Not all who wander are lost (but I probably am)

It’s 3:15 AM, and we are sitting on a curb as we await our vehicle of choice: a shuttle bus, destined to transport us from Antigua, Guatemala to Leon, Nicaragua in just 15 hours. Although we had been promised a 3 AM departure, morale is high.

Well versed in just how miserable traveling by shuttle can be, we take turns speculating upon our fate.

“Being stuck in a middle seat would be pretty bad,” someone comments.

“What if there aren’t enough seats so they put us on the floor?” another considers.

The clock strikes 3:30 AM, and I sense some tension. Someone asks whether it’s too early to open their can of Pringles. The consensus is yes, but our advice is ignored.

At 3:45 AM it hits me—the only thing worse than getting on the shuttle would be not getting on the shuttle.

It’s 3:55 AM and we are wandering the streets of Antigua in search of Wifi.

Around 4 AM, I flag down a police truck. In my broken Spanish, I convince the officer to bring us to a nearby hostel. We squeeze into the truck, and I am relieved to be off my feet. Admittedly, I can’t help but wonder if it is a bit late (or early?) for this lively Guatemalan pop song.

At 4:20 AM, after several futile attempts to contact the travel agency, we are exhausted and defeated. We opt to head home.

Sometime around 4:30 AM we cross paths with the friendly police officer from before. Oddly enough, this time he doesn’t seem quite as friendly. He starts to question me.

At 4:31 AM in response to what I think is a question regarding whether we pre-paid for our shuttle tickets, “Yes!” I state confidently, “we paid with PayPal.”

4:32 AM. The officer opens the door to the truck. He steps out onto the cobblestone and removes a flashlight from his pocket. He shines the light in my eyes, and I immediately gain insight into the “deer in a headlight” analogy.

4:33 AM. He demands that we empty our pockets.

4:34 AM. He searches our wallets. The only thought that comes to mind is “how on earth did I end up here?”

4:35 AM. The officer asks us to relax, and explains that earlier when he had asked if we had purchased any illegal substances at the hostel, I responded that, yes, we had paid with PayPal.

4:36 AM …Oh…suddenly, I am significantly less confident in my Spanish skills.

At 4:45 AM, we reach home at long last. All worries regarding the missing shuttle have dissipated, as we are relieved to have narrowly escaped a fate of becoming inmates in a Guatemalan prison.

4:46 AM. My head hits the pil—