Laousy Travels
The travels aren't lousy...it's just a hilarious play on words. Crap I know but at least you don't have to experience the equally humorous punching/slapping/hair pulling so the punchee screams "ow", then with a snigger the puncher exclaims "haha- owie in laos-ie" Great fun.
Arrived in a town called Pakse yesterday (again-a wacksie in packsie, sorry) after getting dumped on the side of the road in an unknown location as is customary. One then has to pay about half the cost of the bus fare again for the driver's mate to bring you to the actual town you already paid to get to, said mate in tuc tuc brought is to the 'centre' and we were wandering down the main street, lonely planet book 'south east Asia on a shoestring', hereinafter referred to as 'the bible', in hand, lugging our backpacks around in search of a room when a pick-up reverses back towards us and a strangely facial haired man, who shall be called dodgy Czech man, asks whether we coming or going. Without much choice, we follow him to his place, which incidentally is a massage parlour with several young lao women mulling about and a distinct lack of any signage resembling a guesthouse or similar. Nonetheless, we are shown the room which will be ready in 20 minutes (no sheets or pillows or power working) and as it costs $6 (all prices will be referred to in Australian $ as € and £ are now foreign to us), and we see little option for getting out of it, we take the room. Later on, as we head out, dodgy Czech man (DCM) asks if we want to go for a drink, he knows a great French place that has great whiskey but not to let his wife know. We politely decline this most enticing offer and say maybe tomorrow. However, as we sit in a cute little bar with a beer, we realise we may be said French whiskey bar.
A little side note here to mention the fabulous game we played here, inspired by a tail-less cat passing by. The title is 'If I had a cat with no tail, id call it...' and some corkers emerged; Tail(or) Swift, Catniss Everdeen, Catamaranovermytail, have a break have a kit kat, cat me of you can, like a cat out of hell...ok you get the gist.
Anyhow upon returning to turn in for the night, DCM was waiting for us and somehow knew we had been at the bar and asked us to go back with him just for one to hand out massage flyers. There was a huge storm raging at this stage. Jo heads off to bed and the boys go for one. An hour later, Jo is woken by DCM and Andy who has apparently be forced to have 5 of these Laos whiskeys and told we are all going to a Laos disco. No amount of declining works and Jo and one of DCM's various girlfriends/wives are forced to get dressed and all head back again to the bloody French bar. The poisonous whiskeys come out (in pineapple and mint flavour!) and some nice English and Irish backpackers there attempt to save us but no luck, its off to the disco we go in DCM's pick-up, miles away in the sticks so it is and we are assured there will be no tourists there, only locals, wonderful! So we go, we dance, we have every person there wanting to be our friend and dance with us, DCM chips a tooth, we manage by the skin of our teeth (teeth don't have skin) and thanks to girlfriend/wifie who is very reluctant, not to have to go to some other 'boom boom' place afterwards.
It is now the following afternoon and he barged in about an hour ago telling us we are going for a drink so Andy had to bravely go down and tell him we didn't want to go, to which he made much angry growling noises and we are now in hiding.
Heading to a place called four thousand islands tomorrow-if we manage to get out of DCM's captive den!
