Puerto Ricans Love Spaetzle (& Everything Else)

Visiting Puerto Rico? Tired of mufungo? Have some sauerkraut. No, seriously.

Why there is an authentic German biergarten offering stone cold German fare plopped down on top of a mountain in this leafy-green paradise? Because Puerto Rico celebrates differences, that's why. Underneath the plastic culture that exists in most places where boatloads of tourists disembark, there is a Puerto Rico fit for athletes, adventurers, dreamers and entrepeneurs. This biergarten, built by a dreamer and an entrepreneur, is a cherished part of life in the mountains.
In Condado, you pass the CVS, the Gucci store and crumbling, beautiful tenements whose classic Caribbean architecture make you think the streets are lined with crumbling old churches. In some places, they are. In other places, ghost pirates hound tourists as they pose for the ultimate selfie within the walls of the cemeterio that sits on the edge of the sea and the edge of famed barrio La Perla. In La Perla, there is a Carmelo Anthony charity basketball court painted in Denver Nuggets colors. In town, the best restaurant is located in what was once the living room of an old, humidity-sodden house. A world-class chef resides here in the kitchen.
This bar is actually a campus, painted festively to feel a lot like a gingerbread house. You imagine gnomes and deer and mugs of hot cocoa. It is a full-on assault of German culture that is confusing to your body and your mind as you stand, dripping from tropical humidity in front of this so-strange scene. I want to make fun of it but something invites me to look a little deeper. A framed photo catches my eye. A severely-sunburned Bill Clinton is shaking hands with the German. Hilary Clinton has her back to the camera but can be seen in profile, smiling. The top terrace opened up to the lowest plain of the actual heavens. In every direction, every snatch of a glimpse there were peaks of mountains covered in silky greenery and beyond that the sea.

I get it. I felt at home in Puerto Rico the minute my sandals hit the shore.

Most travelers head straight to Old San Juan. Avoid Old San Juan. The historical importance of the city has been trampled down under the feet of the cruise ship set and the locals are welcoming mostly to the dollars, not the tourists themselves. For your first trip, stay in Condado near Avenida Ashford at a beachfront hotel. In Condado, there is a fresh, new vibe and the locals are excited to share their island.