the love you seek, is always seeking you

Paradise. Crystal clear water, volcanic sand and sunshine streaming into my skin, illuminating my veins and making me feel the most alive I have felt in a long, long time.


You see, my trip to Tenerife was a last minute escapade. In the middle of London city girl lifestyle, business deadlines and work stress, I reached to a point where I could no longer keep going without heading for a breakdown. So on a Thursday evening on my way home from work, whilst stuck in traffic I reached for my iphone and decided to buy a flight to the Canary Islands.


I swim in the sea for what feels like hours. I get out and I sunbathe, I get an ice cream. I find a nice caffe and eat a vegetable toastie with a glass of sangria... oh life is just so good.

Whilst walking back to the hotel I see a sign for yoga. I cannot resist these signs and decide to check it out. I meet Luana. A lovely curly haired lady who only speaks Spanish and I English and we communicate in both languages mixed together. Luana and I become friends instantly and she shows me around the island of Tenerife and introduces me to her friends. The next few days are spent at beach bars dancing, meditative walks (getting lost and sitting with strangers talking about life!), a swim with the dolphin's, learning to surf and watching the sunset with this group of people who I realised knew ME. Not what I did for a living, where I am from or what I studied. They knew me... What makes me laugh, what makes me sing, what expressions my face make... and I was relieved to know that 'me' still existed.

I was in love with Tenerife. I felt loved by these people in 10 days. I felt love for myself. My skin was radiant, back to my normal tan colour. My eyes glowed and my face relaxed. I had almost forgotten that smile on my face.

On landing back in London I met with two of my best friends and poured the contents of my heart out about how miserable I have been feeling in London. I had been waiting too long for someone to reach out to me, but had finally had the courage to reach out and was received with unconditional love.

That night back in my apartment in London I sat down and wrote this:
''And more then ever, now I know. When I am good to me, life is good to me... It is an intense paradoxical change. You cry and you scream and you sit in your pain of isolation, fear and panic. And there is no one. And when you STOP, bring yourself closer to people... People come closer to you. The love you seek, is always seeking you.'