab925b54

A Britt, a Chilean, a Kenyan and an American walk into a bar...

adventurekris — Sat, 25 Sep 2010 15:27:00 GMT

I realize this post is insanely long. I feel the need to write in detail so that those at home and around the US who have supported me emotionally and financially, can fully understand my experiences here.

Last night was crazy.

We were supposed to go to Lake Victoria. We left Kitengela at 4:30pm, the beginning of peak traffic. What would have taken us 45 minutes to the railway station took 2 hrs and 10 minutes. We were literally parked for periods of 5- 10 mins. I was very hot in the matatu and I was sweating like a pig in heat. We jumped out of the matatu a half mile early, since we could walk faster. It was now 6:40pm and beginning to get dark. We began to walk. I focused on not loosing Lucy in the masses of people, not tripping and eating it, not stepping in disgusting pools of some kind of liquid, and most importantly, not getting hit by a car, bus or matatu (they do NOT stop or hesitate for people). It was insane, weaving in between people, cars, roads and sidewalks. People were constantly speaking to me (there is no peace for a mzungu in a field of Kenyans). They grabbed my arm, asked me questions, or stared at me. Lucy was chatting with a man who, evidently, became our guide to the bus depot. He even shooed men way from us. When we finally made it to the crowded and dirty outdoor bus depot at about five after seven, it was dark. We sat on a rickety bench and stared at our would be bus. It wasn't a sleeper bus, like I had been told, but a large bus we would be crowded into. We waited for Christabel (who works for Fadhili and is Lucy's best friend). I was, to say the least, overwhelmed. I was near tears and freaked out. I have done some crazy traveling and jostling through cites, but this was insane. I hated Nairobi and I had a bad feeling about the current situation. I told Shilu that the thought of just staying in Nairobi tonight and returning home tomorrow and run through my mind. She said the thought had occurred to her as well and would stay with me if I didn't want to go. The trip to Lake Victoria would cost me at least 5,000 ksh for the weekend anyways, a good amount. When Christabel arrived around 7:30pm, I told her Shilu and I were going to just get dinner in Nairobi, stay there the night, and go home the next day. We would be fine and wanted her, Lucy and Tomas to go on the trip. She canceled the trip. CRAP! I didn't want this! I tried to reason with her, it was silly to cancel the whole trip to see her Aunt. No, she wouldn't budge. No, no, no, no, I hate this feeling! I did this! I reconsidered just going, but I thought of trying to sleep on the bus, holding my pee for hours, transferring to another bus after a 7 hr ride, and then doing it all over again on Sunday was... a lot. No, I was not mentally prepared for this.

We left the bus depot, and I was thoroughly pissed off at myself. I fought tears again, this time because I had just ruined a trip for everyone. I had to push those thoughts out of my head, because once again I was fighting the masses in the streets of Nairobi, now in the dark. Christabel and Lucy charged ahead and I scrambled not to loose them. The people were a little more aggressive now. I nearly got hit by a matatu (Lucy stands on the other side and laughs at this) as I react and run quicker than I knew I could. I tripped on an uneven sidewalk. My backpack flys over my head and my water bottle sails 15 ft ahead of me. Luckily, I didn't hit the ground and Shilu helps me get my water bottle. I tried, while waiting for traffic numerous times, to convince Christabel they should still go on the trip, we could easily call a cab and be fine- their bus didn't leave until 9pm! No, she says. She made up her mind and isn't upset. After walking with Christabel for 25 mins, we parted ways- she to head home on the other side of Nairobi. Tomas said she new of a good restaurant nearby, so we walked that direction. A man approached me and asked me how I was. Rather than ignore him, like I do most people that talk to me on the street, I said, "I am fine, how are you?" As we continued to walk, he said he was fine and began asking me for money, he grabbed me by the arm and clung to me. I kept walking and wrenched my arm way. He began talking to Tomas. Another man off the street quickly caught up with us and told the guy to leave us alone. When he was gone, Shilu asked me if I was OK. I was. I just wanted to get the hell off the streets. We got to the crowded bar and restaurant and finally found a seat. Once seated in the smoky bar I relaxed. I ordered a small bottle of strawberry fruit wine. It's sweetness can only be compared to that of cough syrup, but it calmed my nerves. After some food and chatting with my housemates I was feeling a bit better, but still as if I had disappointed them. We called a taxi driver we know and he drove us home at 9:45. When I got home I crashed and slept THE WHOLE NIGHT THROUGH! I finally got out of bed at 8:40 this morning to the sound of shouting coming from the TV. I walked into the living room to find a blaring televangelist yelling in Swahili. The kind that screams and shouts, people fall to the ground, he continues to yell at them while they babble and convulse, and suddenly he blesses them and they stand up crying and praising the Lord. Wow.

