On the 15th August 2013, Klas and I left London and started our adventures in India, the rest at that stage was unknown. We had a list of places we were keen to see and countries we thought we might visit, but because of the huge amount of stuff we had to organise before leaving the UK, the 7 1/2 months ahead lay open to inspiration. Looking back I'm happy it worked out that way, it has meant we've remained flexible. The routes we've taken have developed organically because we resisted the urge to plan, as though India has taken us on her own unexpected journey.
Before leaving the UK it was all about endings - endings with my clients, endings with my colleagues, goodbye to our little house and to a chapter of our lives in Edinburgh - well at least until we knew what our future plans would be. There were many goodbyes in Sweden and in the Midlands too, until we set sail into the unknown.
There have also been some endings along the way - back in February I made the decision not to return to my post with the NHS after taking a 12 month career break, which I was due to return to in July. A tough decision to make as I've been so fortunate with my position there and the experience I gained over the past 5 years, but most of all because of the fantastic relationships I've had with my colleagues. As we return from this big adventure, now seems to be the perfect time to take a leap into the unknown and to seek out new challenges, the decision I've made feels like the right one.
We've just spent the last week of the trip searching for Hornbills and rescuing ship wrecked cats on the sweet island of Koh Phayam, off the west coast of Thailand close to the Burmese border. A great place to kick back and contemplate the transition back to reality. As I write this on the final day of our trip, sat on a Bangkok rooftop, thinking about going home tomorrow, I'm caught between day dreaming about all the excitement we've shared versus what lies ahead...
No longer will I wrestle on overcrowed Indian buses with my backpack, brush my teeth with an audience of 10 men on the train, be woken up by the chai man at 5am, cross a busy street with the help of cows and goats, have to respond to - ' coming from ? ' or.. ' your country ? ' at least 10 times per day. At last I can return to machine washing and no longer have to wear any of these 5 t-shirts ever again! I know that once we reach home turf though, these are some of the intracacies of travelling I'll miss and things that I won't want to forget.
Thinking about returning home or even writing 'home' in actual fact feels strange, we're not even sure where 'home' is yet, 'home' in the physical sense anyway. I think for the first time in my life I'm not sure what I'm returning to. I remain curious, apprehensive too, but up for the challenge and excited about what the next chapter has in store for us.
During our trip we've stayed in 69 different places - some barely resembling anything like 'home' whereas ANET, although being so totally different from anything we've known, felt, for 5 weeks of our life, very much like home.
On this trip 'home' has become ourselves and each other, at times it is all we've had, relying on our own instincts, building resilience, knowing ourselves and our limitations because of the situations we've been thrown into - our relationship is stronger because of all of this. Perhaps this is why India has made such an impression on us - everything about this hynoptic and relentless culture has created a weakness in each of us which in turn has forced us to be stronger. The overwhelming poverty... the beautiful 6 year old girl with a snotty nose clutching at my legs... the family settling down for the night on a partition on the motorway... the man stuggling with a load the size of a small vehicle on his back, desperately attempting to pick up a cigarette butt off the ground - I feel it has been important to see it all, to feel what it feels like to live a privileged life and yet see how other people in this world exist, and the affect this has on us. To consider what drives people in their struggle to survive each and every day and to observe the wonders of their ingenious entrepreneurship. If this doesn't impact upon the way we see, choose, live and work in the world, I'm not sure what will.
I feel a new and different appreciation of humanity, of strength, of community and of the importance of pride. At times in some of the far away places we've chosen to wander, we've found ourselves out of our depth, sometimes lost, and people have helped us, shown us the way, given us honest advice and made us feel safe. Everything always seemed to work out. Maybe we were just lucky but I'm not sure I believe that.
It might be the end of the big trip but now seems to be all about beginnings - we're going back to create a new life for ourselves and a new 'home', in the physical sense but also in terms of incorporating the ways our experiences have shaped us and shifted our perceptions. The rest is unknown. Like our friend Dave recently pointed out ' just because you're not in India doesn't mean the adventures have to end ' ;)
There's certainly so much to look forward to!!! There are new babies to meet!.. babies on the way!.. engagements!.. the weddings of some of our favourite people! Huge reasons to celebrate and lots of opportunities to catch up properly with our families and friends. In terms of work there will be new projects and ventures, artmaking, new connections and lots of learning. We want to approach all of this without letting go of what we have inside us at this precise moment, allowing all that we've gained to guide and inspire us.
When I was about 11 or 12 years old I was sat on the sofa at home looking out at the garden, a very old man walked slowly by, before he passed he stopped and gently bent down to smell one of the roses. This moment brought a tear to my eye, and still does sometimes when I think about it. I didn't know the man and I doubt he's still around but this small memory has always stuck with me. Something about taking time to appreciate the small things, the beauty which lies around us, asking nothing of us but giving so much in return if we just take the time to notice and remain open to feeling moved.
