Fifteen months ago, before we had left Australia on our
round the world adventure, Ingrid and I were arriving back to Australia from a
one month journey around the most culturally different country we have ever
visited, India. I have to admit, at the time I had absolutely no clue if I
would ever get a chance to go back to such an amazing country, let
alone in 15 months time! The whole reason we had travelled to India in the
first place was purely because we knew it was a ‘must see’ destination for us,
however we could not possibly see a way (at the time) of working it in to our round
the world itinerary. So the decision was made to travel there separately to our
big adventure, and actually use it as a bit of a ‘trial run’ of how we were
going to travel around the world. We took the same supplies that we thought we
were going to take around the world with us to see if we had the list right. As
it turned out we’re glad we did, because we definitely made some changes before
the big trip (but that’s for another post). Anyway, the point is, we definitely
did not expect to be traveling to India on this trip. But you know what, you
can plan all you want, you can be as sure as anything of where you want to go
and what you’ll be doing during your time away, but amazing opportunities are
bound to present themselves, and I personally think that if you don’t embrace
them and accommodate to them when they come around then you’re not true
travellers willing to experience all this world has to offer. Well… At least, that was our argument when trying to convince
ourselves that dropping 2 weeks of our time in Canada, backtracking 12,000kms
and an additional $3000AUD in airfares were small sacrifices in order to
experience an Indian Wedding! This leads me to why on Earth we were returning
to India so soon.
During our last visit to the subcontinent, we spent a great
deal of time with an Indian friend of ours, Gian, and his family. Gian had been
an exchange student living with Ingrid’s family some 8 years ago in Hoddles
Creek for a few months. He had always kept in contact and reminded us on many
occasions that we were all most welcome and that we must visit. Ingrid and I stayed with Gian and his family for about
a week and really got to know everyone very well. Then, approximately one year
later, Gian messages us while we were traveling through Scandinavia telling us
that he was now betrothed and was to be married in December (around 2 months
time) and would love it if we would come to his wedding in Ludhiana, India. As
explained earlier, we thought long and hard about it, but in the end said ‘What
the hell, when else are we gonna get to go to an Indian wedding?… In India!” So, fares were booked, and out of Toronto we
flew to Delhi.
An added bonus of coming to India was the fact that Peter,
Ingrid’s father, and his partner Gill had also accepted Gian’s invitation. This
meant we got to spend time with them for the first time in 5 months! After arriving into Indira Gandhi Airport at
1am we had a fun time trying to spot our driver with his A5 sized “Ingrid” sign
in a crowd of about a thousand Chauffeurs and Cab drivers. This took a good
hour or so. So by the time we arrived at our apartment it was more like 2.30am
– but Pete and Gill were up (droopy eyes and all) and ready to greet us. We had
so much to catch up on, but we thought better of it, left it for the morning,
and got some well overdue shut eye after 21 hours in transit.
Aside from catching up with Pete and Gill, we spent the next
day exploring some of the attractions of Delhi. During the morning we visited
the Bahai (Lotus) Temple. This Lotus shaped modern Temple belongs to the Bahai
faith, which proclaims the unity of all people and religions, and so everybody
is welcome to worship there. The marble temple is simply beautiful and the
surrounding gardens were very tranquil and relaxing. Then after our first true
Indian lunch for many months (dear god was it delicious) we drove to Humayun’s
Tomb. The tomb was built in 1570, and
houses the body of the second Mughal emperor, Humayun. It was the first of this
type of Mughal architecture to be built in India, and was actually the
inspiration for the Taj Mahal, in Agra. The tomb is part of a greater complex
that's set amongst more beautiful gardens.
As the afternoon grew slightly darker we took the newly finished Delhi
Metro into Chandni Chowk, the main street of old Delhi. We couldn’t drive there
simply due to the sheer volume of traffic (it was bad enough in the other parts
of the city). Chandni Chowk is chaotic, crumbling and congested, but completely
captivating as well. As one of the oldest and busiest markets in India, its
narrow winding lanes are full of pedestrians, Rickshaws, Taxis, food carts,
Motorized Scooter (zooming through the crowd as if the people weren’t even
there sometimes) and thousands of animals. But what an amazing experience it
was to be part of the action in one of the oldest bazaars in the world, we
loved it.
The next day was a long and draining day of dodging trucks,
buses, Tuk Tuks and suicidal scooters on the highway from Delhi to Ludhiana. A
trip of only around 300kms which would normally take around 3 hours in
Australia took us a good 8-9 hours on India’s crowded and half built highways.
But we eventually arrived and were greeted in the same amazingly friendly and
welcoming way Ingrid and I had grown accustomed to during our previous visit to
Punjab (Ludhiana is located in the state of Punjab, which has the highest
population of Sikh’s anywhere in the world – the same faith of which Gian’s
family belongs to – and is quite different to Hinduism when it comes to
weddings as we were to discover later).
During the days leading up to the wedding celebrations we
four Australians were given a fair bit of spare time, what with all the
preparations taking up so much of the family’s time. However, in spite of this we
were still put up in the best hotel in town, given a driver for our entire
stay, were treated to Massages, Shopping trips, tailored clothes (for the
wedding ceremony and lunch) and even Indian style make-overs for the girls!
