back to the roots Somebody sometime told me that ancient Bulgarians were a nomad tribe...

Dear Friends,

I am assuming that you all are impatiently waiting to hear about our Vipassana course and the benefits of silence:-)

Well, 10 days of quietude is a gift that every human being should have a right to. I knew my mind was tired of inner dialogs, my ears were yearning for rest, and even my jaws were aching of talking, but I had no idea how exhausted my entire body was of having to meet all the demands of the communication we are involved in incessantly.

For the duration of the course, we were asked to not talk to anyone but the management, and only in case of emergencies. This included no communication through writing or any type of body language. The fact that women and men stayed separated all through the course helped me and Misha bring our communication to merely a couple of sympathetic glances :-)

Each one was assigned a tiny cell (bed only) and a meditation cushion for the meditation hall, which for ten days I personally got to know to the smallest details :-) We were to surrender to the following schedule:

4:00 a.m. (I am not kidding) - wake up
4:30 - 6:30 a.m. - fist meditation session
6:30 - 7:30 a.m. - breakfast
7:30 - 8:00 a.m. - rest
8:00 - 11:00 a.m. - meditation
11:00 - 12:00 - lunch
12:00 - 1:00 - rest ( the only opportunity to catch up on sleep)
1:00 - 5:00 p.m. - meditation
5:00 - 6:00 p.m. - tea break.  There was no dinner, but the masala tea, or chai offered were a balm for the stiffened by the hours of sitting body.
6:00 - 7:00 p.m. - meditation
7:00 - 8:30 p.m. - video teachings by Goenka,the person who claims to have brought Vipassana back to India from Burma, were it had been preserved as the original teachings of Buddha for 25 centuries.
8:30 - 9:00 a.m. - last meditation
9:30 - lights out. Oh bliss! to curl in my sleeping bag and listen to the thundering sky and similarly thundering monkeys (not as cute as you probably imagine) from there.

For three days and a half we were instructed to observe our breath while focusing on a small area of the face (nostrils and upper lip). At times it was fascinating to discover sensations I never new existed and at times it would be awfully frustrating to loose my own breath and have to dig it up out of the clutter of thoughts that kept flooding my meditation. (A frustration known to anyone who's tried to observe their own mind)

On the fourth day we were given knew instructions: we were now to use our sharpened attention to scan the body paying due to any sensations, gross or subtle, with equanimity. Easy! :-) Easy until one discovers that the scan needs to be done in a certain order which is not the order of appearance of the sensations, and no, one can not jump from the tickle on the nose to the stab in the shoulder blade and the blissful tingle of the numb leg.... And no, enjoyment and aversion one feels to these sensations does not mean equanimity (it is quite the opposite) and is not included in the "proper way of practice".

For the rest seven days we were to learn through our own experience that everything we know, feel or think of is impermanent and the best way  to be with it is to be aware and equanimous. Ha! I had some glimpses of it, but my main realization was that to be this balanced, wise, compassionate and liberated being one has to work really hard.  The retreat gave me an idea of what it takes to gain control over one's mind and ultimately over one's life.  Time will show if I will be able or willing to pay the price :-)

While in search for the true meaning of life :-), I an Misha can not resist our tourist thirst, and are considering a trip to Ladakh for some hiking and sightseeing before we plunge in the next 10 day residential course "Introduction to Buddhism" back here in MacLeod Ganj. Meanwhile, we are doing some Iyanga Yoga hoping to stretch our meditative :-) bodies.

Love to all of you, and thank you for writing back!
Teodora