Something Interesting Between Now And Death

The earnest young sergeant knows a lot about arms. So you listen up as he eases into his baritone spiel: “Sir, madam, do not raise your arm. Do not use it to indicate things that interest you or your group. This may result in you or your neighbor being instantly shot by the North Korean sentries you may see, or the ones you’ll never see, who may mistake your limb for a weapon.”

Here on a crest at the Korean DMZ there’s nothing but an overwhelming desire to point out the world’s tallest flagpole, the noisy Propaganda Village, the Bridge of No Return, the site of the Ax Murder Incident. And, of course, the 4-km-wide, coast-to-coast strip that is filled with a pristine eco-zone unmatched in its security for plenty of Asia’s rarest flora and fauna, and unequaled in its capacity to end your life with its mines, automated weapons or belligerent personnel. So, hands in pockets, everyone. At the world’s most heavily-defended border the military kids you not.

Earlier in this USO Tour that the US military leads from its 7:30 a.m. departure from Camp Kim, Seoul, through the orientation at Camp Bonifas (motto: In Front Of Them All) and the short stopover at the Joint Security Area, there are plenty of other things to point out: the waiver you have, shakily, signed will absolve the US Military of responsibility should you be injured or die; the door on the other side of the negotiating room you’ll enter belongs to North Korea and it’s willfully, and meaningfully, unlocked; photos taken on the wrong side of the yellow lines at the Dora Observatory, or, especially, wandering where you’re told not to, will result in a loss of your camera, “face”, goodwill, and, possibly, bring about your introduction to the Korean justice system.

After a traditional lunch, and by the time you get to the 3rd Infiltration Tunnel, your pulse is a-flutter. But should assorted medical conditions rule you out of exploring it on foot the mini-tram will chug you along underground so you, too, can see the interest “the other side” has in clandestine cross-border excavation. “Coming ready or not!”

Souvenir DMZ rice, rusty barbed wire bookmarks, the remains of a pot of fiery kimchi pickles are all likely to be in your daypack when you roll home into Seoul at 3:30 p.m., 90 minutes and, in a sense, six decades’ away from your Cold War experience. One day DMZ tours may be merely a thing of the past – make sure they’re a thing of your past. That’s worth pointing out, too.