Those of you who enjoy the work of Jeremy Clarkson may be glad to know that I picked up The World According to Clarkson, a collection of his Sunday Times columns, a few days ago. Those of you who dislike Jeremy Clarkson will be glad to know that it was a knock-off, so the two US dollars paid will be supporting the local Saigonese economy and not Mr Clarkson's cigarette and petrol addiction. Those of you who have no idea who Jeremy Clarkson is should watch more Top Gear - he's the snarky one who wasn't on Braniac.
It's a shoddy shoddy knock-off, though, from front to back cover and everything in between. The photocopies are faded, there's bits of string hanging out, and the cover looks like it's been subedited by the Guardian, with a score of typos. I've had, as far as I'm aware, three knock-offs. The first was a Lonely Planet Cambodian guide, which I didn't realise was fake for weeks. It had colour plates and a proper cover, though I did notice that the maps were of poor quality. The other was a Lonely Planet Vietnam guide, which I traded for my genuine Lonely Planet shoestring guide. That's a fine Shoestring travel tip, isn't it: "Save money by using fake versions of our books".
My LP Mandarin phrasebook is, however, genuine - though unfortunately LP didn't make any money from me for this either: Shoestring travel tip - "Trade three second hand books and get a newish book in exchange". It was about the first time I've been happy with such a poor rate of exchange. One for one is great, two for one is normally painful enough. The phrasebook is useful, however, and the three books were heavyish and took up lots of space in my daypack.
I'm carrying too many books - the tally is currently three workbooks, three travel-related books, three novels, two puzzle books, a medical handbook, and the mandarin phrasebook, and a partridge in a kitchen sink. And, of course, the Clarkson but I'll trade that in. I just need to find somewhere that'll swap one-for-one.
