Send Lawyers Guns and Money Seek first to understand

I had hitchhiked the USA a couple times, crossed the Atlantic and ended up in the UK. England was fun, Edinburgh was cold so off I went to Amsterdam and as cool a place you will find. Amsterdam is such a great cultural melting pot, and needless to say I had fun but had to get moving for a possible gig in Vienna. I had decided to take an overnight train to save on a hostel bill. I figured to pull the seats out and have a 7 hour sleep. There were U.S soldiers on the train going back to their base after some R&R in Amsterdam and we were having a pretty good time smoking and drinking on the train. When it was time for them to get off the train they were kind enough to give me the last of the Marlboro pack for the ride to Vienna. We said our goodbyes and off they went and I went off to sleep and dream, I thought.
I am suddenly awakened by the train stopping and dogs loudly barking. I am in disarray and it takes me several minutes to realize we are at the border checkpoint for Germany. The dogs came into the train sniffing for drugs and suddenly go crazy in my compartment. The police asked me to take down my belongings and I cannot believe this is happening (and so very glad I don't have any drugs on me). The police then open the pack of Marlboro the soldiers gave me and inside was a piece of tin foil. "Oh my God" damn those guys, they left some hashish in the smokes. I was busted. The German guards were stuck in the middle of nowhere with the horrible graveyard shift and now they had a young American with some Hash, let the fun begin. The train was gone and the next one didn't come for 3 hours so they plenty of time to enjoy their little game. You see unknown to me was that the penalty for the amount I had for crossing the border was a misdemeanor, a slap on the wrist, but in their German and with all the histrionic being played out you would have thought I was an international drug cartel under interrogation. After all the "Sturm Und Drang" and a naked body search, ( yeah, anal cavity as well) they had had their fun and the situation became clear. The next train was soon to be here, they made me sign something in German and asked for the equivalent of $45 then sent me on my way. I hope I am never as nervous and scared for such a long period of time as that night at the German Border. I did make it to Vienna and I did get the job and stayed for 6 months and my girlfriend came over and married me. Like I said, it needs a book.