Today has been a low key day thus far. I just finished my second book since being in the country. The first book was, "A Widow for One Year" by John Irving, which was good (I like John Irving's writing), but not exactly a happy book. The second, given to me by my mom, was "The Soloist" by Steve Lopez. The book is a true heartwarming story of the struggle of a LA journalist befriending and trying to help a homeless musician with schizophrenia. My cold is getting slightly better and moving to my chest. I still have pain in my left jaw area that is a mystery to me. I will be seeing some nurse friends next week and will consult them. My current home craving is for a big fat messy burrito!

Love to all, Kris

Teaching

adventurekris — Thu, 23 Sep 2010 15:16:00 GMT

After waiting for some action, I finally got some- Volunteer action that is! On Monday I walked to the Noonkopir Township Primary School (a 25 min walk from where I am staying). There I met the headmaster, Jackson Kaasha. He and another teacher Margret, showed Leah and I around the school. They have seven classes or grades (1-7). Each time I went before a class and said, "Good Morning," they all stood and said, "Good Morning Teacher, Strive for excellence." 'Strive for excellence' is their school motto- so cute! I am now teaching science for them for grades 6 and 7. So far this week in class 6 I have covered the reproductive organs and diseases, and in class 7 I have covered the circulatory system and drugs. I LOVE TEACHING! Especially science and sex-ed! It has given me an opportunity to relearn a lot of things (like all the compartments in and vessels that lead to the heart, and how it works). The headmaster says that I should change my career when I return home to America, because I was born to be a teacher. My year 6 class is large (68 students) and the students are ages 12-13. My year 7 class is a little smaller at 52 and are ages 14-15. I think Tuesday (my first day teaching) was my best day I have had in Kenya thus far. I finally feel useful! The teachers and headmaster are SO appreciative to have me here. All of the teachers welcomed me and I was even in a staff meeting yesterday! It is fun, but challenging teaching, especially with this cold. The weather has been hot and dry (VERY dusty) so it makes my throat sore. My housemate Leah, who started the program with me, moved out of her placement with me yesterday. She had complained to IVHQ that we were not doing what we had requested (HIV work) and asked to be moved. As to what is happening with my future with HIV/AIDS work here is the situation: Apparently the head nurse at the Saint Teresa Clinic (the one with the dead fish handshake) believes they don't need or want volunteers. However, all the nurses WANT a volunteer. So, the head lady is leaving at the end of this week and I can start placement after that. Because I recognized my work was greatly appreciated at the Noonkopir school, I didn't want to simply work there for 4 days and leave. Thus I will be teaching there all of next week as well. After that I will go to my HIV placement at Saint Teresa's. If for some reason I don't feel well needed there I will go back to teaching. That's the current plan.

This weekend my housemates (Lucy- Kenyan housemom (20), Tomas - volunteer from Chili (22) and Shelu- volunteer from England (26))and I will be going to visit Lake Victoria! I have learned my way around the town of Kitengela pretty well. Though I haven't been able to work out here, I have found that if I walk to school, home for lunch, back to school and walk home at the end of the day I have walked (more like hiked) for an hour and 40 minutes each day! Quite the work out. My insomnia and homesickness is gone, and I only wake up during the night because of my cold. Uploading pictures has been an issue due to slow connections, but I have posted some pictures on facebook. You can see them here:

http://www.facebook.com/album.php?aid=2412030&id=6403463&l=5cab925b54

Thank you everyone for all of your love and support. I am incredibly lucky to have so many people thinking and praying about me!

Kisses from Kenya,

Kris

PS- I got my hair braided! Hehehehehe :)

Outreach Weekend

adventurekris — Sun, 19 Sep 2010 23:25:00 GMT

Well well well, where were we... last I updated I was about to head off for two days of outreach. Here are the details:

