For god alone I have… 5/24/08 2:51 PM
Amazed and overwhelmed I am … God has been so good and great in my life in our life. He has done so many things that paved me to realize how much he loved me. I totally did not know nor had an idea I’d be this close to a king and a messiah. I’m in awe and awestruck wonders of how he love me so much.
I can’t seem to compile the right words to tell you Lord… I am thankful and joyful for you have never left my side…our side. We have seen you in your highest and we have been with you in the lowest of lowest of time… you took the cup that was supposed to be ours. You took the guilt so we can face you today… you loved us first and you never hated us… we have failed you so many times, hurt you, and even blamed you for things that happened that we dint like… yet in return your love we received even ten times fold than what we knew it was…. There was more than what we thought we could have. Or we have. Everyday of my life, I wake up and face the sun, sometimes I wonder what life could be… I stare at the window hoping that, that some day could happen today… at the staircase of each season, challenges comes and go… the trials are not from God… but it draws us near, closer, to kneel down and humble ourselves before the most almighty one. I have heard many music, have sang many songs… but this summer was more than any melody… this…was a journey… I tell god my fears and hope…dreams and pains…there times where I would just lay down on bed…and space out myself in heaven…there were those times, where I had to face loneliness on my own…there were days were I had my heart shattered into pieces--- I dint even know how. …Would I ever be able to move on with all? I cried out to god…I called for help…asked for mercy and love… and he gave me more than what I asked… he gave himself to be part of my own being…as I sit here now? God is amazing… everything that had happened reflecting now, every scene I’ve seen… are flashing like a movie clip in mind…there were nights I spent weeping before god, I felt tired and worn out…I remember that night, where I hang up the phone and went straight to talk to God…I was wearing a brown top and white shorts…it was 3am in the morning I sat down slowly…then… it came so sudden…I look at myself in the mirror, I even so how painful it was… I sunk so deep down…it made fall down…I was weak as a child…wounded and used like pencils cud take sharpens till the end…leaving no eraser to forget everything in a snap…juts thinking about now? Makes me cry out for joy… of how I surpassed things…I had no one yet I had God…I wanted a hug…a comfort…but no one knew except me… I faced my own on my own… all I had with me, is HIM alone…He is just so amazing, Lord you are…I never thought id be happy again… when I had no one you were there… when I needed a hug and a hand. You wrapped me in your arms…when I dint know what music to play or how to keep making a music…you vibe me…till I myself sang every note with joyful heart…you saw in everything…you gave life, peace, joy and strength. You never left me. You never rejected me, you saw me thru everything. There were days that I though I was alone. I needed so much love; I needed so much of it. I wished for some care, someone who would asked you how are you, never say a word then just hug you, I wanted my dad back. I wanted to even go to god an. I was infused facing my reality, weak to have them broken. My world fell apart and no one even knew that, I had no one except you…My God… and today, I am amazed like a child…seeing his father, walking closely each day to remind me… I AM SAFE…AND LOVED…To Thee I trust… though thousands may yet still happen. Century may passed… I am steadfast… knowing I know, who my God is…and that I am his child. Tomorrow is a better day…and someday…when I’m with Him already…eating cupcakes together…laughing. That would be my best day… And as I hope about that today… I’m letting go of my yesterday…taking track meanings of each minutes I have every single new mornings of my life… while glory to glory… being closer—to that ONE DAY, WHERE…I’d see the face of that ONE MAN who rescued me…picked me up…and gave me joys when tears were falling down… infinity is my words to describe my gratitude’s limitless is His love that sustains me to even discover a new mystery of thee bit and pieces of each journey… God, you are my father…wings and love…the air we breathe in today… im no longer afraid to fly out and worship you al the days of my life you my GOD. Again, I thank you…for letting me have such line…”A thousand may fall at your side, and ten thousand at your right hand, but it shall not come near (me) “US”…”Psalm 91:7…Your words are my source of strength…you are the giver of all power and beauty of each humanity…Lord, once again…I’d keep repeating to you that…I love You.
