Left Auckland an unbearable 7:30 in the morning
on the first leg of “The Full Monty” Kiwi Experience. Thank god for coffee is
all I say, without a rushed Starbucks I think the first day would have bee null
and void for me! The bus headed out of Auckland and North to the Bay of Islands
on the East coast. Not much to see along the way so bar one stop, for something
to eat in the Beehive café, we rushed our way to Paiha for lunch time. I think
my Vegemite/Marmite intake has more than trebled since I got here!
All five of the BUNAC guys who are doing Kiwi
Experience, checked into a room in the “Pipi Patch Lodge”, which is another
Base hostel like the ACB. The hostel is literally 100m from the beach, so I
obviously spent my afternoon in the 27°, basking my “see-through”, milk bottle
of a complexion… under a healthy dose of factor 40 though!
At this point I think it is my duty to big up
the traditionally ‘un-cool’ usage of high factor sun cream! You see the Kiwis
may be blessed with a pretty decent climate: they get pretty hot summers but
with enough rain to base a lot of their economy in agriculture. But
unfortunately thanks to the massive hole in the Ozone layer directly over the
place, Mr. Sunshine comes along with his friend, Mr.
Second-Highest-Worldwide-Skin-Cancer-Rate. And so you see that lad, such as my
self, without a single drop of melanin to show for doesn’t really stand much
chance on Portrush beach (no actually) never mind under God’s giant
South-Pacific magnifying glass that hovers overhead. Hell I’m surprised my organs
don’t burn through my glassy dermis! They don’t sell under SPF 25 here anyway,
so no bashing me when I return as white as ever!
Anyway... Apart from Craig and my heroic swimming efforts
(against the tide) to claim a small island for ourselves, there wasn’t much drama
that afternoon so we went back to the Pipi Patch to enjoy the BBQ we had booked
for. After a pretty decent meal, consisting of the much needed nutrients that
MackyDees and BK just can’t supply, we headed out to the hostel bar for a few
and then to ‘the Salty’ to listen to one of the shittiest play-lists I have
ever heard! If I wanted to listen to music like that I would head to the Bot. I
may hate myself at a later date for saying this, but fuck it was worse than the
Bot. It was good to see everyone loosen up with a couple of Tuis in them, so I
guess in a round about way Shakira and John Bon Jovi aren’t so bad. But
seriously ugh yuck.
The next morning I found that it’s just as hard
to get up at 6 a.m. without a hematology lab in your path as it is with. The
day trip bus left early, through the pouring rain to go up to the Northlands.
The bus drove through miles of desolate-looking farmland and droughted forests
(kind of reminds me of somewhere…) with barely a house in sight, finally
stopping for a walk through a Kauri rainforest. It was pouring in true
rainforest style by this stage, which made the walk along the tourist-ridden
platform a bit of a pain but I trudged on in my wee Peter Storm to see the
second biggest (notice a pattern here?) trees in the world. Pretty cool
actually, but I was too busy trying not to slip while keeping my eyes peeled
for Kiwi birds and moaning about the weather; who says us boys can’t
multitask?!
Straight on up then, past the rain clouds to
Cape Reinga. This is the most Northerly point and where the Tasman Sea and
(specific) Pacific Ocean meet, which is not as dramatic as my little brain
imagined it! There was a lighthouse and a signpost and a sign to tell me I was
18029km from London, and even further away from Northern Ireland I guess! Oh
and not forgetting a not so amazing tree on the cliff, which our guide went on
and on about.
Next on the agenda we headed to the massive sand
dunes at Te Paki stream for definitely the best thing I have done so far, sand
boarding down them at 90kmph! The trek up the dunes was bloody hard but at the
top, with my heart racing I got on the board and fired myself down the thing
face first! The first incline was amazing and I shot down the thing, screaming
like a wee girl until I came to a stop on the other side of a stream! I even
coped with the pain of the climb to go up (and down) three times! Check out the
video, this was great fun!
Next drive was down the flatteringly named
90-mile beach, as it is only 67km long! (I should have asked for a refund) It
was cool if not a little scary to drive at 100kmph on the sand, bumps and all!
We stopped near the end for a swim and surf in the great waves as well as
snapping some good photos, it felt so bleak out there.
Final stop was for “Fush ‘n’ Chups or Chups, but
not Fush on its own, and maybe with tomato sauce, or vinegar, or not, and you
put it on yourself” the guide announced to us, as if we were unaware of the
concept of a chippy! Pretty sure all Kiwis think they invented this fine, local
delicacy, maybe Captain Cook accidentally dropped his kipper in batter and
boiling fat on his break from Maori-massacring. Finished up the day with a few
beers on the beach, the stars where fantastically bright and the sand bugs ate
me alive…
On Monday a few people grabbed swimming stuff
and walked through Waitangi (where the treaty was signed) and along the inlet
to Hararu Falls, again keeping out eyes peeled for Kiwis! This was Kiwi
territory after all; shame the bastards only come out for two hours a day!
Seriously, it’s like the crappiest animal in the world!
Tuesday brought the first lye in for quite some
time, which was gladly accepted by all the guys at least! Eventually we dragged
ourselves to the docks to get the ferry out to Urupukapuka Island (no
actually), where I really went out there and… lazed around on the beach! And
after a week I saw my first Kiwi sheep here, I’m pretty sure they were more
tanned than me! Ugh!
The next day was the lovely Craig’s very own 23rd
birthday! So on his request we got ice cream, a beach ball and used our awesome
originality to come up with a birthday day at the… beach! That night we ended
up in the Salty yet again, but this time I had no money for the Liquor, so had
to have my head hammered by Fiddy and friends for hours!
The last day in Paihia was spent avoiding the
downpour outside by slowly vegetating in front of quality Kiwi day time TV.
Headed back to the ACB in Auckland later that afternoon, not sure what I’m
going to here for another two nights! Have to wait for the next bus to the
Coromandel on Friday, and Auckland is a bit of a bore by now! Looking forward
to more of this country and more sunshine I’m hoping!