When leaving Nairobi on Friday morning I got an amazing view of the Rift Valley. There were signs boasting, "best third world view." The view was wonderful. We stopped for pictures and for people to by gifts/trinkets. Our first stop was the KCC slum school around 10am. KCC is a large dairy company in Kenya. The slum is set up on their land near their factory, and thus they could be kicked out at any time. Presently there are 6000 people living in the slum in shacks that are constructed from rusty corrugated iron, cardboard boxes, old plastic and cow dung. The KCC school instructs about 130 children ages 2 1/2- 12 yrs old from the slum. There we played with the children who immediately attached themselves to us. The children LOVE getting their pictures taken and then shown the picture on your camera. We did the Hokey Pokey and played Duck Duck Goose. This gave me the rare opportunity to race a 8 yr old Kenyan! (We tied!) I looked in on the five classrooms there and watched a 3 yr old vomit (lovely). My favorite part was reading the children's book "Chicka Chicka Boom Boom" out loud to the children as their teacher translated. Then I gave them the book to keep! Next we walked down the street to the KCC slum. It was.. a slum. the children we saw here do not, and probably will not, go to school. We were told that a couple of months ago a man living in the slum found out he was HIV+ and lit himself on fire. Along with his life, this act burned down 10 homes. I cant imagine...
After we left KCC we stopped in a grocery store for lunch. I ate what was supposed to be beef pizza... interesting and drank some OJ (since I haven't been eating that much fruit and I was getting sick). We then went to Hells Gate National Park. Seven people in the group opted to ride rented bikes through the park-what an adventure! After the first 3 km we saw something running towards the road... gazelles! They ran right in front of us! So cool. Then came the zebras in herds around us! It drizzled and I began to sing Toto's song "Africa" ( I bless the rain down in Africa...) while biking. :) After 10 km we met up with the van and the rest of the volunteers. From there we were to go on a hike, for what I thought would be a short hike. We started hiking down. Then we passed a sign, "Danger: Flash Flood Area." It was drizzling with the prospect of real rain and every Poly Escapes trip leader fiber in my body was thinking "bad idea!" I expressed my worry to the four Fadhili guys (our leaders) and they said I had to come since we were not hiking back that way. I reluctantly followed. I found myself hiking in a canyon similar to ones n Zion National Park with high walls on either side. The walls weren't red or quite as tall, but instead a crumbly grey/white rock. There were some areas that were challenging to get up or down (for me they were FUN but we were hiking with 4 volunteers over 50-all doctors from the US and Austrailia). They needed some assistance and I began to worry. Finally, we got to a tall wall about 18-20 ft high that we were all expected to climb. It was probably only at 5-8, but with no ropes, not helmets and no crash pads it was not good. Wilderness first aid scenario anyone? Myself and others said it was too dangerous. The Fadhili guys complained and reluctantly turned around. This whole time I am just WAITING for something bad to happen. And it did. Raj, one of the doctors, got accidentally pulled down while assisting one of the other doctors down. He tumbled head over heals in front of me. He cut his head and scraped his arm, the other doctor had a sore neck. It could have been much worse. We returned to the van 3 hrs after we had left and had to bike back. I saw a beautiful giraffe, some worthogs (like Pumba from Lion King!), and had a scare with a buffalo (apparently they are dangerous out here!). By the time we got back to the bike rental shop it was nearly dark. I finished the night with a shower (that started off warm, but the power shut off half way thru and I had to call it done in the dark) and half of a beer. I was beat, but still ended up only getting 6 hrs of sleep due to my new cold and insomnia.
Yesterday. I joined the group at breakfast at 7am and then packed up food for distribution that day. We cut up and wrapped up 40 kilos of vegetable oil and 190 kilos of maize flour. At 10:30 we headed to the IDP camp. These "Internally Displaced People" were killed, raped and removed from their homes as a result of the 2007 elections. They are living in tents given to them by the UN. These tents were meant to last 6 months, but they have been there for 3 years. There are few men (many were killed) and those that remain mine stone illegally on the land that is not theirs. The women have no work, many walk to the road and work as prostitutes to give their family some income. If you look around the camp you can see quite a number of 3 yr old children, products of the violent rapes in 2007. The older children walk some 5 km to school, but the younger child up until recently had no where to go. Fadhili volunteers (like myself) fund raised and built them two school rooms just two weeks ago.While I was there I got a tour of the tent camp (500 ppl) and helped saw wood for the construction of the tables and benches to go in the school rooms. I spoke to a women there who has 9 children. Her husband used to be a business mechanic, now he has nothing. They have nothing from their past life with them. I spoke with James, from Fadhili, about the women's program that he runs. He goes and talks to women and girls about hygiene, the phases of life, menstruation, sex and HIV. I am VERY interested in this program and plan to spend some my Saturdays traveling with him and giving talks. From there we drove to Nakuru to see the Gioto Garbage Slum. This experience was... unforgettable and overwhelming. I will spend more time later describing it, but needless to say I relive that I will changing my plans so I can spend at least a month of my time there profiling and interviewing children to make them eligible to receive donations to get them out of there and send them to boarding school. The smell was overwhelming, there were pigs and dogs right beside people picking for food. Children everywhere, most without shoes. And they live.. right there. I met a woman there who has 14 children (the eldest is 14). Before last week she was living with 5 of them. Three more of them were reconnected with her last week and she was evicted from her wood shanty that was falling down. Three years ago this woman became sick (severe arthritis that keeps her now from walking) and her husband up and left her. He has come back once, to sleep with her, and left again. Fadhili volunteers and a local pastor helped move her into another structure for her and her 8 younger children. When they first saw her, her youngest children they were staving and unconscious. Profiling children like hers could get them out of that horrible life an give them a shot at a future.
During my darker moments of homesickness over the last 4 days I have dwelled on the time period: THREE MONTHS. It seemed an eternity. I even questioned leaving early. But after yesterday and what I saw, it confirmed that I NEED to stay for the entirety of my trip. For some reason I thought I would see at least a couple groups of mzungus (Swahili word for white people) volunteering in some of the slum places we visited. But that simply wasn't true. There were NO ONE else helping those places I visited except Fadhili volunteers and a couple local pastors. So it hit me like a slap in the face, the age old questions "If not you, who? If not now, when?" I am here NOW and I am able. Let's get to work...

