Sarah Jean Journeys

Mother Nature is a Drag Queen. Mother Nature is a capricious Drag Queen. Mother Nature is a capricious Drag Queen with a maxed out credit card. In the last 24 hours, I witnessed her change outfits no less than 63 times, each as flamboyant and ostentatious as the next.

Yesterday, I went on a Fiordland tramp with my newfound friend and busmate, Kari. We took a morning water taxi to Brod Bay, did a little beach Yoga, and climbed Mt. Luxmore. After hours of trekking, we made it past the bush line. Never have I hauled myself so high.

The air lightened as my lungs puffed, "It's aw-...ful high...you sure... you want... Oh! Oh, okay, now we're good. Yep. Yep, I'm sure. Onward!" We pushed a while further until we came to Luxmore Hut.

The hut was hopping! The kitchen area was massive, the mattresses were in good condition, and there was even a Helicopter Pad just in case you had to James Bond outta there.

I took a long lunch atop the mountain while Kari pressed onward. I met many fellow hikers at the Hut. Two of them, Dylan of Australia and Quiet Dude of Germany, and I went in search of the mystical cave we kept hearing about. It turns out Dylan is a geology teacher! Looks like me and QDG lucked out on a spelunking partner.

After almost falling on my ass 4 times and successfully once, we were in the depths of the cave. Dylan taught us about helictite. Helictite is the estranged step-sibling of the stalactite and stalagmite twins. It swings by once a year for its Christmas money, grabs some sugar cookies, and then deuces. It is chemically formed in the same way as stalactites and stalagmites with one pivotal, physical difference. Instead of growing straight up or down, it grows sideways, at angles. Helictite can only form when the fissure above opens at the same rate as the helictite wants to grow--veeery slooowly. If the fissure opens too quickly, the sodium bicarbonate-filled water droplet will plummet to the cave's bottom, becoming the cause for the throbbing pain in my ass.

Kari returned to the Hut with news that our taxi driver needed to be off the water soon. We galloped (quite literally) down the mountain in just over an hour.

Rarely does my mind quiet. With cities and hidden lakes beneath me, trees dripping neon tinsel at every turn, and caves exposing millennia of history, my mind crossed its legs and closed its eyes while my irises exploded. Brava, Mother Nature--you fabulous dresser, you!