While we realise Gian’s family is quite well off (even by Australian
standards), it is also a cultural must to treat your guests as well, if not
better, than your own family. Therefore, let’s just say we were extremely well
looked after, and are SO appreciative of it (thank-you Gian – I know you’re
reading this, haha).
Aside from the wedding celebrations, we managed a day trip
out to Amritsar, a city close to the Pakistani border. Amritsar is home to the Harmandir
Sahib or ‘Golden Temple’ as it is more commonly known, and is considered holy
by Sikhs. The most holy text of Sikhism, the Guru Granth Sahib, is always
present inside the temple. Its construction was mainly intended to build a
place of worship for men and women from all walks of life and all religions to
come and worship God equally. The temple is located on an island surrounded by
a manmade lake within the Gurdwara walls. The exterior is covered with Gold
Plating while the interior is decorated with brilliant silks and gemstones. The
whole place is truly beautiful.
The wedding celebrations began around 4 days prior to the
actual ceremony with an evening dinner with the extended family at Gian’s
family home. A night of singing, dancing and amazing food had us thoroughly
enjoying ourselves. Even I couldn’t help but get involved by performing a
couple of songs for Gian and his family. The next night was a more formal
dinner evening for most of the wedding guests located at a nearby ‘Farmhouse’
on the outskirts of the city. We were at the farmhouse during the day, but once
we returned at night the place had been completely transformed. It looked
absolutely incredible with flowers and candles everywhere throughout the
gardens. Another night full of dancing, eating and mingling; ending in a very
unique tradition where the ‘Groom and Groomsmen’ (in this case Gian and his
mates) get their faces covered in a Turmeric paste by the female family members.
It is said to soften the skin in preparation of the wedding. The night was so
much fun, even Ingrid and I were pulled up on stage to dance for everyone in
true Bollywood style (sorry, no footage of that one :P).
The morning of the wedding we woke at 4am dressed in our
specially made white Kurtas (long shirt)and the long white Kachheras (shorts)
and travelled just outside of Ludhiana to Bhaini Sahib which is considered to
be the Headquarters of the Namdhari faith (a sect of Sikhism). The wedding
ceremony took place in the Bhaini Sahib with 3 other couples being wed
simultaneously in front of thousands of relatives and guests, separated with
women on the left and men on the right – all dressed in a sea of white in front
of the Namdhari’s living Guru, Jagjit Singh (91 years old) who was present to
bless the unions. The formalities of the union in fact were quite simple
compared with our own customs. Each couple drank from a shared cup, had the
same holy water sprinkled in their faces and hands and walked around a sacred
fire four times while tied together by a scarf (the fire bears witness to their
marriage). After they sit back down, the people at the front chant mantras from
the holy books. At the end of each mantra, the crowd joins in for the last
couple of phrases and they are now married. This all ends pretty much right on
sunrise so that they are wed at the beginning of a new day. While this was very
different to the idea of the colourful and boisterous celebration of an Indian
wedding I had in my head (having only been exposed to what I had seen through
Bollywood), this ceremony was so unique and special and nothing like what I had
expected that I was even happier we had made the journey.
Directly following the ceremony we witnessed a fun little
game the sisters of the new wife play with the newly married couple. Like many
religious temples around the world everyone had to remove their shoes before
entering the Gurdwara and after the bride & groom came out the sisters had
‘kidnapped’ their shoes. The bride managed to get hers back quite quickly but
Gian was still bartering with the girls over getting his own back Finally every
when we were all enjoying breakfast following the ceremony. In the end he had
to pay to get them back. It was a fun little custom to watch. There was lots of
giggling and fun arguments between Gian & the girls as they tried to get as
much out of him as possible.
Everyone was then welcomed back to Gian’s family home for a
nice lunch. This was the first time Gian’s new wife, Amrita, has stepped into
her new family home. (In Namdhari tradition, the bride will generally leave her
family home behind and move in with the Grooms family.) The lunch was fantastic
and we had our first chance to get to know Amrita, seeing as she and Gian were
not together at all in the weeks leading up to the ceremony. In fact, being an
arranged marriage they had only met a handful of times, which in most cases is
quite a lot – Gian’s own parents did not meet until their wedding ceremony!
The following day Pete and Gill continued their own Indian
holiday leaving for Rajasthan, a province further south. It was so nice to have
spent those days with them, especially seeing as it was pretty much halfway
through our adventure. As they were continuing their Indian holiday, we were
ending ours. We took a train back to Delhi, and as it turned out, we did not
have to take it alone. The happy couple themselves were heading towards their
honeymoon and two of their friends also joined us as they were off on their own
holiday. It was a really nice chance to chat to Amrita some more and also to see
how at home both Gian and her seemed already after only a handful of days spent
together. But after we arrived in Delhi, and had filled up on some long missed,
melt-in-your-mouth Chicken Tikka Rolls from one of Gian’s favourite food joints
in Delhi, it was time to say goodbye. We all boarded our respective flights and
headed in our own directions. For us, it was back to New York City for some
well-earned ‘staying put’. After so much flying, training and driving the idea
of settling down in one location for a whole month was sounding so very very
appealing.
