As I sit in my dorm room and obsess about my life

My story will not be a glamorous one. I have never swam with dolphins on the beaches of Cozumel. I have never seen the beauty of life and earth beyond the tops of mountain ranges as others have seen from atop of the Alps. I have never even left the United States. I have however, found serenity going camping as a child. That is when I knew I wanted more in life. I was eager for life to find me and I still am. I want to feel that intoxication of the world that I had felt that summer day. The way I stepped out of the tent from what I thought was early morning and looked out towards the lake. I had no real worries in life back then, yet I still stressed about my future. I looked at the crystal clear water you only see in movies and make up in your head when you read a book. The water was not a blueish nor greenish color, but rather clear, almost gray just like the rocks under it. A sense a tranquility was all around me and I assume it was because of how the trees perfectly surrounded the lake and hid me from the "real world" and my "future". I could pause my life for that moment. Shade was given from the trees so I wouldn't burn up and find sunburns on my shoulders the next morning. I remember the way the sun hit the water and gave the midday a tinted yellow hue. I felt like I could see the beauty in something other than my own made up world. I smelled the air and I felt at peace. I realized that there are feelings and emotions that I never even knew existed. For example feeling fear and excitement all at once when you kiss your high school crush for the very first time. You go on and try to make a good impression because they have no idea you have never been kissed before, because you lied and said otherwise. That feeling of attending your first college party and feeling invincible and rebellious. Feelings you only get to experience once in a lifetime. That was one of the first times I ever felt real emotions towards outside forces. This was the day that I will never forget I wanted to see, but really see the world. I wanted to be found by a mystical being so that I could be snatched away and somehow fast forward to my "future" life. I wanted to feel the rush of a new experience every day. I wanted to feel again what I felt that day. I felt serenity because for a moment, while looking out into the lake, I knew I could change my path however I wanted in life. I realized I could make a difference in the world, just as the world had made a difference in me.