Chasing Ann
Arrived at Cancún in the morning following a bus journey with Ann and Ann’s friend and tried to find our hostel on foot. This was a bad idea. Spent ages wandering round in circles on Xel-Ha road, which we could never seem to get off! Eventually found it after finally resorting to a taxi. We were shown to our room – meant to be a private room with shared bathroom, turned out to be a HUGE private room (two double beds and a queen size) with a private bathroom – all for 2.50 each per night! However the cleanliness of the room was questionable and neither of us showered in the bathroom while we stayed there, since we suspected we would end up feeling even dirtier after using the shower (which had no hot water!).
Jumped on a bus and visited Cancun island where all the huge hotels and resorts are. Eventually found a beach by marching through a posh hotel lobby, only to be met by hurricane style winds when we got there! Lisa was worried that it would be like a Spanish resort, complete with permanent sun parasols and loungers. Charlie said it wouldn’t be anything like that. It was worse! English were replaced with Americans. Area is very touristy and commercial – sun lounger tried to escape by scaling halfway up a wall in the wind and nearly hitting us ha ha. Went to Senor Frogs – hideous eatery – as we needed a cerveza to numb our pain – and placed our order. Charlie decided that a large one would be nice, and instead of the expected bottles, 2-pint steins arrived ha ha! Everyone looked shocked at the two English people with the huge beers. The waiters liked to chat and make stupid jokes so we told one with poor English that we were on our honeymoon. He made rude gestures then disappeared! Oh dear. 5 minutes later the whole team of waiters turned up blowing whistles and sang us a song about a honeymoon (to the tune of happy birthday) and then made us blow out a tissue that they set on fire and gave us free shots. Not too bad. Worse was to come. They tried to smear Lisa with cream unsuccessfully, then got Charlie instead. Lisa refused to lick the cream off. Waiters looked disappointed. We escaped shortly afterwards. Returned to Cancun town on the bus. Polite bus driver announces a destination on route “this is casa maya” he said. American woman screamed in his face “IS! THIS! CASA! MAYA!”. Cue sniggering. Returned to hostel, went to local park at night and found cheap snacks.
The next day we decided to escape Cancun and went to nearby Isla Mujeres, a 30 minute boat trip away. Island more commercialised than we expected. Decided to walk to opposite end of island to see a turtle farm. Everyone else hired scooters and golf buggies. Taxi drivers shocked that we were attempting to walk anywhere at all! Lazy. Also saw a pirate’s house and a mini zoo – animals did not look happy. On another walk, who should pass us by but Ann and Ann’s friend. Charlie waved but they looked confused. Got a taxi back into the town centre of the island – by this point we had walked about 10 miles in flip flops. During the day, we managed to observe 3 falling people, much to our hilarity:
1) Workman stood on steel pipe and rolled to the floor.
2) Woman slowed to a dangerous speed on a pedal bike and promptly fell off.
3) Obnoxious American woman in 7-Eleven store who was very patronising to the cashier was reprimanded by fate when she slipped on the highly polished floor right in front of us, banging first her knee and then smacking her head into the part-open door.
Met Ann and Ann’s friend while we were waiting for our return boat. Much to our glee they were getting the same one as us. Ann is stout, harsh and dumpy, while Ann’s friend is tall and gangly and boyish. Ann’s friend is bullied by Ann, who steals all of her food.
Return to hostel. Went to a shop for a coffee and tried to hide our sunburnt faces in vain as people commented “ROJO” = RED! Beacon faces blush even more. Looking forward to leaving the next day!
Final Thoughts: Cancun is hideous. Overdeveloped, overpriced and overfed. Too many tourists – American and English! We don’t like it here very much. We want slums. Only gains points due to tourist instability and fondness for the floor.
Mark out of 10 = 2.
Next time … Tulum.
