When I step outside

As I walked in to my childhood room at my parents’ house, I saw piles of red and gold on the table. Unlike any other evening, the sight was particularly out of ordinary. Not because I am now living in another town and going home to my parents is a holiday, but there was something different that evening. There were four 40x60 cm trays wrapped in red fabric and adorned with golden ribbons. On the left side, there were two Balinese oranges, strangely green in colors and tied up nicely with some red fabric. That was the first tray. Next to that was another red tray with boxes of rice noodles, wrapped in transparent plastic wrap and had a sticky label on top of it. It was written in Chinese, Xuang Xi, meant Double Happiness. Another tray was filled with ceramic jars full of candy. Still, all the jars were wrapped in red and golden ribbons. And finally, one last red and golden tray was sitting on the right side of the table and I could see a sweet cake was placed inside of it.

All those trays were set as a part of my engagement celebration. Grew up as an Indonesian Chinese woman, I did not have the right understanding of the ancestors’ tradition and if I happened to practice them, it was merely a custom. Since very young, I already set my view to the western and more modern lifestyle. I would willingly believe in any arguments or opinions which based on research or made any sense to me. By having those view, I always rejected my own traditions which no longer made any sense in my perspective.

Until one day, one good friend was having dinner with me. She asked me about the engagement preparation and I started to whine on her. I mentioned about the meaning of all those red trays, Balinese oranges, sweet cakes or candy and many more. She was laughing at me and called me as an uneducated Chinese woman. Behind her laugh, she explained to me that all those trays were set as wishes for the relationships to be as sweet as the cake and candy. The rice noodles represented the unending feast in our future family, as well as the Balinese oranges. All was set as a way to represent good wishes. Not to mention the red and gold colors and the Xuang Xi symbol attached on every tray. Those were all prayers.

That evening, when I walked in to my room, I was smiling at the richness of my own tradition and fingers crossed for all the prayers.