Over and beyond: how travelling changed my life.

My day had begun early, too early. I was up before dawn. I had indulged in a filling breakfast of hot noodle soup, packed my bag, settled my bill and filled my water bottle with boiling water. I was all set to begin the ultimate day of my trek where i would cross Larke pass, situated at 5150 meters. I was a bit worried but i knew i had come this far.

It was still dark when i started walking. My little head lamp, focused on the narrow path, acted as my guide as i took short steps and deep breaths. I could feel each step draining a bit of energy from my body and mind. I had trekked for nine days to get here and it had taxed me physically. During those days i had heard stories of death and difficulty. Coupled with my own physical disability of obesity and constant chatter by professional guides about how difficult it will be for an out of shape first timer to complete the circuit, i had started to develop a negative frame of mind. But i pushed on.

Daybreak brought with it clear white light and silent breeze. I put my lamp away and looked at mountains that surrounded me. White mountains all around were resolute and a frozen lake was still. The only life around were trekkers,guides and porters, each left to their own device. Some were chatting, some were making a living and i was just trying to keep up.

Walking in this thin-air valley had made me hungry in only few hours. As i settled down to eat a chocolate bar i had packed, i heard screams. I looked ahead where i saw a large group gathered. I rushed to the spot as soon as i could and saw a young porter lying on the ground. A guide was performing CPR on him . After a few minutes he was declared dead. A French trekker began weeping vigorously, a guide began sprinting down valley to inform the police, others moved on, my friends were feeling sorry of the young boy and i just sat on the cold rock. I was not climbing any further.

As i sat there absolutely silent, i wondered why i had undertaken this hard journey. I knew why, i wanted to prove a point. I wanted to prove that being fat did not mean i was weak or unhealthy.

My meditation was broken violently by a cold wind. Time was approaching midday and wind had picked up. I took one last look at the dead 15 yr old and began my way up. Sun was beating down the snow covered valley and the snow was melting. After two hours i finally reached the highest point in the valley. The last step i took to reach the top did not bring me any joy.