Cheers from Kenya,

Kris

A Man and His Hose

adventurekris — Thu, 16 Sep 2010 15:38:00 GMT

Cheers,
Yesterday I saw a man peeing in his front yard on the side of a highway. I thought, "how typical." Then I realized, as we drove closer, that he was actually watering the yard with a small hose. That was more surprising. Hehehe.

Its a long one..
Let me start with the bad parts and move on to happy things. Ok? Good.

The last two nights I have had terrible insomnia and homesickness, and the night before that I was flying/traveling for 24 hrs. The first night here I went to bed at 10, woke up at 1:30am and finally feel back to sleep at 4:30 and woke at 7:40. Last night, I went to bed at 9pm (because my body was completely drained) and didn't fall asleep until around 1:30am. My brain couldn't stop running, and of course, I only thought about horrible things. Here's something I wrote last night in my journal :"The mind is the most dangerous demon there is. It is fierce and relentless. No amount of physical strength can stop it. " The one (and only) thing that can quiet my mind is reading. Perhaps that is why I love reading so much. I did however take a 3 hr nap this morning, which was wonderful. I think my one of biggest things here is that I don't have a friend yet. The girl Leah that started the day I started, and is living in the same house as me doing HIV work is... odd. She's nice enough but immature in most ways. Defiantly not warm and fuzzy. Most of my friends would hug and soothe someone who was upset, even if they had just met them 5 minutes before.

This morning I was supposed to start my volunteer work in Saint Teresa's Clinic in Kitengela (the town I am now living in 45 mins southeast of Nairobi). We had breakfast (milky sweet tea, bread and butter- or this "fruit" spread that tastes like liquid fruit roll-ups) and walked 10 minutes to the clinic. The clinic and dispensary was very clean and nice inside. (I was astonished!) We went into the office of the head lady, a petite tidy southeast Asian looking nun with a handshake like a dead fish. She informed Lucy (the girl I am living with and who is acting as my mum, tho she is only 20) in a tiny voice that they were not aware we were coming and were not prepared for us. She asked that someone from our program come speak to her. So... we left. When I got home I passed out for three hours. I was SO thankful I could fall asleep. We will see what happens with THAT situation. I just want to start working!

Yesterday I bought a phone here. It cost about $22 USD to buy the phone and SIM card! I know, so cheap! However, I chewed up nearly $9 calling and texting the US. No bueno. I will now only use it on rare occasions and as a way for my parents and others around here to get a hold of me.

Have you ever been to some of the nastier parts of Mexico? The smells here are similar to that, but usually more potent. Trash and dirty water are everywhere.

Tomorrow I will leave here at 5:30 am to go back into Nairobi. There I will be on a two day outreach trip. I will visit the worst areas of Nairobi including a slum, a IDP camp (internally displaced persons camp created as a result of the 2007 elections here- look it up) and a garbage slum (people who literally live off heaps of rubbish). I will be able to help build a school in the IDP camp and also will visit Hell's Gate National Park (sounds lovely) for some adventure. I expect these two days to be eye opening, at the very least.

If any of you would like to write me, my new address is:

Kris Roudebush
PO Box 548 Kintengela
KENYA

Surprisingly uncomplicated! Mail and love from friends & family would be wonderful. I am not sure if I want to remain in this town for the entirety of my 3 months, since it would be nice to see other areas of the country. My mom has her surgery today to have her gall bladder removed. I hope that goes quickly and easily!

Sorry the post is so scatter brained; that's just how I am right now.

