beyond myself

Looking at the window, the reflection of my face was ambiguously dusky surrounded by lights, the others’ faces, one by one passing, and the images of chaos. It was a very deep moment that every detail was telling a story. Such emotions occur when traveling for the first time for a long distance by a car, particularly, when used to live in a very small-crowded city. My head was filled with thoughts. It was so intense that I almost felt my head exploding, but I knew things will be pretty clearer later on.
I gazed at everything as if I have been a blind for life and, at this moment, I can finally see. Peoples’ faces were way different than those I lived among. These differences fulfilled my desires to seeing the world in real, even more; I and the world were part of each other walking side by side in harmony. These beautiful strangers don't know that right now, a twenty-year old girl is traveling, not physically moving rather her entity as a whole is stepping forward. The pronoun "I" was profoundly changing in my head to "she" till I reached a point where I started doubting my own existence. Yes, the nothingness filled me. Though I was deeply disconnected, I was at the same time getting closer to something inexplicable inside. All of a sudden, dozens of questions arise, starting from do I really exist to how did I end up here?
After five hours of driving, the car stopped to have a break. Apparently, traveling by cars makes you deeper anyway. Minutes later, I was half-awakened by the hands of an old man mistakenly touching my head. He said something in a language I don't comprehend, but I understood the smile. Thus, I smiled back then he disappeared. At that moment, I couldn't stand the idea of having one homeland. Because I felt like belonging to this old man’s hands, to the language he spoke and to those far-off streets. How can I be from one place when feeling nostalgic to every country in the world even those I have never went to?
Up till now I am not sure if this very old man was real. Meanwhile, I was fully-awakened from my ecstasy when I received a message saying: “Honey, you are already missed”. I spontaneously responded with a smile on my brooding face: "Well, I do exist!"