Laugh often (and maybe a little extra for me),

Kris

PS. I will attempt to attach a photo taken of me on my first day here. The little girl (Anna) is the daughter of Maggie and Oliver. I spent my first night in Nairobi in their home with 15 other volunteers! So cute!

Kenya Day 1

adventurekris — Tue, 14 Sep 2010 22:24:00 GMT

Dearest Friends and Family,

Jambo! My flight arrived at 8am this morning and I am officially living in Kenya! Getting a visa and going through customs was a breeze and I quickly found Oliver who works with the IVHQ. Myself and another volunteer from Canada rode with him back to his apartment on the other side of Nairobi. I walked into a room with 6 girls and 4 bunk beds and was overwhelmed. Within an hour of being at the the apartment, I was asked by one of the girls (who's been here for two weeks) to join her in visiting the orphanage shes been volunteering at. We walked into the compound and I was immediately surrounded by beautiful children holding my hands. I twirled them around like a ballerina and they all wanted to know my name and where I was from. So, in my first day her I have already visited and even TAUGHT in an orphanage class room full of 30+ four year olds... if you can call it teaching! Haha! Tomorrow have my orientation and will find out my placement. I am secretly wishing that they send me to Mombasa (on the coast), instead of working in Nairobi and Kibera (the largest slum in Africa- located outside of Nairobi). We shall see...

Tonight I may go out to dinner at a place called Carnivore. Apparently it is THE restaurant in Nairobi- look it up! By the way, I am so glad I visited India before this, it has prepared me A LOT. The driving is scary, but not as bad as India (sometimes they use turn signals here!) The air quality is...poor to say the least. I haven't exercised since Thursday and feel like a fatty. I dont know what opportunities I will have to work out. It is NOT safe to just go out on a run around here. Though, like in India, I feel like a movie star- people stare at me where ever I go! Something about blond hair, blue eyes and light skin...

This trip is not going to be a walk in the park; life here is dirty and hard. I've already gotten cat called and am constantly looking out for pickpockets. Here's something I jotted in my journal just minutes before landing on African soil while reflecting on the journey ahead of me: "I must have tricked myself into being this brave!"

Keep laughing about life; despite its sorrows. Maybe laugh a little extra for me.

Much Love,

Kris

Two Days to Go

adventurekris — Fri, 10 Sep 2010 02:02:00 GMT

Hey All!

In just two days I fly to Kenya! Right now I am visiting friends outside of Philadelphia. Today I drive up into the Pocono Mountains for two nights at Kirkwood Camp. Kirkwood (the 288 acres of beautiful land and the people)has had a preeminent roll in my life. It's nice to know that my last days before leaving the US can be spent walking through familiar woods and having some solitary time in a special place.

My feet will touch Kenyan soil at 7:30am on Tuesday morning (thats 9:30pm on Monday in California) in Nairobi where I will be picked up someone from the Fadhili Community. My biggest anxiety know is not so much the travel its self, but the loneliness that I know will come during my first week or two in Kenya. Like a kid at sleep away camp I am sure homesickness will flood over me when it's time to close my eyes and call it a day. The thought that I wont know any one on the CONTINENT is overwhelming. I am however, very excited to experience a new culture, learn my new responsibilities, meet my host family and fellow volunteers, and get to work. Bring it ON!

I've been spending a lot of time recently thinking about all of those who contributed towards this trip. I was blown away with the support received and am so thankful and appreciative for those that helped me make this trip happen. Thank you again and I send big hugs. I will post my address here as soon as I find out what it is.

Farewell for now. Next time I updates I'll be in Africa!

Kuagana vizuri marafiki (farewell good friends),

Kris

PS- Big birthday wishes are being sent out to my lovely lady housemates Diana and Jehn! I miss you girls! :D

Pre Trip Planning!

adventurekris — Thu, 1 Jul 2010 13:03:00 GMT

T minus 2 months and 12 days until I fly to Kenya!

I am, to say the least, overwhelmed. Overwhelmed with excitement, anxiety, planning brain thoughts (work is a great place to think about all the other things you need to me doing), joy, the thought of packing and moving my stuff out, this summer's triathlon I am competing in, my two week trip to Wyoming (which is in 25 days), enjoying summertime activities and beginning to get my stuff together for grad school applications. I haven't even started studying Swahili!

What I have done is: bought my plane tickets, plaid my program fees, written TONS of thank you notes to those who have helped fund my trip, purchaced health insurance (yippee!), as well as purchased travel insurance, and found a subleter for my room.

Much love to ALL!

Kris

PS- As a rather dorky side note, I have been mildy addicted to the song "Africa" By Toto and have listen to the song probably (on average) once a day for the last month and a half. If you haven't heard it, look it up!